Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	In a style so odd, it defies all laws of physics.
Clothes:	Leather, belts, chains, bondage pants, collars, and tight shirts.
Powers:	Summoning
Special Features:	Random tattoo(s)
Sidekick:	Large dragon.
Attitude:	Happy, bouncy, too hyper for it to be heathly.
Weapon:	Claws
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Who's HBP??? Who? Who? Who? I sound like an owl...WHO????? Argh...it is so irritating! Oh, yar, I died for my Chemistry...(Who is he? Who?) and I hope I get ok marks for Maths... (WHO??) and I so need to study Biology right now...Bi-O-lO-Gy. Argh! J.K. Rowling better write that book fast.

Curse me for being such an introvert. Everyone around me talking to everyone else but I was standing alone by myself with no one to talk to...and again miss my chance to...hai...nevermind...

He's gone, anyway, so I'm now going to stop thinking about him and really start concentrating on my studies. I really must be able to go to the Thailand trip at the end of the year. Mrs Lim will only let us go if we get 2A and 2AO passes. If I can't go, it'll be too embarrassing...

And I met Jaime again at City Link. It's really funny how we keep bumping into each other...

.

Listening to the news! Again? 'Well, it changes every day, you see,' said Harry. -- OotP

Oh dear...there's a really great risk that that crush of mine will read my blog...so I'm going to delete that post soon...I just it's too nice to be deleted...don't you think? I don't know how I manage to express myself like that...dumdeedum...I'm nuts...By the way, did anybody know that Prong (no no not Prongs) is an American slang for the male sex organ? It says so in the Longman dictionary of contemporary words...if that's what the dictionary's called...I kinda forgot...

.

He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he had told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in his crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing his examiner's reflection. -- Ron, OotP

I was at Orchard MRT station giving out survey forms for PW when I saw Jaime! Gosh, she is so tall and so...(ok, maybe it's just me who's short)...and so beautiful...she's wearing this black top with V-shaped collar and black pants too...going dinner with her family. Sigh...she is so cool and admirable, like always, walking that confident walk and smiling that great white smile...so hardworking, such great leadership qualities and nice and friendly gal...sigh, don't you just wish someone is talking about you like this?

Right, Munirah. That's why you're going to start studying hard to be as hardworking as her, right?

Sigh...

.

"And you won't look at any of us!"

"It's you lot who won't look at me!" said Harry angrily.

"Maybe you're taking it in turns to look, and keep missing each other," suggested Hermione, the corners of her mouth twitching.

"Very funny," snapped Harry

~OotP

He’s so cute! So handsome…so quiet…so strong…so muscular…aahh…too bad he’s a J2…I’m always falling for J2s…except for this guy in my class…though I didn’t really fall for him…I just told Swee Ying he happened to have that ‘smart’ look and she started teasing me already…

Oh and I re-read PoA and boy how much time did you wasted… and it’s just unfair how Harry gets to spend only 2 years with Sirius…it’s so unfair…Munirah, he’s just a character in a book…stop thinking about him and wasting your time!

Time…how precious it is…even though I got kicked out in the qualifying rounds in Rock On Competition, I still haven’t manage to start studying properly…got kicked out…’cause it hurts so much to not be able to qualify…anyway…I don’t think I can finish studying by the end of the June holidays…die…

And I didn’t drop the Frisbee lor…why’d they say I drop the Frisbee? He smacked the Frisbee from my hands, making it drop, and then he picked it up…ugh that lousy little…haish…but it was fun…the farewell barbecue for the Rock Climbing J2s…and they can start studying for their As already…As, Munirah…As…Just reminding you…

.

ron: -awakes suddenly- 'the...the spiders want me to tapdance.. i don't...i don't wan't to tap dance, not with the spiders... the spiders... -continues babbling-
harry: you tell those spiders, ron.
ron: ah... i will... tell them... -collapses back to sleep-

HP3 is good! I wanna watch it again! Prob with my sis when she gets back from camp. And I can't type properly! My fingers all have flappers and blisters on them from rock climbing...competition is on Mon...nervous...but must relax...

Holidays...ya right.
I still have to do that GP essay and that Maths holiday assignment.
I must do the PW proposal form by Tuesday.
I must remind sweeying to bring the form to conduct interviews and surveys for tweety to sign...
And must remember there is PW meeting on thursday...
I should be writing all this in my diary...not here...why am I so lazy?

Anyway, just a couple of stuff I want to do during the holidays so I won't forget:
1. Start doing 100 push-ups every morning after I wake up, like Deborah and Mrs Neo (Mrs Neo does sit-ups everyday...wow.)
2. Study!
3. Study!
4. Study!

I mustn't slack, since my common tests are on the first week of July. Haish...I've really been slacking lor...messy room...messy file...messy everything...I must read up then read through my lecture notes before and after lectures everyday...like Ahmad...and did I mention that Liling scares me? She's such a mugger...I feel stressed around her...and Bernice is starting to be like her too lor...actually a lot of people in my class are hard working...haish...I may be getting ok marks now although I'm slacking, but if this trend continues...I'm going to die...(ugh...this trend this trend this trend...stupid PW proposal form...)

I just remembered I must also make time to do those interview and survey for PW during the holidays...see what my group say first...

And I must start studying during the 3rd week of holidays...since i don't take part in the speed event for Rock On...1st week no time 'cause got make-up lectures (by the way, the teachers want us to hand up the GP essay by Friday, but they will never have time to return to us before the common test...what the...it's just like the AQ questions...that Rukhaidah make us do so many but never return one...so irritating...) then 2nd week got Rock On competition which I'm taking part in...must work damn hard for that...but I must also not forget PoA!!! Of course not...I still haven't decided who to watch it with...maybe i'll ask sweeying and mayble they all...hm...

Anyway, today had been fun meeting the SR people again at Pumfest...sad that bonnie has little time to practise rock climbing though...'cause of PW...and it just had to rain today...it just had to...

Well, you guys can try to make sense of what I just wrote...my English is very very poor...I do the 1100 Words book also no point...compare this English with Adam and Elaine's...haish...I'm very sad...I scared I fail my GP leh...they still haven't return us our faculty test yet...haiyah...and how to get 2 A and 2 AO passes for my promos huh? How huh?

Hah...as if I'm really worried about all this...

To munirah: So I did stole your name. Whatcha gonna do about it, eh? ^_^

And so, we lost the 12x1m race 'cause of the guys who played soccer while we were running, and thus without their support, we lost the race.

Anyway, how am I going to study for Perdaus exam (my religious class) when I have so much Maths homework to do, huh???

xx

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" -Sirius Black, HP&thePoA

I realised my blog is quite outdated. I will update it now...a short one...dum-dee-dum...Let's see...what's been happening lately...

Oh, our class qualified for 12x100m relay...let's hope we win this friday, which is sports day...yeah! But before sports day is chem faculty test day...which I might just fail...still haven't studied yet...argh...that's why I shouldn't be online right now...playing neopets...that silly Wheel of Monotony is still turning around and around and around...only Aliah would know what I'm talking about...hehe...she still plays neopets...haha...so funny...hahaha...how many people in JC still plays neopets? Hahaha...just find it funny...she even fought in the recent war in neopets! Hahaha...ok, I'm going to watch Smallville now...bad Munirah...you should be doing your work...but what was I doing before this? Reading one of Dean Koontz's books...for two and a half hours...hai...naughty naughty Munirah...

xx

Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

If only I hadn't fall...damn it...I was totally focused lor...I was ready to run, ready to take the baton from elaine and ready to pass it to bernice, and ready to smile and see dashini running in to get 2nd place (since we got the silver baton)...but guess what? I fell...I want to blame it on elaine for telling me to slow down but then it's my fault for not being careful and predicting the worst that could happen...argh...

It's also my fault for not taking good care of myself last night...I should have drink more water, should have slept early, having done my work in the afternoon instead of slacking and doing it at night till 12a.m. If only...if only...then me and elaine and bernice and dash would be at the milo truck during sports day, drinking milo and waiting for our 4x100m relay to start...

None of that had happened...instead I'll be crying while I'm bathing 'cause of the pain of that bloody wound on my knee, and praying and hoping that it will heal by Wednesday so that I can do some rock climbing...which I doubt will happen...I can be such an idiot sometimes...not to mention me slacking in my school work...ugh...Munirah, when are you ever going to learn from your lessons?

xx

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Clark is an idiot. If he wants to help his 'friend' so much then just tell Lex the truth about himself lah! And how could Lana say that to Clark??? So Lana doesn't truly love Clark after all...hmph. You don't deserve her, Clark! And I don't get Lex's father...is he saying the truth? Sigh...such a sad case...I can't bear to lose another child said he...

Now Munirah, go do your work. Mrs Neo said that from the O-levels chem grades my class got, she predicts that we can only get a B or a C for our A-level Chem...like...what the...sigh...better start working hard...

xx

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hold
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

~Hurt, Johnny Cash

Dumdeedum...wanted to go back to rgs with eli and liyana but got no time...sigh...been so tired lately...been piling things up...I know things are going to get worse...haish...but I had fun at rock climbing today...as always...yet I still miss sr rocmoc...I seriously should have stayed at sr you know...especially with mr azahar and the exciting gp lectures where we get to watch movies...sr teachers are quite good lah...miss it a lot...sigh...my mum's coughing again...she's always coughing...what's her problem huh? Keep telling us to eat those vitamins and whatever CNI stuff yet she herself don't want to look after herself...I haven't been looking after myself either...I'll like play the whole day then work the whole night without sleeping...hah...very unhealthy...heck...need to do my work now...(Munirah go do your work you lazy pig...time-management...)gosh...can you believe it's April already? Wah...I should start counting down to the A-levels...haha...I'm nuts...I'd rather count down to PoA...yeah! I can't wait!

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Third day was horrible. They cancelled the amazing race and replaced it with stage games...ooooh...ain't that fun? Not.

Heck care about TP. I went back to SR for the orientation finale and it was great. I saw quite a number of familiar faces in SR, went hugging all over the place, and even felt like crying...I miss SR so much...and the finalle was nice. It was one of the best moments in my life. The drum-playing guys were there again and they shook up the hall. What's more, the peer leader's dances were much better than TP's silly stage game dances...

under the sea...under the sea...down where it's better, down here is wetter, take in from me...

The temptation to come back to SR was great...had another headache deciding whether to appeal back or not. Finally, I think I'm going to stay at TP...because cheeyong started talking about small fishes and medium-sized fishes...how I'm a medium fish in a small pond if I stay at SR, but when I go to a big pond, ie U, I'll realise I'm just a small fish...

Haha...ok, whatever...I'm staying at TP, and that's my final decision.

xx

"I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best of advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite."
-G. K. Chesterton

Ah...that was first day criticism...2nd day was not that bad...but not that good idea...the games were ok (not exciting! ) and the school cheer, which we just learned today, is quite different but damn long 'cause it's a repeating cheer, and that's why I prefer SR's cheer too......and I realised the dance is not that bad lah...though I didn't bother learning it...like how the OGLs didn't bother teaching us the school song properly because they said that their OGLs didn't teach them properly either...so I didn't bother learning the college song lor...and I doubt I'll ever learn it since I hardly heard anyone singing the college song during morning assembly. All I heard was the music being played, and the music had no lyrics either...

And now I'm missing SR's college song. (Lead us all to glory...)

However, despite all that, I'm still staying at TPJC. I can't just judge how good it is by staying there for 2 days right...

Anyway, there's Smallville tonight! It's the only show I look forward to each week...yeah!

xx

Someone once told me the grass is much greener
On the other side
And I paid a visit (well, it's possible I missed it)
It seemed different, yet exactly the same (yeah, yeah, yeah)
'Til further notice, I'm in-between
From where I'm standing, my grass is green
Someone once told me the grass is much greener
On the other side.

~As told by Ginger

I might be appealing back into SR...I'll see what Abi and Lizhen say first...don't want to go appeal on my own...I miss SR...

TP's dance was dumb...the song and the dance does not go at all...don't they know how to pick proper songs? And the dance was...ah...I just think SR's dance is better. And there's hardly any spirit at all...I miss the three cheers for SR! Oo! Ah! Three cheers for SR! Oo! Ah! Three cheers for SR! Oo! Ah! And the Zeal, are you ready?! Abuden!

Oh, and I miss the raffles cheers too...I'll always miss them...the deep low voice...the spirit...the everything.

xx

A penny saved is ridiculous.

I miss you guys...I miss you guys so badly...I want to go back to rg...I want to see you all again...why must it be this way? I want to go back in time...see you people again...and work harder too...but I can't...


Tampiness Junior College.





Compare that with Raffles Junior College.





You should have worked harder, Munirah.

My youger sis, MJ, was sitting in front of the fish tank, with her hands inside it when she said, "Kak, come and look at the blood on my hands." I can't be bothered with her crap so I said, "WHat are you doing?" And she said, "Squeezing the baby fishes." Then I sreamed at her. Like, what's her problem? The thought is just too horrible...how could she even joke about such a thing??

By the way, only 3 baby goldfishes managed to survive...and they're still so teeny tiny...cutie...

Oh yar, I was at Perdaus and I heard people talking about those in Sec 5 getting U grades, and they talked about it like it's a normal thing, as if it happens everyday. Imagine if people in rgs got a U grade. It's up to the 15th storey and jumping down without a second thought...ok, maybe not that bad, but you know what I mean.

xx

"Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."

Who cares if I get into TJ?

Going to school and meeting my classmates were so fun I can't imagine meeting a whole new bunch of classmates next term. Though I'm still a little afraid I'll embarass myself in front of new people.

Why? Because people tend to assume your character by their first impression, like when M said E looks immature 'cause she laughs loudly, and E felt hurt and everything. But then...maybe this only happens in the top-5 schools where people are arrogant, and there are many cliques among them. Very unlike SR, where everyone's friendly and I don't alienate myself from certain people like I used to.

I'm lucky being in SR.

xx

"I wanted to talk," he said.

"An admirable goal," Draco commiserated. "Now all you need is someone to talk to. Don't let me hinder your quest." He turned away.

-DV

Damn it, I'll never get into TJ. What the hell was I thinking, putting it as my first choice??? I'll just end up in SR again, which is not that bad, actually pretty good. But then again, it is bad to end up in SR again...oh why oh why? I can be so stupid sometimes...

I hate this. I hate myself. But you know what? Since I can't kill myself, I have to find some other ways to deal with it. Damn.

DOn't even think that you can get into TJ, you good for nothing person you...

xx

"There is no doubt that life is given to us, not to be enjoyed, but to be overcome- to be got over." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

When I became the top student of my primary school four years ago, I was shocked, surprised and thought I was dreaming. It felt good hearing people congratulate me, so I decided that I'm going to work hard for my 'O' levels to get that top position again. Hah...look at me now.

Ya, sure I didn't score that badly, but it's not enough. It's just not enough. I don't get it...why is it that I can want something so so badly but I never bother working for it?

Getting B3 for Malay three times in a row...totally ludicrous...it's like I didn't put in any effort to improve at all...all I did was wasted time sitting for that bloody freaking paper again and again...and what if the same thing happens for my SATS?

And another B3 for my Chemistry...Mrs Tan must be very disappointed with me.

You know, I can forever warn myself about my SATS or whatever but in the end, I'll still slack...so why do I even bother?

xx

"Questioning the why's, wont's, and's, if's, or but's merely waste time. Whatever will happen, will happen."

It's been an exciting week, way too long to write down all the exciting things that happen. I love my life. I just hope others love theirs too. I need to go offline soon.

Oh wait, people's been saying I look and sound fierce 'cause I don't smile much. Well, I don't smile when there's nothing to smile about. But I definitely have to tone down a bit the way I talk.

And then there's the results...I WANT MY RESULTS NOW! I CANT STAND THE SUSPENSE ANY LONGER!

You know, I just can't decide if I should immediately run to the toilet after getting my results, or run straight home...to cry lah, then?

Finally, before I go offline, I have to again remind myself to STOP SLACKING AND DO MY WORK! You're As are in two years time, so please concentrate on your work.

Oh, I also want to say that I feel really really sorry for this guy. He is just so pathetic. I hope that when I said all those things, I didn't make him feel awkward or anything. Actually he's quite cute being pathetic...but then again...ok, nevermind. I'll just forget about this episode.

Ok, now I'll go offline.

xx

-Blonde joke. It's just a joke. Blondes are not stupid.-

A blonde went into a electronic store and she asked on of the staff how much a tv was. The staff said "sorry we dont sell to blondes." She went home and the next day she came back as a brunette. She asked one of the staff "how much is that tv?" He said "sorry we dont sell to blondes."
She went home. The next day, she came back as a red head and she asked one of the staff "how much is this tv? He said "sorry we dont sell to blondes." She said "I have come back here as a brunette and a red head, how did you know i was a blonde?" He said "I know because that is not a tv, that is a microwave."

My malay karangan is better than those two's? Hah! She even said I should join Perbayu under publications...ya right...

...Chemistry test...I haven't studied I haven't studied I haven't studied...how...such a slacker...

What's more they said that for the chem results the names of the top ten and the worst ten will be put up on the notice board...or something like that...hopefully it's just a rumour...

And I'm running out of quotes again...

xx

"The more you study the more you know. The more you know the more you'll forget. The more you forget the less you know. So why study?"

I need to stop being so "bloody proud". I have to start being modest. Actually I was just joking around lor...but some people just don't get the joke. Sigh...

Well, I totally slacked this week. I'm way behind since I haven't been reading up my lecture notes. I even fell asleep during lectures. Embarassing...it was not fun at all, slacking for the whole week then staying up late on Thursday just to do that silly pidato, which is for some competition...Plus Hawa, Ahmad and I will have to repeat our pidato on Monday because she said today's one was just practice...sigh...

I'm going to stop playing around and start getting serious. I do want to get those As. Must not forget my this year's resolution which is to never ever study last minute ever again. Focus. I will forever focus on my 3 As on that A-level certificate. I will walk out the school gate on graduation day with a smile on my face. I am going to be proud of myself. I will show Salman and I will make him ask, "What happened?" when I get my A-level result because I will get 3 As while he won't...well, he'll probably get 4 As but who cares. I'll still show him.

...must she really have "studYING" as her nick??? Make me feel so guilty...

Oh, I met Jw online and she wasn't exhilarated to be in Australia...you need to be more confident in yourself, you know. I get a little down many times too, but I always manage to move on...it's difficult but that's life. Things will improve...be patient...I always let time do its job...

{Happy Valentine's Day / Friendship Week everybody!}

xx

Every now and then
we find a special friend
who never lets us down,
who understands it all,
reaches out each time we fall.
You're the best that I have found!
I know that you can't stay,
but part of you will never fade away!
Youre heart will stay.

I'll make a wish for you and hope it will come true.
That life will be kind to such a gentle mind.
And if you lose your way, think back on yesterday, remember me this way!

-Casper

He's lowest grade for Maths is a B...a senior of mine...a B leh...can't believe he complained...well, maybe he was joking around but still...he's so guai! Gosh...

My lowest grade was like a what? D? E?

Well, I still got 28/30 for CMaths, but I was aiming for 30/30 lor...where could I have gone wrong? (they haven't returned us the papers yet)...I will kill myself for making such a careless mistake...the test was so simple kay...keep your ego down, Munirah.

And start studying for Chem!

xx

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. - Lucille S. Harper

Thanks for the birthday wishes everybody...I couldn't have had a better birthday :) Now all I have to do is wait another 364 days for my next birthday. Oh gosh, is it really three hundred and sixty-four days? I can't wait that long!

Haha...went to change my uniform with felisha from tks. She'll be wearing it tomorrow. I'm not wearing the tks one though, they say I look ugly in it...green is so not my colour. Well, I think uniform changing is ok, but I find it very disturbing when Kiat Boon wears my school badge. Oh my poor poor badge had to suffer the horror of being on a guy like him...And it was in such a shock that it got stuck to his shirt and won't come off when Boon wants it to! I do hope you're feeling better now badgie. Even though he wore my badge together with like 8 other badges from other schools (reminding me of my red cross uniform with all those badges), you don't deserve to get stuck to him like that...you poor little thing...ok Munirah, stop mentally stroking that badge and move on.

Heh, so...after changing uniform with her, we went for dinner at BK with the rocmoc people. It was ok, except the part when everybody was speaking in chinese and a senior was the one who noticed and told everyone to speak in English. Gosh, I feel so stupid as if I can't speak up for myself. Nice of him to notice though...whatever, it's just weird how I need to warm up first before I can speak to others fluently without hesitating. And I actually signed up to be OGL with the reason that I'm friendly and can help the people connect...hah, why do I crap about such things? And I've never had any great achievements in my life, except that I managed to enter rgs, and get stressed there lah...I hope they don't expect too much out of me because of me being from rg...

Well, from rg or not, we still have to do that pidato thing...I am so not in the mood for Malay now...and I want to go to sleep...

...Still wishing you don't have to go, jw...but I know you'll have fun there, so I shouldn't be wishing such things...

xx

I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it's not a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

What do you mean you're sorry? You made it for me and that's enough to make me proud of this template. It's nice and simple. I ment pathetic in other sense. They update theirs more often and they don't use perfect English like me (which makes theirs a little more lively) and they have links here and there and things like that. I tend to restrict myself when I write in my blog...editing here and there...afraid of saying the wrong things and stuff. I guess I'll be changing the template but not anytime soon...maybe like next year...and thanks for that birthday wish!

Anyway, I can't wait for Spiderman2 to come out! I find his relationaship with MJ just so touching...I watched the cartoon just now. He actually gave up being Spiderman because he accidentally killed his friend, Indu I think...how could he give up just like that?? But then everybody hates Spiderman because of that...especially PP's best friend Harry, who holds a grudge against Spiderman...sigh...

Ok, I'm going to play neopets now...don't remind me of that test...or that rocmoc pt session...both on my birthday...actually I can just skip that pt session...and miss out on all that exercise and pumpings? Nah..

xx

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

Edit here, edit there, edit, edit everywhere...

Okay...seeing my friends' blog makes mine look so pathetic. Whatever, not in the mood for this...maybe one day I'll change the template or something. Need to sleep now, so tired, so bored, need to get to my dream world...

xx

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me."

Been talking a lot about the O-level results. All my friends say I can get 6 points for sure. I wish. I better stop thinking that I will...then I would feel so crushed when I do get my results.

So yesterday I dreamt that I got my results already and I was running to the airport to give jiawen hers. Then I realised I got many A2s and I can't decide if I should stay at SR or not. You know, I'm starting to wish that I get 20 points for my Os, so that I do not need to make that decision on whether I should switch JC...

Rocmoc's the only thing that's making me feel like I should stay there. Ya, sure there are other JCs with rocmoc but the seniors will be different, the friends, the atmosphere...ok, I'll stop talking about this...I haven't even gotten my results yet...

xx

"Anyone who uses the phrase "Like taking candy from a baby", has never tried taking candy from a baby."

Eli wished me happy birthday! Haha...I can't help feeling so happy! But still...6 more days...6 more days for me, 7 more days for jw...this is so sad! I hate saying goodbye...

AND I'm not supposed to be here...got that gp essay to do...yucks...

Haha, I like this quote...

xx

Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm jus' honest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly (...) stupid.

I hate my life. Actually I don't. I just don't like it. Well, I do...sheesh, I had been so used to saying that I hate my life so whenever I get a little down I'll just say, "I hate my life." But I don't. I would never ever want my life to end...sigh...I'm crapping...so this entry will not make sense...hm...where should I start...that book that Shamiah gave me...it made me think bad thoughts...not bad lah, just silly 'cause...um...it's not really the thoughts that you think I'm thinking about but it's another kind of thoughts which is really ridiculous...then again I'm only at page 70...oh whatever...tests are coming up...I don't know how I'm going to study for Bio...how did I use to study for Bio huh? I forgot...that Chingay Parade being held this Saturday...I wish I had joined to become one of the motivaters...it would have been so much fun...only SRJCians are asked to be the motivators...I didn't join 'cause my friends didn't...I hate following my friends around...in the end they'll just leave you, right?...blah...Andrew...people find him irritating, 'cause he is...he's cute lah, but he's always putting himself in the spotlight, which is quite irritating, but it's not bad entertainment either...but seriously, must he really go up that bouldering wall halfway, holding on to the wall with one hand and do pull ups there? And that time when we had to do chin-ups for one of our stations during station games, he helped us by doing half the number of chin-ups that we had to do so we don't have to do that many...but I think he was just showing off...not that it's not nice of him...oh well...I can keep on talking about this guy forever...next wednesday...I might not be able to go for rocmoc! We're having sports carnival, which is not compulsory though I think I should go to support my class...but I really want to go rock climbing! It's not fair! Why must all the activities take place on Wednesday, then I can't go for my CCA? Not fair! Sigh...hmm...I wish Eli or someone would go online and chat with me...I don't like to be alone...why Eli think she's irritating huh? If she thinks she's irritating, then won't I be irritated by her? Am I making sense? Nope...I'll just...clean up my room now...again...Munirah, please stop messing up your room...

xx

A gurgle of laughter emerges from my mouth. "Do you ever look anything less than perfect, Geraldine?"

Geraldine flicks her hair back and says, "Believe me, I look a mess, " but she's please because, like all girls who are perfectly groomed, below the perfection is a writhing mass of insecurity, and she like to hear that she's beautiful. It helps to her believe it.

I dreamt that Maria Ho actually came down during one of my lectures and scolded me for not paying attention. I got so angry that I wrote "I hate Maria Ho" all over my lecture notes and even broke my pencil in half...then later she asked me to see her after lesson and I remembered putting a pencil in my pocket so that I can break it later...

But the point is that I don't take Physics right now. Did the dream mean that the Cambridge people over at UK were marking my physics paper at that moment and I did so badly I got a D? Then why else would I suddenly dream about Physics? My results are going to be so bad, I just know it! Did I tell you...we were playing tarot cards during one of the free periods in school and my cards said that I'm facing destruction and might be facing it again...it could mean my O-levels results! Or it could have passed when my female albino hamster, Snowy, died 'cause it means my hamsters can't breed anymore...But it's still so scary! Ok, I'm not supposed to believe in tarot cards...bad bad Munirah...better forget about them...

Still...how are my results going to be? I don't think I can wait for another 2 whole months...my dreams would go haywire by then! (If it's true reality and dreams connect in that way...) Why oh why? I think about this everytime I've got nothing to think about...maybe that's why I need school so badly...to forget about all this...but at least I've got something to look forward to...

Sunday better come quick.

xx

Barbossa: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: You're welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Are you serious? He actually asked about me? HAHA! Well, of course he would. I did get the highest aggregate in his primary school...that reminds me...I haven't told Mrs Krishnan where I am yet...don't know when I'm going to...so anyway, do dreams and reality really connect in some way...'cause I was wondering why I dreamt about him and maybe it was just a coincedence that he asked about me at that time...haha! But what did he mean by "What happened?"? What about him huh? I heard he got almost the same aggregate as me what!

Gosh, is it that embarrassing to be in SRJC? I love it there! Ok, maybe it it cannot produce many people with 4 distinctions (hopefully I won't be one of them) but I'm still considering to stay...it's that great! And I met cute people too...and even joined rocmoc! I wouldn't have joined it if I were in Victoria, then I wouldn't have met all those nice but chiobu seniors...a lot of things might not have happened...

Oh well. We were supposed to introduce another person during malay class and my friend who introduced me said that I am a very responsible and confident person...seorang yang sugguh tanggungjawab dan yakin dalam diri sendiri...hearing it in malay really made it sound so...woah! Gosh...I was like trying to deny it kay...hah...imagine me being confident in myself...

Well, I'm a weird person. I'll start getting sick of school soon...I hope not...

Anyway, I'm going to watch Princess Diaries this Sunday! We better do...it's something I'm really looking forward to...other than meeting my RG friends of course...

But that question..."What happened?" Yes, Munirah, what happened? You've been avoiding that question since you got your Prelim results...the question people asked me and will continue asking...but then I do know what happened...just that everytime I think of it, I get this great feeling of terror that it will happen again...where will I go after I get my Os results? Even if I make it to the top 5, will it do me any good if I go there, or will I get the same fate as when I went RG? But if I don't, will I regret staying in SRJC and get not that many distinctions? The questions just keep coming...argh!

xx

All the cruelty and torment of which the world is full is in fact merely the necessary result of the totality of the forms under which the will to live is objectified. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Yeah, I went bouldering today! It is a part of rocmoc where you climb low, inclined walls without ropes, but there's mattress below lah. Only 4 who wanted extra training came...it's great! I just find rock climbing so fun! I kept thinking about it during tutorials...not really lah, but I did miss it. I just want to continue climbing! But then I need lots of rest after climbing because my arms will be totally exhausted.

Lalala...HAPPY NEW YEAR everybody! Have a great year of the monkey!

xx

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

I find this so funny. Or at least I found it funny when the ustaz said it:

4 cara untuk masuk syurga tanpa bersolat/berpuasa/etc: -
1. Makan rezeki yang tidak diberi oleh Allah.
2. Tinggal di planet yang tidak dimiliki Allah.
3. Pergi ke tempat yang tidak diketahui Allah.
4. Jadi orang gila.

Quite interesting really...hehe...

Anyway, both my arms are aching from yesterday. I can't bathe properly 'cause I can't reach behind my back. My arms hurt if I do.

Oh, a mistake in my post before: I actually haven't read DV10 and DV13. My younger sister have read DS13 already. I really want to read but I get attracted to neopets whenever I come online...

I've got to go and collect my new pair of spectacles later (it's red this time!), but I haven't finished my tutorials yet...so I might not pick it up today after all.

xx

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
-Henny Youngman (1906-1998)

My primary school friend, Rena, actually saw my elder sister and her boyfriend holding hands! And my sister is totally denying it. Although last time, my aunts have seen them holding hands too. I can't believe her! My sister and her boyfriend must not see each other or they'll do stupid things for sure! Then again, I must not believe that my sister is that low...

Oh well, it's her problem.

Hmm...Eli sms me like everyday before and after school. It is so nice of her! We'll wish each other good morning then ask about the day at school and I find this kind of conversations very sweet...except that I have gone over the number of sms I'm supposed to have for one month...so now each sms will cost 5 cents more...oh dear...

xx

"Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon."

Today had been a great day! I didn't know I could make so many friends in one day! I had rocmoc (rock and mountain climbing I think) orientation today. The station games were tough because we had to do like 39 push ups / sit ups at each station. But actually...I kinda miss those trainings 'cause we used to do them in red cross.

Other than station games, we get to climb the rock wall! I managed to reach all the way to the top twice, but I didn't have enough strength to complete the inclined one, where the wall is horizontal...and all the grips there are not nice to hold, so we need lots of arm strength. I don't know how I'm going to survive for the trainings, which I heard they had to climb up and down the wall ten times...actually I'm not sure if I can manage to stay in rocmoc 'cause there'll be a trial where some will get kicked out 'cause there's just too many recruits this year.

My school work, though, is not doing too good. I'm falling behind already in my tutorials...almost half my class have done them but I haven't. I must I must be disciplined and do my work! I must not sleep when I reach home from school 'cause I can't wake up for sure.

Talking about sleep, I dreamt about Salman two days ago. We were supposed to be at this gathering in Malaysia and he came. But when he reached there he left almost immediately and I got angry that he did. Haha. Whatever...I just haven't dreamt about him for a long time and I don't know why he suddenly came into my dreams. Haha!

Hmm...my younger sister though, seems to be feeling something for this guy called Shawn...oh well. I don't know much about that actually...hehe...

I better go do my tutorial now.

And I can't wait for the 31st!

xx

"You know, Draco," Hermione said, looking wearily at the fair-haired boy in the infirmary bed, "sometimes you make it awfully difficult."

"To resist my manly charms? Yes, I know," said Draco

~DT

Why do I keep changing my guestbook images? I always think the newest is nicer than the last...ok whatever.

Smallville is on now, on one of those Indonesian channels...sctv or something...

And my sis keeps saying she wants to use the computer...oh like I'd let her do that just so she can play pool with her bf...hahaha...I'm not unsupportive or anything, I'm just sick of hearing her mushy mushy words with her bf everytime they call each other.

The discipline teacher told us a story on how a boy in school was eating his noodles when suddenly an extra ingredient fell into it from the sky...bird poop. Nice. Then he mentioned how he wanted us to be disciplined and disnified people when we walk out the school gate on our graduation day...like hello, only first 10 days and you already talk about graduation day?

Hehe...I joined many CCAs...Tarian, ODAC, Rock and Mountain Climbing, and Heritage Club...gonna quit some...haha

Ok, my sis will kill me.

Oh, don't you love rainbows? My little sister was talking about a rainbow she saw in school the other day...she was so excited...don't know why...haha...Asperger's Syndrom...??

xx

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?" -Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

I'm assistant civics tutor rep, aka vice-chairperson of class, 'cause not many volunteered. I was so nervous when I was supposed to give that 30 second speech.

Why in the world did I just receive a hyper magazine from Ngee Ann Poly?

Oh well. Saturday gone...at least 3/4 of it...I don't know why I keep counting down like that.

Maybe 'cause my birthday is in 30 days time? Seriously, am I suffering from Asperger's Syndrome? I'm way overexcited about my birthday, and I have no idea why.

I'm kinda in a group of friends now, which Serene called G4. They are Serene, Danying and Yue Lian. Nice friends.

I like Serangoon JC a lot. I mean, it rocks! Firstly, the teachers are very caring and most of their speeches keep me awake in the hall...except for the principal's talk. And she knows her voice makes us go to sleep so she usually keep her talks short. Secondly, the students that come in are from a variety of schools, so the parade square is very colourful in the morning, and I doubt RJ and VJ is the same. Meridian aint very popular either. I heard the people there are unfriendly, and when my friend tried to appeal in, the teacher was like, "Did you know MJ's standard has risen up to 16 points?" I heard their principal is biased too. Although SRJC kinda accept the extras like us ('cause all those in my class had 20 points for L1R5), it's not that bad. I really feel like staying here. What's more we are now going through a little of the Sec 4 syllabus, so if I move to another school, it would be hard for me to catch up. I'm actually planning to move to Tampiness, but I have no idea how it's like there and I don't want to regret when I do move.

Why am I talking about this? There's still two more months to go.

I hate it when my mum sighs in front of me. I really didn't do anything. I mean, I didn't scream or shout at her, which is not easy. Whenever I feel like screaming, I'll lock myself in my room. So why must she sigh like that?

I wish I'm not so gloomy. I kinda get gloomy whenever I reach home...maybe because of my family? Though I'm not sure why. I like school. For now lah. Before the load of homework and the projects start. Friends are great. They make my day. And I can't wait to go over and watch Princess Diaries! I've got to go to my grandma's place now (father's side). We seldom go over there. I don't want to go there. But I have to. So I might as well make the best of it...though I better quickly eat dinner now so my mum won't shout again...actually she don't shout. She just speak in that demanding voice making me feel like a bad bad girl. Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.

xx

"One out of every four Americans is suffering from some mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

Issit true? It's a joke, right?

Stupid blogger doesn't work. Oh well. Shamiah said to post for myself, not for others, so I will, although I have another blog for that.

Anyway, I realised I sound very horrible on my last post. I should be glad that I actually manage to enter a JC. I'm still the smartest in my family, since my little sister wants to go poly. And who cares if they say "waaaah..." when I say I'm from RGS, 'cause at least it seems to be less stressing than RJ, since I actually leave school at 1 instead of 6. And I even don't need to see all those faces I hate so much...I get to make new friends! Sigh, I don't really hate them. I'm just uncomfartable with them as well as all those bad memories...oh well...

I've been listening to the ROTK soundtrack and I just love it! Buying my first soundtrack is so exciting! Well, it'll probably be my last one too, since my parents don't like me to spend my money like that...but maybe I'll get the seventh HP movie one...I hate saying goodbye...and everything end just like that...

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come
To carry you home
~Into the West, ROTK soundtrack

Sigh...that reminds me. I really really want to watch the Princess Diaries movie...if I ever get the urge to go and rent it or something...and Munirah, will you please stop messing up your room so you don't have to clean it up? Thank you.

Oh, a reminder for me: Red Cross Talentime 2004 will be held at Ulu Pandan CC, which is near Holland Rd, and is this coming Sunday and next Sunday.

xx

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

1st day of school gone. Orientation was so boring that I'm looking forward to that slow dance we are going to learn on Monday. The principal was like saying that we should make our three months here the best, since she knew most of us didn't put SRJC as our first choice. I mean, duh. Who would want to go to Serangoon huh? It's my 5th choice for goodness sake! I so can't wait for the first three months to be over.

Boring principal talk, boring discipline head talk, who said discipline=care, boring ice-breakers, or should I say ice-breaker, since we only played one game? The only exciting thing? When aeroplanes fly past the building. I counted five I think. I didn't know the airport was so near, 'cause the aeroplanes were very noisy. At least it ended at 1p.m., and we were all somehow exhausted by then. Hmph. And the reason the principal said was that she didn't want us to go home tired, but happy. Oh, she also mentioned that she didn't want us to go home at one but to walk around the school and talk to the teachers or JC2s...whatever...like I have no one to 'walk around' with?

I didn't like have a partner 'cause we were sitting in two lines and somehow the girls end up at the front while the guys at the back. Every girl had a partner but me...why must they have an uneven number of girls?? So anyway, I sat with a guy, who didn't even make a conversation with me, so I just sat there quietly. What's more we were sitting for a whole half hour waiting and waiting, doing nothing at all. Sigh.

I did miss the rgs air-conditioned hall though. I'm not dependant on air-con, but it's still very sad...and noisy. Not because the JC2s were noisy but because the fans were. And I miss sitting at the front too 'cause since from sec 1 to 4 I have been sitting at the front...

There was also one cheer where they copied the raffles one. Ok, I think raffles copied too but still...the one which goes
north-south-east-west who's the best? R-A-F-F-L-E-S!
sounds nicer than
north-south-east-west who's the best? SRJC is the best!
right???

But the orientation shirt was nice. And we got a metal waterbottle too, plus a file and a towel and a pen which does NOT WORK! Sigh...

Ya, there was one rgs girl but she's not in my OG. She was from 404, which I vaguely remembered hearing many from there got above 20 points. Oh well.

That's it for my 1st day. Thrilling, huh?

xx

"It's not that I wish any harm to the guy, I'm just saying I could happily sit by while someone knocks his head off."

I am really worried. I was excited at first but now I'm worried.

I'm afraid if I'll embarass myself or make myself look stupid. Like that time in OBS when I actually volunteered to be in charge of something, the raft-building I think. I don't know why I did that but I ended up making people irritated 'cause I didn't contribute much, didn't take note of the the time, and didn't help them come to a solution or something like that. What if I do that again?

Then in OBS I also did that stick-to-someone thing like I did with Liyana. I don't know whether I annoyed the person for following her around wherever she goes, but if I did, gosh did I look stupid!

I really want to look forward to the orientation, but I don't know...there are also the boys and I must be prepared to be holding hands with them or lying on them or something, like the ones in the pictures of orientation shown. Maybe it's only in rj but then...sigh, I bet most don't even think of this.

Right, Munirah. You must not irritate or annoy people, although I've been trying hard not to since I was born. But then I still did it, like the time I kept pestering Eunice for the lotr vcd...

Why must I only remember the bad memories and not the good ones? Why am I so worried over this? I was so worried about my Os but yet I didn't do anything about it. Maybe it's because I'm worried and ignorant at the same time. But really...you'd think someone who worries so much might actually be so careful that she does a very good job at everything. Like how you'd think a quiet person like me might actually be smart, listening to the lessons instead of talking so much. But guess what? Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam besi berkarat. I'm the 'besi'.

...Maybe I should be more confident, you know? Instead of being so worried and distressed...

xx

"If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it."

I haven't been online much these days because my younger sister keeps using it, and for what? To read Draco Trilogy. Ya, sure it's fun and everything, hearing her laugh and recalling all the funny parts of the story, but really, it's getting a bit irritating 'cause she won't let me use the computer! And then there's my older sister who keeps wanting to play bloody pool with her boyfriend online. I can't use the computer peacefully without having them standing behind me and casting shadows over the screen. Then there's my mother who has just finished her computer course and wants to use it too! I so want a labtop of my own...

Then again, why am I complaining when I won't be doing anything usefull online? Not that I'd be doing anything usefull offline...

Except maybe staring at my fishes. Ok, it's not useful, but it's pretty interesting...somehow. I didn't know feeding fishes can be so fun. I mean, I can sit in front of the fish tank for a whole half an hour. Actually only about 15 minutes staring at the goldfishes, then 10 minutes staring at the lohan, then another 5 minutes staring at the baby goldfishes.

Yap, my goldfishes laid eggs again, and so we moved them to a new tank and now they've hatched! I didn't really count but I think it's about 15-20 babies. So cute!

I wish my caterpillars would start appearing again though. I guess it's not mating season for the butterflies...

At least I passed my Perdaus.

But the three resolutions for next year? Hah. Resolution no. 2)Never ever mess up my room ever again. I must always pick up after myself. Hah! My room is quite messy now. I tried cleaning it up but it still looks pretty bad. I spend like half the holidays cleaning up my room and it's still messy. Ok, I'm exagerating, but it really is. I wish I make better use of my time...

Well, Shamiah's holidays have been rather fruitfull. Mine haven't. All I did was play Monopoly with my sisters (which my older sister keeps asking for breaks so she can call her boyfriend, and she's the banker too). Then next week is Christmas and my family will be at Malaysia from Wednesday to Saturday night. Then school starts.

I really should start doing something.

xx

"From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it."

Chandler-Donald Duck: from the Friends show. I got it online actually. So cute right?

So anyway, Saddam's captured. I got interested in what others have got to say:

"they should use him for nuclar practice
After all, there is only one country in the world that has deliberately killed people with nuclear weapons...usa usa usa usa..."

and then the arguments start:

"Why would they need a dictatorship in the us? The big corporations and the rich have figured out how to run things while keeping the facade of a "democracy". A neat trick..."

"And if the us is so against dictatorships, why are they allies to saudi arabia? Why did the us help overthrow the elected government in chile and replace it with...a dictatorship? Why doesn't the us go into sudan, burma, north korea, or any of the other countries where the government abuses its people (could it be because of a lack of oil?)"

"If bush attacked all terrorist countrys, he wouldn't be attacking iraq, but instead he would attack the U.S. But his "war on terrorism" isn't going to include the U.S just like everything else. Thats why the U.N is getting mad at the U.S."

"You want to know what I think? I think Bush had already gotten Saddan a long time ago but never said that so he could keep playing the world-savior-hero. Now that reelections time is coming he simply take Hussein out of his hat an present it to his people againg trying to play the "big boss" "

but I like this one:

"If Al Gore was in there would have been no Golf war 2! Where did this Iraq thing come from? Bush probably woke up one morning and said. War"

then there are the sad stories on the war:

"i hated it because my dad went but omg hes comein home he'll be here in 3 days i just heard from my mom yehh"

"I will honestly pity my brother, if the whole war does turn out to be for oil. The only thing that keeps him going over there is the thought that he is making a differance to the Iraqi people. He sent me a picture just a few days ago, of a little Iraqi girl hugging him. He wept over that.
I don't agree with the war. but I will defend my brother. Some say he is the equivilant of a terrorist,but..."

Sigh...got all these from the Neopets chat boards. I don't know what to say really.

xx

Maybe this world is another planet's hell. - Aldous Huxley

My mum...I went to McDonalds to eat with her today, and when she finished, she pour out the ice from the cup and washed her hands with them right there. Embarassing! Ok, there wasn't really that many people there 'cause it's still early, but still, there's the toilet, you know. And what's the tissue for?

Sheesh...anyway, I found out from Voyage to the Future that there is about 7 trillion calories of food that the earth can offer. And they calculated that at Singapore's average consumption of calories, the earth can only support 5.3/5.4 billion people instead of 6.3 billion people (the current earth population). That's only Singapore. Other countries like India's rate of consumption can support more people.

Anyway, the point is that we in Singapore should consume less. Like, hello? I'm a bit underweight and they are still expecting me to eat less? I hardly even eat breakfast these days, 'cause my mum hardly cooks. So it's not my fault if the earth's food supply is totally over-consumed, issit?

I sound like Mia Thermopolis in the Princess Diaries...except that I'm not doing anything about it.

Guilt?

xx

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa

17th Dec...5 more days...TTT...then there's the results for the JCs...I keep thinking I might just end up with my 12th choice or something...and that's the Arts stream! Well, I difinitely can't get my 1st choice...sigh...anyway, when my aunts & uncles visited me, they did ask whether I can enter JC or not...luckily I can...imagine if I had to say no...

When my aunt and uncle visited yesterday, somehow we happened to talk about getting jobs. They said when getting a job, it's not about making money. The three things you have to consider is
1) Can you manage it?
2) Do you like it?
3) What is you're contribution to the community?
So really, all the time I thought making money is the most important factor...that's what my mum had been saying since young, to be a doctor so that we can become rich and live in a bungalow blahblahblah. But then being a doctor also doesn't mean we'll be rich. Only specialists are the rich ones. Even if I do want to become a doctor, they said being a malay would affect me too. There was one malay who applied to become one and his parents were also interviewed, not only him alone. I'm not sure about that though.

One relative of mine who had a pilot's degree couldn't get the job as he was taught overseas or something. It is important that we follow the institutions that the goverment approve to get that pilot's degree to become a pilot.

What job am i going to get? What does my future have in store for me? I guess the only thing I can do now is to study study study. I'll have to compete against those from China, US and other foreigners, so I have to work hard. Like what Jaime said, Let's work hard. And Liyana and I promised each other to study extra hard in JC, so I will.

I'm just scared. What if I make all this promises and in the end, I don't keep them? Like how I promised to work hard when I found out I was going to RGS four years ago, and yet I didn't? Why must time fly so fast? Almost half of December is gone and soon...soon...well, you know, JC...

xx

Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I? -- Lockhart

"the trees are all cut down :( those across the road from my estate. all just to build the new mrt line and interchange. i can see the devastation from here. it hurts."
I almost cried. I didn't even see the devastation and I almost cried...It kind of hurts me...I'm torn between the fact that we have to develop, and the fact that the trees are all dying! It's not fair! Those poor trees...and imagine the squirrels in those trees. I mean, if you look outside the window of some of the classrooms in RGS, you can see one or two squirrels running up the tree trunk! If one tree is a home to one squirrel, how many squirrels have died in the building of the new mrt line and interchange??? ...Argh! I can't help it!

Sigh...

Sigh...

Life is not fair...

Sigh...

Get over it Munirah.

...okaaay...

Well, my Perdaus exams are over. Finally! I think I'm going to fail again, like I did last year. You know what? I'm going to make three new resolutions for next year:
1) Never ever study last minute ever again.
2) Never ever mess up my room ever again. Must always always pick up after myself.
3) Never ever miss any solat ever again.
I've never really made new year resolutions. Even if I did, it was one just for the sake of it, knowing I'll never keep to it. This time, it's sirius. I mean, serious.

"Flies, Padfoot. Flies." I keep writing that phrase just to keep Sirius alive. I'm nuts.

It's not even 17th Dec & I'm already thinking of the new year...2004...wow...soon, I'll be writing this: 9th February 2004. 63 more days!

But first, there's 17th Dec. I really want to know when my results are coming out. And of course, The Return of the King.
I also want to know my Perdaus results. The sooner I know I fail, the better...I think.

I better go finish up Princess Diaries and return them to Shamiah when she gets back...

And Shamiah, I actually meant quotes for the bottom of each of my entry, not hp quotes!

xx

Chandler: "You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"

So my Hari Raya's not bad...except that my room's in a mess. I keep telling myself to clean up once I reach home but...well, you know...I count money instead...

$212!!!

Oh why am I so horrid? So money-minded? So thrifty? So filial? Actually not so...

My little sister is reading OotP now, saying, "Ever since I read the part Sirius died, I feel like killing whoever who wrote this book." She also mentioned she felt like screaming like I did when I read that part...lol...

Oh, now she is looking for some batteries I left in my room...which is totally impossible to find looking at the mess...

Then now she's given up, telling me to look for them later, which is a waste of breath...

And now she plans to watch HP and the Sorceror's Stone...at 1.24 AM...

Btw, I found a whole lot of quotes too...they're all over the net!

...Dudley's running up n down the stairs! Haha! THat is so stupid..."Wake up , Potter!"...Daniel looked so cute!! I mean baby-cute!

..."Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"...heh...

xx

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

My sister thought NYJC is New York JC...the younger one...smart right?

I'm running out of quotes!!!

xx

"If you fall off a cliff, you might as well try to teach yourself to fly on the way down."

I definitely need to look for better quotes...and yes, I'm counting down to my b-day!!! Haha!!! I'm going nuts...it's really HaRi RaYa!!! You can just here the songs over the radio and get all excited!! Haha!! And eli got a new handphone and she was so excited sms-ing everybody...just like me when I got mine! Haha!! eli's so damn cute...in school just now she was like, " Eh, tomorrow is Hari Raya...Selamat Hari Raya!" And I got this warm feeling of gratefullness and happiness...and...
...
And the music just stopped...my father's still repairing the radio...sigh...
...
Ok, music's back!
...
So anyway, she just said it in this cute way you know...of course, jw remembered too and she said it in her own cute way...haha...I'm seriously going nuts...and at 6.47p.m., eli messaged me with 'selamat hari raya' n then the 'bang' rang n the whole situation was just...you know, you here the bang then a chinese person sms-ed you exactly when Hari Raya starts...ok...whatever...haha...
...
Sigh, you know something else? I know I have gotten over the fact that I'm going to miss all my friends ('cause I kept dreaming about you people and that has stopped) and I thought I have gotten over the feeling of fear over the 'O's but just yester day I had a dream. It was Geo exam and I haven't studied a single thing...everybody around me was so confident and I acted like I was confident too, when actually I really wanted to read through my Geo file...it was SO scary! I don't know why...but then, I didn't really study for the actual thing...but anyway, when my sis woke up, she was asking me, "What happens if you really did fail you're O-levels?" And that was yesterday. She reapeated the same question today! Umm...that's actually yesterday, since it's past 12midnight now (which means it's officially HaRi RaYa). So then my sis was saying like how she actually thought she was going to fail her Os when she took it...sigh, I can't tell you how much I felt like killing her...it was just so frightening, when you're own family members don't believe in you...other than the fact that I just want to get my Os done and over with.

But hell, like I'm really going to worry about that? 'Cause I have other things to worry about, like how Meridian's cut-off point is 19 last year, while my current aggregate is 20 ('cause I'm going for the science stream)...I'm still going to put it as my first choice though...but hell again, 'cause I'm not going to worry about that either...

It's HaRi RaYa! Then it's aLmA mAtA! Although I'm not sure whether to be excited over that...Maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I happen to hurt any of you and was too ignorant to realise that...

xx

Last night I dreamed about being carried off by a giant squirrel...does that make me a nut??

Fluffy Mathematics! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Shamiah thought F-Maths stands for Fluffy Mathematics! Ha! I can't stand it! Imagine mathematics being fluffy! Unless we are talking about Hagrid's Fluffy, of course. Haha!

And whoever's taking econs, take a look at the topics:
1. The Central Problem of Economics
2. Resource Allocation - Individuals and Markets
3. Resource Allocation - Firms and Markets
4. Market Failure and Government
Microeconomic Policy
5. The Macro-economy
6. Theory of Income and Employment
Determination
7. The Main Macro-economic Problems
8. Macro-economic Policies
9. International Trade

::vomits blood::

Anyway, so far, I'm considering taking triple science, chem+phy+FM, or chem+bio+econ...but then I need an A2 for AM to get FM, & B3 for all sciences to get triple science (only for MJC, of course)...so basically I'm dead.

xx

"what's c and f stand for? f? fluffy?" ~ my friend.

I'm in a very very bad mood. And my family's not helping...It sucks being stuck with your family for a whole day when I'm in a bad mood. I wish I can just scream at them but I can't 'cause it's not their fault. It's just me waking up on the wrong side of the bed...

And there's just so many things to clean! I don't know which notes to keep & which to throw away. If I throw away, my mum will keep asking me whether my little sis can use it in the future...happens every year...& my sis ain't helping either, shouting at me like that...

xx

This is so bloody boring. It’d be more exciting just to go to bed. ~ Days of our lives

Have anybody ever heard of flying rods? (www.flyingrods.com) I just heard it from my sister who heard it from TV. I still don't know what to make of it, nor do I know what to mak of the Loch Ness monster, Big foot or UFOs. Maybe they are there & we are not supposed to know...so I guess I'll pretend I don't. Of course, if we were in the Matrix, they could probably be a glitch or a virus...that is a much easier explanation.

xx

"Are we real or just a part of the Matrix?"

"I hate my sister. Idiot stupid person. I hate her." ~ my sister's blog

My sister hates me. I think everybody hates me. I've just been very ignorant, that's all. Lucky me. Going around the house & acting like an idiot...never realising I'm really irritating them. I always thought they knew I'm kidding around...I guess I better stop it, huh? Stop irritating people, start treating them like I want them to treat me...maybe help them with the housework...clean up the table after they eat...massage their backs...

Ok, I've really got to go. There's so many things to do...so many things to clean, so many things to find out, so many books to read...

Oh, I've watched Matrix Revolutions & it wasn't that bad what...its the ending to a trilogy! What did they expect? Actually I dont understand the ending...

xx

"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train that's going to squash you flat." ~ DT...?

I got my dates for my Perdaus exams wrong…its on the 6th…more time to study…right…

…I keep imagining myself getting my results & realising I can’t get into the science stream...but that’s the better part. The worse part is not being accepted into JC. THEN I’ll have to go to poly & take bio tech, which my sister suggested...she also mentioned taking bio tech is just as good as going to JC…sigh…

...how could I have let them down? I died for my O-levels. I could have done much better but I didn’t. I took things for granted & wasted my 4 years here. I don’t deserve anything right now…

I’m regretting, I know, something which everyone have been telling me to avoid…I just want to forget about my ‘O’s. Forget about my whole life in rgs, being surrounded by all the smart people but never learning anything from them. But you know what I’m more afraid of? I’m afraid that I forget to regret. Then waste my next 2 years…again…

Gawd, I sound like an idiot.

xx

"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer." ~ Agent Smith

Ok, before I don't come online until the 27th, I've got this to say: I've heard everything about Matrix Revolution from my elder sis. And...I'm not gonna say much, but then I guess everybody's heard, the plot aint that cool, 'cause I expected better. How uncool is it? It's how in Matrix, Trinity kissing Neo & resurrecting him. And how in Matrix Reloaded, Neo pulling out the bullet from Trinity. That's how uncool it is. But hell. Maybe those who haven't watch it should try not to expect anything. It's not a stupid show nor is it great. Decide that after you watch it. Heh. Neo...what can I say about Neo...he is one freaking dude.

So now, I have to depend on the actions & animations now to ensure that I get some excitement from watching Matrix Reloaded.

Let's hope lotr3 & hp3 is better...but then there are critics for every movie.

xx

"Yeah. Free my mind. Right. No problem." ~ Neo

My Malay paper was easy. And I'm even more scared. 'Cause if I don't get an A1...that shows how stupid I am...

Anyway, I'm not ever going online again till the 18th...actually it should be the 27th, 'cause my Perdaus Paper is on the 26th...I think...so that means I have to write my animal story some other time...

xx

Don't Quit! ~ from the Chicken Soup for the Soul

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When stress is pressing down on you,
Rest if you must - But don't you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, tho' the pace seems slow. -
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint & faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he captured the victors cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was, to the golden crown.

Success is a failure turned inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And your can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst you mustn't quit.

After school. Everybody's gone. Switch off the lights closest to the windows (lest reflection on the glass). Switch off the air-con (to be environmentally friendly...no lar just cold)...& finally sitting down at the teacher's table to use the computer...actually the computer's not the teacher's table. It's beside it. How come this table has never been called the computer table? Err...anyway, just saying I won't be doing this next year...

Muthu haven't replied for some months because he got an accident! Or was he just sick? Sigh...just thinking...if our penpals suddenly got into an accident & died (touch wood), we would never ever know he'd dead. All we'd know is he had stopped replying to our emails. When actually he can't do that because he's wiped from the surface of the earth. Scary.

xx

"Don't let your mind wonder. It's much too small to be off onits own anyway."

Quacksquacksquacks. I'm online again. This time, I'll talk animal talk. Moomoo. Oinkoink. Chirpchirp. Baabaa. RoarRoar. Wolfwolf. Miowmiow...miaomiao? Squeek...ok my spellings are getting worse.

xx

"I rule an Empire in Cyberspace called Internet."

I can't even watch Days of Our Lives in peace! I'm nuts. I'm stupid. Ayah keeps telling me to stop going online / watching tv & start studying but the more he says that, the more I don't want to study... & that is wrong! Argh! I hate him! I hate my mum too! I hate it when she comes into my room while I'm studying. Like this morning when I was studying & ibu woke up to eat sahur & she comes into my room & asked me if I've eaten & I felt this surge of anger...what is wrong with me? I don't hate them...

...

I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...

...

Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.

xx

"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

I thought I lost my graduation ring...& I thought that's pretty horrible...but then my sis found it in the washing machine...& now it's scratched & all...-sniff.sniff-

I actually planned the things I'm gonna do after 'O's:
- bathe 2x a day (+brushing teeth)
(these days I bathe once in two days...)
- mengaji everyday
- start jogging again (weekly)
- wash dishes, throw the garbage, sweep/vacuum the floor, etc...(& hopefully get $$ too)
- actually *learn* to cook
- start reading mly & el newspaper
- read newsweek
- buy national geographic (if parents let me...$$?)
- &, the best of all, go library everyday!
- of course, there's also THE MATRIX, RETURN OF THE KING & HP PoA!
- pLuS HaRi RaYa!!!

But there are still people taking exams after 'O's, like xiao tian taking some Jap exam after Alma Matta, & me taking my religious class exams after HaRi RaYa...oh well...I know that every beginning has an end (y must Sirius die???) but exams definitely defy that.

Lalala...what was tt quote? "You may have missed the beauty of the morning, but do not miss the evening dew." (Hollond V) I hate that stupid WanWan. Who does she think she is? How come she thinks all the guys she choose for her sisters are the 'right' ones? And poor Xiong ge! How could she leave him like that? Btw, I like Yanyan's attitude. If I were in that family, I would be Yanyan. Definitely NOT RouRou...can't even fight a guy like Tianxiang...oh whatever. &...does 7-eleven really sells condoms? My sister was asking...

Then there's Salman who went to VJC(?) with his Josephian of the Year Award & his sportings talents...Shamiah's stressed having such a perfect cousin. While I am just trying to forget him...he has a girlfriend anyway(?)...

About my studies, I've got this to quote: "The first award spurred me on to go for the 2nd & 3rd award."
And this to say: "How come I never get spurred on by anything?"

xx

Fact: Coffee is the 2nd most widely traded commodity in the world, with oil ranked first and steel third.

What if, someone was depressed, and you were happy. You smiled at the person, talking merrily & laughing like nuts, but the person did not say anything. So then you get a little down-hearted & walked away. When in actual fact, the person felt very much happier than before. But you didn't know that. So you felt sad for the rest of the day. What a great sacrifice for a sad friend, don't you think? It's like some of the person's feelings enter you while some of your better feelings go away...oh, whatever. I guess this only happens to poor old me, huh?

xx

"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive anyway."

Excuse me but..."going to different institutions"? Of course I'm going to different institutions from the rest of the rgs population! This may be very negative of me, but I am just not meant to be in rgs in the 1st place.

Whatever. Take this extremely funny conversation between my friend & Mr Lui.

Ring, ring…
Lui : Hello? Georgia?
Georgia: (just woken up) Hello…
Lui : Georgia, this is Kenneth Lui speaking.
Georgia: WHAT Lui?!
Lui : Mr Kenneth Lui. *Anyway*, there’s Amaths remedial class today.
Georgia: There is?! But there can’t be!
Lui : There is. (He said with a final tone)
Georgia: But…my friend (forgot who) said she’s not coming today.
Lui : Yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come.
Georgia: But…I just woke up. (still sleepy enough not to come up w/ a better reason)
-long pause-
Lui : Can you get ready & come down *now*.
Georgia: (finally woken up) Oh, I have tuition later.
-longer pause-
Lui : Ok, can you come down tomorrow?
Georgia: But Mr Lui! Tomorrow is Deepavali! It’s not me, but I do not want to trouble you or anything, making you come down just for me especially on a holiday when you should be taking a rest with your family…etc, etc.
Lui : Oh, alright, come down on Saturday then. There’s a mock exam from 8 to 12 at 404 classroom.
Georgia: Err…okay…
-conversation end-

Heh, more quotes...btw, I found out the quote abt strapping toast on the back of a cat was originally made by Steven Wright.

xx

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.

Thx, Jia Wen. After Os is fine. Email me when u're ready.

So...after that ordeal, I went back to the library, packed my stuff & went home. Then I slept all the way till now. And now, I'm back on the computer. Great job, munirah. But then I always win against my conscience.

Anyway, I had a dream. We happened to be living in the daemon world, & someone I knew had her daemon taken away from her, & gosh, it hurts. So we organised this meeting to find out who's the idiot who pulled it out. Deborah Tan was in the meeting...anyway, after the meeting, I was packing my stuff & Shamiah was behind me & saying its late & she shd go home. I looked up at the clock on the classroom wall & realised its 10p.m. So I let her go first. Then I ran to catch up w/ her. She said she needed to go buy sushie(sp?) for dinner or sth.

Ok, that's not the point. When I woke up, I realised that soon, I won't be going home with Shamiah anymore. I won't be crossing the street & suddenly meeting Jia Wen at the bus stop anymore. Or maybe meeting Pamela or Annie. In fact, I won't even be in my classroon & looking up at the classroom clock anymore...
My mum told me to keep studying. My job is to study. Doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter how many friends I make & how many I lose...What is with me & friends anyway? Family is more important. The family who I don't feel close to, who I can't even speak of my problems to. The thing is, I always know what they are going to say before asking a question, or even telling them my problem. I know every specific detail they're going to give, & whether it'll hurt me or not. And when I do try asking, they reply exactly they way I thought they would. And no matter how much I want to rebut them, to tell them that they are wrong, that there is more to it, I won't, cuz I guess I still know what they'll say. So instead, I go back to my room & cry...I dunno why...I can't talk to them...my parents...

xx

"I'm not retreating! I'm just advancing in the opposite direction!"

Noooo! Don't make me go back to the library! Nooooooooooo! -gets down on her knees & starts begging- Ok, this is pathetic. -gets up again.-

I am so SICK of doing amaths! And I'm not even improving! Argh! I am also SICK of seeing kenneth lui every two days...And two days after this one, I'll have to take an EXAM. From 8 to 10 a.m. on this coming Saturday, I'll be in 404's classroom drawing stupid vector diagrams, erasing them, re-drawing them, erasing again, redrawing again...and all the time wishing I could watch Pokemon! It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!! Why must life be so unfair????????????
Ignore her.

Hmm...I'll be going back to the library soon to do some ss...& I can't even eat!!!!!!!!
Stop complaining, idiot. *Some* people would actually be smart enough to know that by fasting, we save time & thus become more efficient in studying for the (dreaded) O levels...

OK! Whatever! Can't you shut up for awhile, huh?

-silence-

Either I'm going crazy or I'm going crazy.

xx

"Flies, Padfoot. Flies" ~ Remus to Serius when Sirius had his mouth hanging wide open.

Hello. I'm feeling bored now. I have nothing on my mind now. Lately, when I come here I have something on my mind, but now I don't. Oh well, I've got some quotes anyway...I can't think of what to type...except maybe Hari Raya. I can't wait! I can't believe its coming...not that it would be as exciting once its here.........ladeeda.........I want to go overseas. Oh, you know what I really want? I want to touch snow. Snow is cool. Literally. I've read so many books with snow inside, and watched so many cartoons also with snow inside...I wish I can touch real snow...not snow city snow...I want to make snowmen & have snowball fights & all those stuff...but I guess we Singaporean people might not be able to stand snow without many many layers of clothes...

Btw, I think I had been studying more for my Prelims than my Os...oh well...

I think all this thinking about snow is because of Calvin & Hobbes. I was reading my bio notes, the one made by Edna Tan, with all the Calvin&Hobbes comic strips...and so I took out my big book of Calvin&Hobbes & read the comics inside. A serious waste of time, I know. But I sure enjoyed myself.

xx

"Love your enemies. It pisses them off."

I'm gonna babble now. About how sad I'm feeling. I feel so alone, no one to talk too, everybody with their own agendas, we are always alone anyway. How I wish i have a daemon. But then I have Tommy, my imaginary friend, so why am I complaining? Liyana is nowhere in sight, neither is Jia Wen. I can't even see them on the last day of school. Yeah, but so what? That does not mean anything. What makes me think I can see them anyway? Putting such high hopes for nothing. Like how people are complaining that they can't go HJC or RJC. Haha. Well, it's not funny...well then. An aggregate of 20 will still get me somewhere I suppose...there's just too little time left. Am I regretting? I hope not...whatever. I'll give Liyana a call to see if I can go over to her place. Of course, I don't mind if anybody else invite me over to their place. Except I know some people would rather study alone...why am I such a loser? Wait, I'm not.

Suicide does not solve anything. I know. I just feel sorry for those who think of it and also for those who had already done it. Yet I feel jealous of those who live such a good life that the thought of suicide never come to their mind.

Oh, I'm starting to get attracted to orange. But I can't bear to leave red. Ah, I'm such a loyal fan.

xx

"...thinking about what?"
"Oh, you know. The big questions of life. Like, if
toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always
land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on
the back of a cat and drop it?"
~DT

Seven! I've got 7 cute little caterpillars on my lime plant. Actually they are not very cute yet cuz they are now dark green & white. Later they'll turn a beautiful light green colour with big fake eyes. So cute! Then they'll turn to ugly brown cacoons, then 1 or 2 weeks later they'll turn to a bright yellow & black butterfly! I've never really seen it coming out. I just happened to trap one & saw it grow until one day I came home from school & saw the beautiful butterfly. It's really quite gigantic. Hehe! There's been about 4 generations coming to lay eggs so far but I've never seen 7 caterpillars all at once. Sigh...I wish I can see it when it changes to a butterfly.

Anyway, I'm not worrying about my JC yet. I'll just wait for my results. It'll come then I'll cry then I'll make my bloody decision. I have to make it sooner or later. It'll just be later then.

xx

"Soon? What does that mean, soon?"
"Later than right now, earlier than never." ~ DT

It's sick when you hear it once. It's worse when she keeps repeating it. "Mmhmmm..." she'll say with that yucky voice. "Ok," she'll then say with a smile. Then, "Muax," & she'll make that kissing sound. Times that a couple of times. Then she'll say, "Oh, wait..." , talk for a few more minutes, then repeat the 'sweet' goodbyes all over again. I really felt like vomiting. If my sis does this over the phone, I wonder what she does when she sees her bf face to face.

xx

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

Haha! Only one more paper! And I am already slacking! Sigh. I don't know how I can stand waiting for the invigilators to collect our answer scripts tomorrow. I'd probably just burst with excitement. And DON"T remind me about the 'O's. Ah well. It's not that far away actually. I should just panic now, you know. Tan Yiow Hwa said before the Prelims that we should be stress then, so that we can relax in October. As if. I know I already died for Prelims, so I should work harder. Much harder. But I don't want to think about that yet. Cuz I'm watching Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow. Just something to look forward too. Other then Matrix Reloaded & Lord of the Rings Part III. Yeah! Except it's in November...sigh...

Something I don't look forward to is Alma Matta. I don't know how I'm going to let all my friends go. Not that I have many anyway. Like, I still keep in contact with my best friend from primary school. Except that it's always been me calling her & never she calling me. Sometimes I wonder if she's actually irritated with all my calls. Sigh. Too bad she had not given me her email or anything. I never got the opportunity to ask her. SIgh again. We were only best friends for one year in P6. Who are we together now? We lead totally different lives: different schools, different friends, different experiences...& that's how it's going to be with me & Shamiah/Jia Wen/Liyana/etc. ten years down the road. What's more Jia Wen might be going overseas. It's such a big world out there. We can never know what's going to happen.

Talking about overseas, I am seriously jealous that Shamiah is going to Switzerland. Aaah! It is so unfair! I have never been anywhere past Malaysia, & that was only to Penang! Plus, that was so long ago I couldn't even remember what happened. All I remembered was taking the plane there cause that's the first time I took a plane. And I had never stepped onto a plane since then. The only place my family & I go to each year is either Genting or to my father's aunt's kampung house at Malacca. Actually my family once went to Cameron Highlands except I didn't go because of some stupid thing I can't remember. So basically I haven't stepped on Cameron Highlands either. GOsh, how pathetic. Ok, yar, sure, there probably is a few out there who still haven't stepped out of SIngapore at my age. So I should be thankful, huh?

Then there's that merit award thing. Our chair & vice-chair didn't get it either. What the hell is the criteria? Not that it matters to a particualr someone who is glad that that chair didn't get it. Oh well, it's not like it matters to me, really. I haven't even been expecting it. I don't think I contributed that much to the committee. Well, maybe I did. But whatever I do I never expect anything in return or even any appreciation for it. I mean, that's what we should be expecting right? In life, we should not expect our contributions to be appreciated, no matter how big. We should just know that what we did makes a difference. I guess that's very sad. But we can't expect to get what we deserve all the time, right? This reminds me of a DV quote.

Oh, remind me to get a new template for my blog. I know it sucked reading all of the above, cuz I tried.

xx

"Life is not fair."
"That's true, but think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. Take great comfort in the completely impersonal hostility of the universe."
~ Draco...aah, I should start reading DV ch10

Totalimmortal
Hope unknown; sometimes just waking is surreal.
I walk right through the nameless ones.
Hope unknown; sometimes the water feels so real.
As I walk through it fills my lungs 'Oh my God I'm drowning.'

This day never seems to end.
This pain, never.
This day never seems to end.
This rage I cannot let go.

I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing all through flawless souls.

So alone. Sometimes I swear that I can hear the taunting of the voiceless ones.
I fell that I alone fear thoes finally cease to feel that they are alone inside this place-
-I am the misplaced.

This day never seems to end.
This pain never.
This day never seems to end.
This rage I cannot let go.

I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing out holes.
All through all the flawless souls.

Now ever face looks fimiliar...
then ever face would melt away until...
Now everyone, do you know, I know your deception?

-AFI

Orals...well, if I do the rest of my 'O's with the same standard, I can say dasbedanya to RJC. Goodbye! Astala babe vista! (I don't even know if the spelling is right...) And I didn't watch Smallville last night 'cause I was asleep...but I did watch Days of Our Lives, which is a very very slow...okay, that's an understatement...I can't believe Boa is still with Billy! He should have dumped her by now...and of course, the truth is still hidden from the poor sick man...when are they going to let the cat out of the bag?

Studies...not good. Haven't start on SS. Oh, I totally died in the test on structured question...then there's Biology and Geography...I really hate those subjects...actually not. I just don't really like the memorizing part. But then, who doesn't?

"Because," said Malfoy, and leaned forward until his face was inches from Seamus? "If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. Got that?"
Seamus just stared.
"And if you tell anyone what I just said, I will still beat you to death with a shovel. I want to be very clear about this, Finnegan. Do you understand me?"
Seamus found his voice, although it was fainter than usual. "A shovel?"
"That's right. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Keep it in mind," said Malfoy shortly, stepped back, and walked away from Seamus without looking back.~DV

I'm wasting time. I'm wasting time. I'm wasting time.

My sister just told me that she didn't manage to finish studying when taking her 'O's...wonder where she'd be if she had...

"A game? Oooh, a game! Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!" Dora...issit Dora? Oh no! I forgot her name!