Kaimisuki

I can't even watch Days of Our Lives in peace! I'm nuts. I'm stupid. Ayah keeps telling me to stop going online / watching tv & start studying but the more he says that, the more I don't want to study... & that is wrong! Argh! I hate him! I hate my mum too! I hate it when she comes into my room while I'm studying. Like this morning when I was studying & ibu woke up to eat sahur & she comes into my room & asked me if I've eaten & I felt this surge of anger...what is wrong with me? I don't hate them...

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I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...

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Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.

xx

"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer