I am really worried. I was excited at first but now I'm worried.
I'm afraid if I'll embarass myself or make myself look stupid. Like that time in OBS when I actually volunteered to be in charge of something, the raft-building I think. I don't know why I did that but I ended up making people irritated 'cause I didn't contribute much, didn't take note of the the time, and didn't help them come to a solution or something like that. What if I do that again?
Then in OBS I also did that stick-to-someone thing like I did with Liyana. I don't know whether I annoyed the person for following her around wherever she goes, but if I did, gosh did I look stupid!
I really want to look forward to the orientation, but I don't know...there are also the boys and I must be prepared to be holding hands with them or lying on them or something, like the ones in the pictures of orientation shown. Maybe it's only in rj but then...sigh, I bet most don't even think of this.
Right, Munirah. You must not irritate or annoy people, although I've been trying hard not to since I was born. But then I still did it, like the time I kept pestering Eunice for the lotr vcd...
Why must I only remember the bad memories and not the good ones? Why am I so worried over this? I was so worried about my Os but yet I didn't do anything about it. Maybe it's because I'm worried and ignorant at the same time. But really...you'd think someone who worries so much might actually be so careful that she does a very good job at everything. Like how you'd think a quiet person like me might actually be smart, listening to the lessons instead of talking so much. But guess what? Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam besi berkarat. I'm the 'besi'.
...Maybe I should be more confident, you know? Instead of being so worried and distressed...
xx
"If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it."
Kaimisuki-just a blog
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Sunday, December 21, 2003
I haven't been online much these days because my younger sister keeps using it, and for what? To read Draco Trilogy. Ya, sure it's fun and everything, hearing her laugh and recalling all the funny parts of the story, but really, it's getting a bit irritating 'cause she won't let me use the computer! And then there's my older sister who keeps wanting to play bloody pool with her boyfriend online. I can't use the computer peacefully without having them standing behind me and casting shadows over the screen. Then there's my mother who has just finished her computer course and wants to use it too! I so want a labtop of my own...
Then again, why am I complaining when I won't be doing anything usefull online? Not that I'd be doing anything usefull offline...
Except maybe staring at my fishes. Ok, it's not useful, but it's pretty interesting...somehow. I didn't know feeding fishes can be so fun. I mean, I can sit in front of the fish tank for a whole half an hour. Actually only about 15 minutes staring at the goldfishes, then 10 minutes staring at the lohan, then another 5 minutes staring at the baby goldfishes.
Yap, my goldfishes laid eggs again, and so we moved them to a new tank and now they've hatched! I didn't really count but I think it's about 15-20 babies. So cute!
I wish my caterpillars would start appearing again though. I guess it's not mating season for the butterflies...
At least I passed my Perdaus.
But the three resolutions for next year? Hah. Resolution no. 2)Never ever mess up my room ever again. I must always pick up after myself. Hah! My room is quite messy now. I tried cleaning it up but it still looks pretty bad. I spend like half the holidays cleaning up my room and it's still messy. Ok, I'm exagerating, but it really is. I wish I make better use of my time...
Well, Shamiah's holidays have been rather fruitfull. Mine haven't. All I did was play Monopoly with my sisters (which my older sister keeps asking for breaks so she can call her boyfriend, and she's the banker too). Then next week is Christmas and my family will be at Malaysia from Wednesday to Saturday night. Then school starts.
I really should start doing something.
xx
"From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it."
Then again, why am I complaining when I won't be doing anything usefull online? Not that I'd be doing anything usefull offline...
Except maybe staring at my fishes. Ok, it's not useful, but it's pretty interesting...somehow. I didn't know feeding fishes can be so fun. I mean, I can sit in front of the fish tank for a whole half an hour. Actually only about 15 minutes staring at the goldfishes, then 10 minutes staring at the lohan, then another 5 minutes staring at the baby goldfishes.
Yap, my goldfishes laid eggs again, and so we moved them to a new tank and now they've hatched! I didn't really count but I think it's about 15-20 babies. So cute!
I wish my caterpillars would start appearing again though. I guess it's not mating season for the butterflies...
At least I passed my Perdaus.
But the three resolutions for next year? Hah. Resolution no. 2)Never ever mess up my room ever again. I must always pick up after myself. Hah! My room is quite messy now. I tried cleaning it up but it still looks pretty bad. I spend like half the holidays cleaning up my room and it's still messy. Ok, I'm exagerating, but it really is. I wish I make better use of my time...
Well, Shamiah's holidays have been rather fruitfull. Mine haven't. All I did was play Monopoly with my sisters (which my older sister keeps asking for breaks so she can call her boyfriend, and she's the banker too). Then next week is Christmas and my family will be at Malaysia from Wednesday to Saturday night. Then school starts.
I really should start doing something.
xx
"From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it."
Monday, December 15, 2003
Chandler-Donald Duck: from the Friends show. I got it online actually. So cute right?
So anyway, Saddam's captured. I got interested in what others have got to say:
"they should use him for nuclar practice
After all, there is only one country in the world that has deliberately killed people with nuclear weapons...usa usa usa usa..."
and then the arguments start:
"Why would they need a dictatorship in the us? The big corporations and the rich have figured out how to run things while keeping the facade of a "democracy". A neat trick..."
"And if the us is so against dictatorships, why are they allies to saudi arabia? Why did the us help overthrow the elected government in chile and replace it with...a dictatorship? Why doesn't the us go into sudan, burma, north korea, or any of the other countries where the government abuses its people (could it be because of a lack of oil?)"
"If bush attacked all terrorist countrys, he wouldn't be attacking iraq, but instead he would attack the U.S. But his "war on terrorism" isn't going to include the U.S just like everything else. Thats why the U.N is getting mad at the U.S."
"You want to know what I think? I think Bush had already gotten Saddan a long time ago but never said that so he could keep playing the world-savior-hero. Now that reelections time is coming he simply take Hussein out of his hat an present it to his people againg trying to play the "big boss" "
but I like this one:
"If Al Gore was in there would have been no Golf war 2! Where did this Iraq thing come from? Bush probably woke up one morning and said. War"
then there are the sad stories on the war:
"i hated it because my dad went but omg hes comein home he'll be here in 3 days i just heard from my mom yehh"
"I will honestly pity my brother, if the whole war does turn out to be for oil. The only thing that keeps him going over there is the thought that he is making a differance to the Iraqi people. He sent me a picture just a few days ago, of a little Iraqi girl hugging him. He wept over that.
I don't agree with the war. but I will defend my brother. Some say he is the equivilant of a terrorist,but..."
Sigh...got all these from the Neopets chat boards. I don't know what to say really.
xx
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. - Aldous Huxley
So anyway, Saddam's captured. I got interested in what others have got to say:
"they should use him for nuclar practice
After all, there is only one country in the world that has deliberately killed people with nuclear weapons...usa usa usa usa..."
and then the arguments start:
"Why would they need a dictatorship in the us? The big corporations and the rich have figured out how to run things while keeping the facade of a "democracy". A neat trick..."
"And if the us is so against dictatorships, why are they allies to saudi arabia? Why did the us help overthrow the elected government in chile and replace it with...a dictatorship? Why doesn't the us go into sudan, burma, north korea, or any of the other countries where the government abuses its people (could it be because of a lack of oil?)"
"If bush attacked all terrorist countrys, he wouldn't be attacking iraq, but instead he would attack the U.S. But his "war on terrorism" isn't going to include the U.S just like everything else. Thats why the U.N is getting mad at the U.S."
"You want to know what I think? I think Bush had already gotten Saddan a long time ago but never said that so he could keep playing the world-savior-hero. Now that reelections time is coming he simply take Hussein out of his hat an present it to his people againg trying to play the "big boss" "
but I like this one:
"If Al Gore was in there would have been no Golf war 2! Where did this Iraq thing come from? Bush probably woke up one morning and said. War"
then there are the sad stories on the war:
"i hated it because my dad went but omg hes comein home he'll be here in 3 days i just heard from my mom yehh"
"I will honestly pity my brother, if the whole war does turn out to be for oil. The only thing that keeps him going over there is the thought that he is making a differance to the Iraqi people. He sent me a picture just a few days ago, of a little Iraqi girl hugging him. He wept over that.
I don't agree with the war. but I will defend my brother. Some say he is the equivilant of a terrorist,but..."
Sigh...got all these from the Neopets chat boards. I don't know what to say really.
xx
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. - Aldous Huxley
Saturday, December 13, 2003
My mum...I went to McDonalds to eat with her today, and when she finished, she pour out the ice from the cup and washed her hands with them right there. Embarassing! Ok, there wasn't really that many people there 'cause it's still early, but still, there's the toilet, you know. And what's the tissue for?
Sheesh...anyway, I found out from Voyage to the Future that there is about 7 trillion calories of food that the earth can offer. And they calculated that at Singapore's average consumption of calories, the earth can only support 5.3/5.4 billion people instead of 6.3 billion people (the current earth population). That's only Singapore. Other countries like India's rate of consumption can support more people.
Anyway, the point is that we in Singapore should consume less. Like, hello? I'm a bit underweight and they are still expecting me to eat less? I hardly even eat breakfast these days, 'cause my mum hardly cooks. So it's not my fault if the earth's food supply is totally over-consumed, issit?
I sound like Mia Thermopolis in the Princess Diaries...except that I'm not doing anything about it.
Guilt?
xx
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa
Sheesh...anyway, I found out from Voyage to the Future that there is about 7 trillion calories of food that the earth can offer. And they calculated that at Singapore's average consumption of calories, the earth can only support 5.3/5.4 billion people instead of 6.3 billion people (the current earth population). That's only Singapore. Other countries like India's rate of consumption can support more people.
Anyway, the point is that we in Singapore should consume less. Like, hello? I'm a bit underweight and they are still expecting me to eat less? I hardly even eat breakfast these days, 'cause my mum hardly cooks. So it's not my fault if the earth's food supply is totally over-consumed, issit?
I sound like Mia Thermopolis in the Princess Diaries...except that I'm not doing anything about it.
Guilt?
xx
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa
Friday, December 12, 2003
17th Dec...5 more days...TTT...then there's the results for the JCs...I keep thinking I might just end up with my 12th choice or something...and that's the Arts stream! Well, I difinitely can't get my 1st choice...sigh...anyway, when my aunts & uncles visited me, they did ask whether I can enter JC or not...luckily I can...imagine if I had to say no...
When my aunt and uncle visited yesterday, somehow we happened to talk about getting jobs. They said when getting a job, it's not about making money. The three things you have to consider is
1) Can you manage it?
2) Do you like it?
3) What is you're contribution to the community?
So really, all the time I thought making money is the most important factor...that's what my mum had been saying since young, to be a doctor so that we can become rich and live in a bungalow blahblahblah. But then being a doctor also doesn't mean we'll be rich. Only specialists are the rich ones. Even if I do want to become a doctor, they said being a malay would affect me too. There was one malay who applied to become one and his parents were also interviewed, not only him alone. I'm not sure about that though.
One relative of mine who had a pilot's degree couldn't get the job as he was taught overseas or something. It is important that we follow the institutions that the goverment approve to get that pilot's degree to become a pilot.
What job am i going to get? What does my future have in store for me? I guess the only thing I can do now is to study study study. I'll have to compete against those from China, US and other foreigners, so I have to work hard. Like what Jaime said, Let's work hard. And Liyana and I promised each other to study extra hard in JC, so I will.
I'm just scared. What if I make all this promises and in the end, I don't keep them? Like how I promised to work hard when I found out I was going to RGS four years ago, and yet I didn't? Why must time fly so fast? Almost half of December is gone and soon...soon...well, you know, JC...
xx
Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I? -- Lockhart
When my aunt and uncle visited yesterday, somehow we happened to talk about getting jobs. They said when getting a job, it's not about making money. The three things you have to consider is
1) Can you manage it?
2) Do you like it?
3) What is you're contribution to the community?
So really, all the time I thought making money is the most important factor...that's what my mum had been saying since young, to be a doctor so that we can become rich and live in a bungalow blahblahblah. But then being a doctor also doesn't mean we'll be rich. Only specialists are the rich ones. Even if I do want to become a doctor, they said being a malay would affect me too. There was one malay who applied to become one and his parents were also interviewed, not only him alone. I'm not sure about that though.
One relative of mine who had a pilot's degree couldn't get the job as he was taught overseas or something. It is important that we follow the institutions that the goverment approve to get that pilot's degree to become a pilot.
What job am i going to get? What does my future have in store for me? I guess the only thing I can do now is to study study study. I'll have to compete against those from China, US and other foreigners, so I have to work hard. Like what Jaime said, Let's work hard. And Liyana and I promised each other to study extra hard in JC, so I will.
I'm just scared. What if I make all this promises and in the end, I don't keep them? Like how I promised to work hard when I found out I was going to RGS four years ago, and yet I didn't? Why must time fly so fast? Almost half of December is gone and soon...soon...well, you know, JC...
xx
Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I? -- Lockhart
Monday, December 08, 2003
"the trees are all cut down :( those across the road from my estate. all just to build the new mrt line and interchange. i can see the devastation from here. it hurts."
I almost cried. I didn't even see the devastation and I almost cried...It kind of hurts me...I'm torn between the fact that we have to develop, and the fact that the trees are all dying! It's not fair! Those poor trees...and imagine the squirrels in those trees. I mean, if you look outside the window of some of the classrooms in RGS, you can see one or two squirrels running up the tree trunk! If one tree is a home to one squirrel, how many squirrels have died in the building of the new mrt line and interchange??? ...Argh! I can't help it!
Sigh...
Sigh...
Life is not fair...
Sigh...
Get over it Munirah.
...okaaay...
Well, my Perdaus exams are over. Finally! I think I'm going to fail again, like I did last year. You know what? I'm going to make three new resolutions for next year:
1) Never ever study last minute ever again.
2) Never ever mess up my room ever again. Must always always pick up after myself.
3) Never ever miss any solat ever again.
I've never really made new year resolutions. Even if I did, it was one just for the sake of it, knowing I'll never keep to it. This time, it's sirius. I mean, serious.
"Flies, Padfoot. Flies." I keep writing that phrase just to keep Sirius alive. I'm nuts.
It's not even 17th Dec & I'm already thinking of the new year...2004...wow...soon, I'll be writing this: 9th February 2004. 63 more days!
But first, there's 17th Dec. I really want to know when my results are coming out. And of course, The Return of the King.
I also want to know my Perdaus results. The sooner I know I fail, the better...I think.
I better go finish up Princess Diaries and return them to Shamiah when she gets back...
And Shamiah, I actually meant quotes for the bottom of each of my entry, not hp quotes!
xx
Chandler: "You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"
I almost cried. I didn't even see the devastation and I almost cried...It kind of hurts me...I'm torn between the fact that we have to develop, and the fact that the trees are all dying! It's not fair! Those poor trees...and imagine the squirrels in those trees. I mean, if you look outside the window of some of the classrooms in RGS, you can see one or two squirrels running up the tree trunk! If one tree is a home to one squirrel, how many squirrels have died in the building of the new mrt line and interchange??? ...Argh! I can't help it!
Sigh...
Sigh...
Life is not fair...
Sigh...
Get over it Munirah.
...okaaay...
Well, my Perdaus exams are over. Finally! I think I'm going to fail again, like I did last year. You know what? I'm going to make three new resolutions for next year:
1) Never ever study last minute ever again.
2) Never ever mess up my room ever again. Must always always pick up after myself.
3) Never ever miss any solat ever again.
I've never really made new year resolutions. Even if I did, it was one just for the sake of it, knowing I'll never keep to it. This time, it's sirius. I mean, serious.
"Flies, Padfoot. Flies." I keep writing that phrase just to keep Sirius alive. I'm nuts.
It's not even 17th Dec & I'm already thinking of the new year...2004...wow...soon, I'll be writing this: 9th February 2004. 63 more days!
But first, there's 17th Dec. I really want to know when my results are coming out. And of course, The Return of the King.
I also want to know my Perdaus results. The sooner I know I fail, the better...I think.
I better go finish up Princess Diaries and return them to Shamiah when she gets back...
And Shamiah, I actually meant quotes for the bottom of each of my entry, not hp quotes!
xx
Chandler: "You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"
Friday, November 28, 2003
So my Hari Raya's not bad...except that my room's in a mess. I keep telling myself to clean up once I reach home but...well, you know...I count money instead...
$212!!!
Oh why am I so horrid? So money-minded? So thrifty? So filial? Actually not so...
My little sister is reading OotP now, saying, "Ever since I read the part Sirius died, I feel like killing whoever who wrote this book." She also mentioned she felt like screaming like I did when I read that part...lol...
Oh, now she is looking for some batteries I left in my room...which is totally impossible to find looking at the mess...
Then now she's given up, telling me to look for them later, which is a waste of breath...
And now she plans to watch HP and the Sorceror's Stone...at 1.24 AM...
Btw, I found a whole lot of quotes too...they're all over the net!
...Dudley's running up n down the stairs! Haha! THat is so stupid..."Wake up , Potter!"...Daniel looked so cute!! I mean baby-cute!
..."Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"...heh...
xx
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
$212!!!
Oh why am I so horrid? So money-minded? So thrifty? So filial? Actually not so...
My little sister is reading OotP now, saying, "Ever since I read the part Sirius died, I feel like killing whoever who wrote this book." She also mentioned she felt like screaming like I did when I read that part...lol...
Oh, now she is looking for some batteries I left in my room...which is totally impossible to find looking at the mess...
Then now she's given up, telling me to look for them later, which is a waste of breath...
And now she plans to watch HP and the Sorceror's Stone...at 1.24 AM...
Btw, I found a whole lot of quotes too...they're all over the net!
...Dudley's running up n down the stairs! Haha! THat is so stupid..."Wake up , Potter!"...Daniel looked so cute!! I mean baby-cute!
..."Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"...heh...
xx
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
I definitely need to look for better quotes...and yes, I'm counting down to my b-day!!! Haha!!! I'm going nuts...it's really HaRi RaYa!!! You can just here the songs over the radio and get all excited!! Haha!! And eli got a new handphone and she was so excited sms-ing everybody...just like me when I got mine! Haha!! eli's so damn cute...in school just now she was like, " Eh, tomorrow is Hari Raya...Selamat Hari Raya!" And I got this warm feeling of gratefullness and happiness...and...
...
And the music just stopped...my father's still repairing the radio...sigh...
...
Ok, music's back!
...
So anyway, she just said it in this cute way you know...of course, jw remembered too and she said it in her own cute way...haha...I'm seriously going nuts...and at 6.47p.m., eli messaged me with 'selamat hari raya' n then the 'bang' rang n the whole situation was just...you know, you here the bang then a chinese person sms-ed you exactly when Hari Raya starts...ok...whatever...haha...
...
Sigh, you know something else? I know I have gotten over the fact that I'm going to miss all my friends ('cause I kept dreaming about you people and that has stopped) and I thought I have gotten over the feeling of fear over the 'O's but just yester day I had a dream. It was Geo exam and I haven't studied a single thing...everybody around me was so confident and I acted like I was confident too, when actually I really wanted to read through my Geo file...it was SO scary! I don't know why...but then, I didn't really study for the actual thing...but anyway, when my sis woke up, she was asking me, "What happens if you really did fail you're O-levels?" And that was yesterday. She reapeated the same question today! Umm...that's actually yesterday, since it's past 12midnight now (which means it's officially HaRi RaYa). So then my sis was saying like how she actually thought she was going to fail her Os when she took it...sigh, I can't tell you how much I felt like killing her...it was just so frightening, when you're own family members don't believe in you...other than the fact that I just want to get my Os done and over with.
But hell, like I'm really going to worry about that? 'Cause I have other things to worry about, like how Meridian's cut-off point is 19 last year, while my current aggregate is 20 ('cause I'm going for the science stream)...I'm still going to put it as my first choice though...but hell again, 'cause I'm not going to worry about that either...
It's HaRi RaYa! Then it's aLmA mAtA! Although I'm not sure whether to be excited over that...Maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I happen to hurt any of you and was too ignorant to realise that...
xx
Last night I dreamed about being carried off by a giant squirrel...does that make me a nut??
...
And the music just stopped...my father's still repairing the radio...sigh...
...
Ok, music's back!
...
So anyway, she just said it in this cute way you know...of course, jw remembered too and she said it in her own cute way...haha...I'm seriously going nuts...and at 6.47p.m., eli messaged me with 'selamat hari raya' n then the 'bang' rang n the whole situation was just...you know, you here the bang then a chinese person sms-ed you exactly when Hari Raya starts...ok...whatever...haha...
...
Sigh, you know something else? I know I have gotten over the fact that I'm going to miss all my friends ('cause I kept dreaming about you people and that has stopped) and I thought I have gotten over the feeling of fear over the 'O's but just yester day I had a dream. It was Geo exam and I haven't studied a single thing...everybody around me was so confident and I acted like I was confident too, when actually I really wanted to read through my Geo file...it was SO scary! I don't know why...but then, I didn't really study for the actual thing...but anyway, when my sis woke up, she was asking me, "What happens if you really did fail you're O-levels?" And that was yesterday. She reapeated the same question today! Umm...that's actually yesterday, since it's past 12midnight now (which means it's officially HaRi RaYa). So then my sis was saying like how she actually thought she was going to fail her Os when she took it...sigh, I can't tell you how much I felt like killing her...it was just so frightening, when you're own family members don't believe in you...other than the fact that I just want to get my Os done and over with.
But hell, like I'm really going to worry about that? 'Cause I have other things to worry about, like how Meridian's cut-off point is 19 last year, while my current aggregate is 20 ('cause I'm going for the science stream)...I'm still going to put it as my first choice though...but hell again, 'cause I'm not going to worry about that either...
It's HaRi RaYa! Then it's aLmA mAtA! Although I'm not sure whether to be excited over that...Maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I happen to hurt any of you and was too ignorant to realise that...
xx
Last night I dreamed about being carried off by a giant squirrel...does that make me a nut??
Friday, November 21, 2003
Fluffy Mathematics! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Shamiah thought F-Maths stands for Fluffy Mathematics! Ha! I can't stand it! Imagine mathematics being fluffy! Unless we are talking about Hagrid's Fluffy, of course. Haha!
And whoever's taking econs, take a look at the topics:
1. The Central Problem of Economics
2. Resource Allocation - Individuals and Markets
3. Resource Allocation - Firms and Markets
4. Market Failure and Government
Microeconomic Policy
5. The Macro-economy
6. Theory of Income and Employment
Determination
7. The Main Macro-economic Problems
8. Macro-economic Policies
9. International Trade
::vomits blood::
Anyway, so far, I'm considering taking triple science, chem+phy+FM, or chem+bio+econ...but then I need an A2 for AM to get FM, & B3 for all sciences to get triple science (only for MJC, of course)...so basically I'm dead.
xx
"what's c and f stand for? f? fluffy?" ~ my friend.
And whoever's taking econs, take a look at the topics:
1. The Central Problem of Economics
2. Resource Allocation - Individuals and Markets
3. Resource Allocation - Firms and Markets
4. Market Failure and Government
Microeconomic Policy
5. The Macro-economy
6. Theory of Income and Employment
Determination
7. The Main Macro-economic Problems
8. Macro-economic Policies
9. International Trade
::vomits blood::
Anyway, so far, I'm considering taking triple science, chem+phy+FM, or chem+bio+econ...but then I need an A2 for AM to get FM, & B3 for all sciences to get triple science (only for MJC, of course)...so basically I'm dead.
xx
"what's c and f stand for? f? fluffy?" ~ my friend.
I'm in a very very bad mood. And my family's not helping...It sucks being stuck with your family for a whole day when I'm in a bad mood. I wish I can just scream at them but I can't 'cause it's not their fault. It's just me waking up on the wrong side of the bed...
And there's just so many things to clean! I don't know which notes to keep & which to throw away. If I throw away, my mum will keep asking me whether my little sis can use it in the future...happens every year...& my sis ain't helping either, shouting at me like that...
xx
This is so bloody boring. It’d be more exciting just to go to bed. ~ Days of our lives
And there's just so many things to clean! I don't know which notes to keep & which to throw away. If I throw away, my mum will keep asking me whether my little sis can use it in the future...happens every year...& my sis ain't helping either, shouting at me like that...
xx
This is so bloody boring. It’d be more exciting just to go to bed. ~ Days of our lives
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Have anybody ever heard of flying rods? (www.flyingrods.com) I just heard it from my sister who heard it from TV. I still don't know what to make of it, nor do I know what to mak of the Loch Ness monster, Big foot or UFOs. Maybe they are there & we are not supposed to know...so I guess I'll pretend I don't. Of course, if we were in the Matrix, they could probably be a glitch or a virus...that is a much easier explanation.
xx
"Are we real or just a part of the Matrix?"
xx
"Are we real or just a part of the Matrix?"
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
"I hate my sister. Idiot stupid person. I hate her." ~ my sister's blog
My sister hates me. I think everybody hates me. I've just been very ignorant, that's all. Lucky me. Going around the house & acting like an idiot...never realising I'm really irritating them. I always thought they knew I'm kidding around...I guess I better stop it, huh? Stop irritating people, start treating them like I want them to treat me...maybe help them with the housework...clean up the table after they eat...massage their backs...
Ok, I've really got to go. There's so many things to do...so many things to clean, so many things to find out, so many books to read...
Oh, I've watched Matrix Revolutions & it wasn't that bad what...its the ending to a trilogy! What did they expect? Actually I dont understand the ending...
xx
"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train that's going to squash you flat." ~ DT...?
My sister hates me. I think everybody hates me. I've just been very ignorant, that's all. Lucky me. Going around the house & acting like an idiot...never realising I'm really irritating them. I always thought they knew I'm kidding around...I guess I better stop it, huh? Stop irritating people, start treating them like I want them to treat me...maybe help them with the housework...clean up the table after they eat...massage their backs...
Ok, I've really got to go. There's so many things to do...so many things to clean, so many things to find out, so many books to read...
Oh, I've watched Matrix Revolutions & it wasn't that bad what...its the ending to a trilogy! What did they expect? Actually I dont understand the ending...
xx
"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train that's going to squash you flat." ~ DT...?
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
I got my dates for my Perdaus exams wrong…its on the 6th…more time to study…right…
…I keep imagining myself getting my results & realising I can’t get into the science stream...but that’s the better part. The worse part is not being accepted into JC. THEN I’ll have to go to poly & take bio tech, which my sister suggested...she also mentioned taking bio tech is just as good as going to JC…sigh…
...how could I have let them down? I died for my O-levels. I could have done much better but I didn’t. I took things for granted & wasted my 4 years here. I don’t deserve anything right now…
I’m regretting, I know, something which everyone have been telling me to avoid…I just want to forget about my ‘O’s. Forget about my whole life in rgs, being surrounded by all the smart people but never learning anything from them. But you know what I’m more afraid of? I’m afraid that I forget to regret. Then waste my next 2 years…again…
Gawd, I sound like an idiot.
xx
"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer." ~ Agent Smith
…I keep imagining myself getting my results & realising I can’t get into the science stream...but that’s the better part. The worse part is not being accepted into JC. THEN I’ll have to go to poly & take bio tech, which my sister suggested...she also mentioned taking bio tech is just as good as going to JC…sigh…
...how could I have let them down? I died for my O-levels. I could have done much better but I didn’t. I took things for granted & wasted my 4 years here. I don’t deserve anything right now…
I’m regretting, I know, something which everyone have been telling me to avoid…I just want to forget about my ‘O’s. Forget about my whole life in rgs, being surrounded by all the smart people but never learning anything from them. But you know what I’m more afraid of? I’m afraid that I forget to regret. Then waste my next 2 years…again…
Gawd, I sound like an idiot.
xx
"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer." ~ Agent Smith
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Ok, before I don't come online until the 27th, I've got this to say: I've heard everything about Matrix Revolution from my elder sis. And...I'm not gonna say much, but then I guess everybody's heard, the plot aint that cool, 'cause I expected better. How uncool is it? It's how in Matrix, Trinity kissing Neo & resurrecting him. And how in Matrix Reloaded, Neo pulling out the bullet from Trinity. That's how uncool it is. But hell. Maybe those who haven't watch it should try not to expect anything. It's not a stupid show nor is it great. Decide that after you watch it. Heh. Neo...what can I say about Neo...he is one freaking dude.
So now, I have to depend on the actions & animations now to ensure that I get some excitement from watching Matrix Reloaded.
Let's hope lotr3 & hp3 is better...but then there are critics for every movie.
xx
"Yeah. Free my mind. Right. No problem." ~ Neo
So now, I have to depend on the actions & animations now to ensure that I get some excitement from watching Matrix Reloaded.
Let's hope lotr3 & hp3 is better...but then there are critics for every movie.
xx
"Yeah. Free my mind. Right. No problem." ~ Neo
Saturday, November 08, 2003
My Malay paper was easy. And I'm even more scared. 'Cause if I don't get an A1...that shows how stupid I am...
Anyway, I'm not ever going online again till the 18th...actually it should be the 27th, 'cause my Perdaus Paper is on the 26th...I think...so that means I have to write my animal story some other time...
xx
Don't Quit! ~ from the Chicken Soup for the Soul
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When stress is pressing down on you,
Rest if you must - But don't you quit!
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, tho' the pace seems slow. -
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint & faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he captured the victors cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was, to the golden crown.
Success is a failure turned inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And your can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst you mustn't quit.
Anyway, I'm not ever going online again till the 18th...actually it should be the 27th, 'cause my Perdaus Paper is on the 26th...I think...so that means I have to write my animal story some other time...
xx
Don't Quit! ~ from the Chicken Soup for the Soul
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When stress is pressing down on you,
Rest if you must - But don't you quit!
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, tho' the pace seems slow. -
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint & faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he captured the victors cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was, to the golden crown.
Success is a failure turned inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And your can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst you mustn't quit.
Friday, November 07, 2003
After school. Everybody's gone. Switch off the lights closest to the windows (lest reflection on the glass). Switch off the air-con (to be environmentally friendly...no lar just cold)...& finally sitting down at the teacher's table to use the computer...actually the computer's not the teacher's table. It's beside it. How come this table has never been called the computer table? Err...anyway, just saying I won't be doing this next year...
Muthu haven't replied for some months because he got an accident! Or was he just sick? Sigh...just thinking...if our penpals suddenly got into an accident & died (touch wood), we would never ever know he'd dead. All we'd know is he had stopped replying to our emails. When actually he can't do that because he's wiped from the surface of the earth. Scary.
xx
"Don't let your mind wonder. It's much too small to be off onits own anyway."
Muthu haven't replied for some months because he got an accident! Or was he just sick? Sigh...just thinking...if our penpals suddenly got into an accident & died (touch wood), we would never ever know he'd dead. All we'd know is he had stopped replying to our emails. When actually he can't do that because he's wiped from the surface of the earth. Scary.
xx
"Don't let your mind wonder. It's much too small to be off onits own anyway."
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Monday, November 03, 2003
I can't even watch Days of Our Lives in peace! I'm nuts. I'm stupid. Ayah keeps telling me to stop going online / watching tv & start studying but the more he says that, the more I don't want to study... & that is wrong! Argh! I hate him! I hate my mum too! I hate it when she comes into my room while I'm studying. Like this morning when I was studying & ibu woke up to eat sahur & she comes into my room & asked me if I've eaten & I felt this surge of anger...what is wrong with me? I don't hate them...
...
I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...
...
Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.
xx
"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
...
I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...
...
Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.
xx
"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
Saturday, November 01, 2003
I thought I lost my graduation ring...& I thought that's pretty horrible...but then my sis found it in the washing machine...& now it's scratched & all...-sniff.sniff-
I actually planned the things I'm gonna do after 'O's:
- bathe 2x a day (+brushing teeth)
(these days I bathe once in two days...)
- mengaji everyday
- start jogging again (weekly)
- wash dishes, throw the garbage, sweep/vacuum the floor, etc...(& hopefully get $$ too)
- actually *learn* to cook
- start reading mly & el newspaper
- read newsweek
- buy national geographic (if parents let me...$$?)
- &, the best of all, go library everyday!
- of course, there's also THE MATRIX, RETURN OF THE KING & HP PoA!
- pLuS HaRi RaYa!!!
But there are still people taking exams after 'O's, like xiao tian taking some Jap exam after Alma Matta, & me taking my religious class exams after HaRi RaYa...oh well...I know that every beginning has an end (y must Sirius die???) but exams definitely defy that.
Lalala...what was tt quote? "You may have missed the beauty of the morning, but do not miss the evening dew." (Hollond V) I hate that stupid WanWan. Who does she think she is? How come she thinks all the guys she choose for her sisters are the 'right' ones? And poor Xiong ge! How could she leave him like that? Btw, I like Yanyan's attitude. If I were in that family, I would be Yanyan. Definitely NOT RouRou...can't even fight a guy like Tianxiang...oh whatever. &...does 7-eleven really sells condoms? My sister was asking...
Then there's Salman who went to VJC(?) with his Josephian of the Year Award & his sportings talents...Shamiah's stressed having such a perfect cousin. While I am just trying to forget him...he has a girlfriend anyway(?)...
About my studies, I've got this to quote: "The first award spurred me on to go for the 2nd & 3rd award."
And this to say: "How come I never get spurred on by anything?"
xx
Fact: Coffee is the 2nd most widely traded commodity in the world, with oil ranked first and steel third.
I actually planned the things I'm gonna do after 'O's:
- bathe 2x a day (+brushing teeth)
(these days I bathe once in two days...)
- mengaji everyday
- start jogging again (weekly)
- wash dishes, throw the garbage, sweep/vacuum the floor, etc...(& hopefully get $$ too)
- actually *learn* to cook
- start reading mly & el newspaper
- read newsweek
- buy national geographic (if parents let me...$$?)
- &, the best of all, go library everyday!
- of course, there's also THE MATRIX, RETURN OF THE KING & HP PoA!
- pLuS HaRi RaYa!!!
But there are still people taking exams after 'O's, like xiao tian taking some Jap exam after Alma Matta, & me taking my religious class exams after HaRi RaYa...oh well...I know that every beginning has an end (y must Sirius die???) but exams definitely defy that.
Lalala...what was tt quote? "You may have missed the beauty of the morning, but do not miss the evening dew." (Hollond V) I hate that stupid WanWan. Who does she think she is? How come she thinks all the guys she choose for her sisters are the 'right' ones? And poor Xiong ge! How could she leave him like that? Btw, I like Yanyan's attitude. If I were in that family, I would be Yanyan. Definitely NOT RouRou...can't even fight a guy like Tianxiang...oh whatever. &...does 7-eleven really sells condoms? My sister was asking...
Then there's Salman who went to VJC(?) with his Josephian of the Year Award & his sportings talents...Shamiah's stressed having such a perfect cousin. While I am just trying to forget him...he has a girlfriend anyway(?)...
About my studies, I've got this to quote: "The first award spurred me on to go for the 2nd & 3rd award."
And this to say: "How come I never get spurred on by anything?"
xx
Fact: Coffee is the 2nd most widely traded commodity in the world, with oil ranked first and steel third.
Monday, October 27, 2003
What if, someone was depressed, and you were happy. You smiled at the person, talking merrily & laughing like nuts, but the person did not say anything. So then you get a little down-hearted & walked away. When in actual fact, the person felt very much happier than before. But you didn't know that. So you felt sad for the rest of the day. What a great sacrifice for a sad friend, don't you think? It's like some of the person's feelings enter you while some of your better feelings go away...oh, whatever. I guess this only happens to poor old me, huh?
xx
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive anyway."
xx
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive anyway."
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Excuse me but..."going to different institutions"? Of course I'm going to different institutions from the rest of the rgs population! This may be very negative of me, but I am just not meant to be in rgs in the 1st place.
Whatever. Take this extremely funny conversation between my friend & Mr Lui.
Ring, ring…
Lui : Hello? Georgia?
Georgia: (just woken up) Hello…
Lui : Georgia, this is Kenneth Lui speaking.
Georgia: WHAT Lui?!
Lui : Mr Kenneth Lui. *Anyway*, there’s Amaths remedial class today.
Georgia: There is?! But there can’t be!
Lui : There is. (He said with a final tone)
Georgia: But…my friend (forgot who) said she’s not coming today.
Lui : Yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come.
Georgia: But…I just woke up. (still sleepy enough not to come up w/ a better reason)
-long pause-
Lui : Can you get ready & come down *now*.
Georgia: (finally woken up) Oh, I have tuition later.
-longer pause-
Lui : Ok, can you come down tomorrow?
Georgia: But Mr Lui! Tomorrow is Deepavali! It’s not me, but I do not want to trouble you or anything, making you come down just for me especially on a holiday when you should be taking a rest with your family…etc, etc.
Lui : Oh, alright, come down on Saturday then. There’s a mock exam from 8 to 12 at 404 classroom.
Georgia: Err…okay…
-conversation end-
Heh, more quotes...btw, I found out the quote abt strapping toast on the back of a cat was originally made by Steven Wright.
xx
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.
Whatever. Take this extremely funny conversation between my friend & Mr Lui.
Ring, ring…
Lui : Hello? Georgia?
Georgia: (just woken up) Hello…
Lui : Georgia, this is Kenneth Lui speaking.
Georgia: WHAT Lui?!
Lui : Mr Kenneth Lui. *Anyway*, there’s Amaths remedial class today.
Georgia: There is?! But there can’t be!
Lui : There is. (He said with a final tone)
Georgia: But…my friend (forgot who) said she’s not coming today.
Lui : Yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come.
Georgia: But…I just woke up. (still sleepy enough not to come up w/ a better reason)
-long pause-
Lui : Can you get ready & come down *now*.
Georgia: (finally woken up) Oh, I have tuition later.
-longer pause-
Lui : Ok, can you come down tomorrow?
Georgia: But Mr Lui! Tomorrow is Deepavali! It’s not me, but I do not want to trouble you or anything, making you come down just for me especially on a holiday when you should be taking a rest with your family…etc, etc.
Lui : Oh, alright, come down on Saturday then. There’s a mock exam from 8 to 12 at 404 classroom.
Georgia: Err…okay…
-conversation end-
Heh, more quotes...btw, I found out the quote abt strapping toast on the back of a cat was originally made by Steven Wright.
xx
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Thx, Jia Wen. After Os is fine. Email me when u're ready.
So...after that ordeal, I went back to the library, packed my stuff & went home. Then I slept all the way till now. And now, I'm back on the computer. Great job, munirah. But then I always win against my conscience.
Anyway, I had a dream. We happened to be living in the daemon world, & someone I knew had her daemon taken away from her, & gosh, it hurts. So we organised this meeting to find out who's the idiot who pulled it out. Deborah Tan was in the meeting...anyway, after the meeting, I was packing my stuff & Shamiah was behind me & saying its late & she shd go home. I looked up at the clock on the classroom wall & realised its 10p.m. So I let her go first. Then I ran to catch up w/ her. She said she needed to go buy sushie(sp?) for dinner or sth.
Ok, that's not the point. When I woke up, I realised that soon, I won't be going home with Shamiah anymore. I won't be crossing the street & suddenly meeting Jia Wen at the bus stop anymore. Or maybe meeting Pamela or Annie. In fact, I won't even be in my classroon & looking up at the classroom clock anymore...
My mum told me to keep studying. My job is to study. Doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter how many friends I make & how many I lose...What is with me & friends anyway? Family is more important. The family who I don't feel close to, who I can't even speak of my problems to. The thing is, I always know what they are going to say before asking a question, or even telling them my problem. I know every specific detail they're going to give, & whether it'll hurt me or not. And when I do try asking, they reply exactly they way I thought they would. And no matter how much I want to rebut them, to tell them that they are wrong, that there is more to it, I won't, cuz I guess I still know what they'll say. So instead, I go back to my room & cry...I dunno why...I can't talk to them...my parents...
xx
"I'm not retreating! I'm just advancing in the opposite direction!"
So...after that ordeal, I went back to the library, packed my stuff & went home. Then I slept all the way till now. And now, I'm back on the computer. Great job, munirah. But then I always win against my conscience.
Anyway, I had a dream. We happened to be living in the daemon world, & someone I knew had her daemon taken away from her, & gosh, it hurts. So we organised this meeting to find out who's the idiot who pulled it out. Deborah Tan was in the meeting...anyway, after the meeting, I was packing my stuff & Shamiah was behind me & saying its late & she shd go home. I looked up at the clock on the classroom wall & realised its 10p.m. So I let her go first. Then I ran to catch up w/ her. She said she needed to go buy sushie(sp?) for dinner or sth.
Ok, that's not the point. When I woke up, I realised that soon, I won't be going home with Shamiah anymore. I won't be crossing the street & suddenly meeting Jia Wen at the bus stop anymore. Or maybe meeting Pamela or Annie. In fact, I won't even be in my classroon & looking up at the classroom clock anymore...
My mum told me to keep studying. My job is to study. Doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter how many friends I make & how many I lose...What is with me & friends anyway? Family is more important. The family who I don't feel close to, who I can't even speak of my problems to. The thing is, I always know what they are going to say before asking a question, or even telling them my problem. I know every specific detail they're going to give, & whether it'll hurt me or not. And when I do try asking, they reply exactly they way I thought they would. And no matter how much I want to rebut them, to tell them that they are wrong, that there is more to it, I won't, cuz I guess I still know what they'll say. So instead, I go back to my room & cry...I dunno why...I can't talk to them...my parents...
xx
"I'm not retreating! I'm just advancing in the opposite direction!"
Noooo! Don't make me go back to the library! Nooooooooooo! -gets down on her knees & starts begging- Ok, this is pathetic. -gets up again.-
I am so SICK of doing amaths! And I'm not even improving! Argh! I am also SICK of seeing kenneth lui every two days...And two days after this one, I'll have to take an EXAM. From 8 to 10 a.m. on this coming Saturday, I'll be in 404's classroom drawing stupid vector diagrams, erasing them, re-drawing them, erasing again, redrawing again...and all the time wishing I could watch Pokemon! It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!! Why must life be so unfair????????????
Ignore her.
Hmm...I'll be going back to the library soon to do some ss...& I can't even eat!!!!!!!!
Stop complaining, idiot. *Some* people would actually be smart enough to know that by fasting, we save time & thus become more efficient in studying for the (dreaded) O levels...
OK! Whatever! Can't you shut up for awhile, huh?
-silence-
Either I'm going crazy or I'm going crazy.
xx
"Flies, Padfoot. Flies" ~ Remus to Serius when Sirius had his mouth hanging wide open.
I am so SICK of doing amaths! And I'm not even improving! Argh! I am also SICK of seeing kenneth lui every two days...And two days after this one, I'll have to take an EXAM. From 8 to 10 a.m. on this coming Saturday, I'll be in 404's classroom drawing stupid vector diagrams, erasing them, re-drawing them, erasing again, redrawing again...and all the time wishing I could watch Pokemon! It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!! Why must life be so unfair????????????
Ignore her.
Hmm...I'll be going back to the library soon to do some ss...& I can't even eat!!!!!!!!
Stop complaining, idiot. *Some* people would actually be smart enough to know that by fasting, we save time & thus become more efficient in studying for the (dreaded) O levels...
OK! Whatever! Can't you shut up for awhile, huh?
-silence-
Either I'm going crazy or I'm going crazy.
xx
"Flies, Padfoot. Flies" ~ Remus to Serius when Sirius had his mouth hanging wide open.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Hello. I'm feeling bored now. I have nothing on my mind now. Lately, when I come here I have something on my mind, but now I don't. Oh well, I've got some quotes anyway...I can't think of what to type...except maybe Hari Raya. I can't wait! I can't believe its coming...not that it would be as exciting once its here.........ladeeda.........I want to go overseas. Oh, you know what I really want? I want to touch snow. Snow is cool. Literally. I've read so many books with snow inside, and watched so many cartoons also with snow inside...I wish I can touch real snow...not snow city snow...I want to make snowmen & have snowball fights & all those stuff...but I guess we Singaporean people might not be able to stand snow without many many layers of clothes...
Btw, I think I had been studying more for my Prelims than my Os...oh well...
I think all this thinking about snow is because of Calvin & Hobbes. I was reading my bio notes, the one made by Edna Tan, with all the Calvin&Hobbes comic strips...and so I took out my big book of Calvin&Hobbes & read the comics inside. A serious waste of time, I know. But I sure enjoyed myself.
xx
"Love your enemies. It pisses them off."
Btw, I think I had been studying more for my Prelims than my Os...oh well...
I think all this thinking about snow is because of Calvin & Hobbes. I was reading my bio notes, the one made by Edna Tan, with all the Calvin&Hobbes comic strips...and so I took out my big book of Calvin&Hobbes & read the comics inside. A serious waste of time, I know. But I sure enjoyed myself.
xx
"Love your enemies. It pisses them off."
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
I'm gonna babble now. About how sad I'm feeling. I feel so alone, no one to talk too, everybody with their own agendas, we are always alone anyway. How I wish i have a daemon. But then I have Tommy, my imaginary friend, so why am I complaining? Liyana is nowhere in sight, neither is Jia Wen. I can't even see them on the last day of school. Yeah, but so what? That does not mean anything. What makes me think I can see them anyway? Putting such high hopes for nothing. Like how people are complaining that they can't go HJC or RJC. Haha. Well, it's not funny...well then. An aggregate of 20 will still get me somewhere I suppose...there's just too little time left. Am I regretting? I hope not...whatever. I'll give Liyana a call to see if I can go over to her place. Of course, I don't mind if anybody else invite me over to their place. Except I know some people would rather study alone...why am I such a loser? Wait, I'm not.
Suicide does not solve anything. I know. I just feel sorry for those who think of it and also for those who had already done it. Yet I feel jealous of those who live such a good life that the thought of suicide never come to their mind.
Oh, I'm starting to get attracted to orange. But I can't bear to leave red. Ah, I'm such a loyal fan.
xx
"...thinking about what?"
"Oh, you know. The big questions of life. Like, if
toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always
land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on
the back of a cat and drop it?"
~DT
Suicide does not solve anything. I know. I just feel sorry for those who think of it and also for those who had already done it. Yet I feel jealous of those who live such a good life that the thought of suicide never come to their mind.
Oh, I'm starting to get attracted to orange. But I can't bear to leave red. Ah, I'm such a loyal fan.
xx
"...thinking about what?"
"Oh, you know. The big questions of life. Like, if
toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always
land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on
the back of a cat and drop it?"
~DT
Friday, October 03, 2003
Seven! I've got 7 cute little caterpillars on my lime plant. Actually they are not very cute yet cuz they are now dark green & white. Later they'll turn a beautiful light green colour with big fake eyes. So cute! Then they'll turn to ugly brown cacoons, then 1 or 2 weeks later they'll turn to a bright yellow & black butterfly! I've never really seen it coming out. I just happened to trap one & saw it grow until one day I came home from school & saw the beautiful butterfly. It's really quite gigantic. Hehe! There's been about 4 generations coming to lay eggs so far but I've never seen 7 caterpillars all at once. Sigh...I wish I can see it when it changes to a butterfly.
Anyway, I'm not worrying about my JC yet. I'll just wait for my results. It'll come then I'll cry then I'll make my bloody decision. I have to make it sooner or later. It'll just be later then.
xx
"Soon? What does that mean, soon?"
"Later than right now, earlier than never." ~ DT
Anyway, I'm not worrying about my JC yet. I'll just wait for my results. It'll come then I'll cry then I'll make my bloody decision. I have to make it sooner or later. It'll just be later then.
xx
"Soon? What does that mean, soon?"
"Later than right now, earlier than never." ~ DT
Thursday, October 02, 2003
It's sick when you hear it once. It's worse when she keeps repeating it. "Mmhmmm..." she'll say with that yucky voice. "Ok," she'll then say with a smile. Then, "Muax," & she'll make that kissing sound. Times that a couple of times. Then she'll say, "Oh, wait..." , talk for a few more minutes, then repeat the 'sweet' goodbyes all over again. I really felt like vomiting. If my sis does this over the phone, I wonder what she does when she sees her bf face to face.
xx
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
xx
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
Monday, September 29, 2003
Haha! Only one more paper! And I am already slacking! Sigh. I don't know how I can stand waiting for the invigilators to collect our answer scripts tomorrow. I'd probably just burst with excitement. And DON"T remind me about the 'O's. Ah well. It's not that far away actually. I should just panic now, you know. Tan Yiow Hwa said before the Prelims that we should be stress then, so that we can relax in October. As if. I know I already died for Prelims, so I should work harder. Much harder. But I don't want to think about that yet. Cuz I'm watching Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow. Just something to look forward too. Other then Matrix Reloaded & Lord of the Rings Part III. Yeah! Except it's in November...sigh...
Something I don't look forward to is Alma Matta. I don't know how I'm going to let all my friends go. Not that I have many anyway. Like, I still keep in contact with my best friend from primary school. Except that it's always been me calling her & never she calling me. Sometimes I wonder if she's actually irritated with all my calls. Sigh. Too bad she had not given me her email or anything. I never got the opportunity to ask her. SIgh again. We were only best friends for one year in P6. Who are we together now? We lead totally different lives: different schools, different friends, different experiences...& that's how it's going to be with me & Shamiah/Jia Wen/Liyana/etc. ten years down the road. What's more Jia Wen might be going overseas. It's such a big world out there. We can never know what's going to happen.
Talking about overseas, I am seriously jealous that Shamiah is going to Switzerland. Aaah! It is so unfair! I have never been anywhere past Malaysia, & that was only to Penang! Plus, that was so long ago I couldn't even remember what happened. All I remembered was taking the plane there cause that's the first time I took a plane. And I had never stepped onto a plane since then. The only place my family & I go to each year is either Genting or to my father's aunt's kampung house at Malacca. Actually my family once went to Cameron Highlands except I didn't go because of some stupid thing I can't remember. So basically I haven't stepped on Cameron Highlands either. GOsh, how pathetic. Ok, yar, sure, there probably is a few out there who still haven't stepped out of SIngapore at my age. So I should be thankful, huh?
Then there's that merit award thing. Our chair & vice-chair didn't get it either. What the hell is the criteria? Not that it matters to a particualr someone who is glad that that chair didn't get it. Oh well, it's not like it matters to me, really. I haven't even been expecting it. I don't think I contributed that much to the committee. Well, maybe I did. But whatever I do I never expect anything in return or even any appreciation for it. I mean, that's what we should be expecting right? In life, we should not expect our contributions to be appreciated, no matter how big. We should just know that what we did makes a difference. I guess that's very sad. But we can't expect to get what we deserve all the time, right? This reminds me of a DV quote.
Oh, remind me to get a new template for my blog. I know it sucked reading all of the above, cuz I tried.
xx
"Life is not fair."
"That's true, but think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. Take great comfort in the completely impersonal hostility of the universe."
~ Draco...aah, I should start reading DV ch10
Something I don't look forward to is Alma Matta. I don't know how I'm going to let all my friends go. Not that I have many anyway. Like, I still keep in contact with my best friend from primary school. Except that it's always been me calling her & never she calling me. Sometimes I wonder if she's actually irritated with all my calls. Sigh. Too bad she had not given me her email or anything. I never got the opportunity to ask her. SIgh again. We were only best friends for one year in P6. Who are we together now? We lead totally different lives: different schools, different friends, different experiences...& that's how it's going to be with me & Shamiah/Jia Wen/Liyana/etc. ten years down the road. What's more Jia Wen might be going overseas. It's such a big world out there. We can never know what's going to happen.
Talking about overseas, I am seriously jealous that Shamiah is going to Switzerland. Aaah! It is so unfair! I have never been anywhere past Malaysia, & that was only to Penang! Plus, that was so long ago I couldn't even remember what happened. All I remembered was taking the plane there cause that's the first time I took a plane. And I had never stepped onto a plane since then. The only place my family & I go to each year is either Genting or to my father's aunt's kampung house at Malacca. Actually my family once went to Cameron Highlands except I didn't go because of some stupid thing I can't remember. So basically I haven't stepped on Cameron Highlands either. GOsh, how pathetic. Ok, yar, sure, there probably is a few out there who still haven't stepped out of SIngapore at my age. So I should be thankful, huh?
Then there's that merit award thing. Our chair & vice-chair didn't get it either. What the hell is the criteria? Not that it matters to a particualr someone who is glad that that chair didn't get it. Oh well, it's not like it matters to me, really. I haven't even been expecting it. I don't think I contributed that much to the committee. Well, maybe I did. But whatever I do I never expect anything in return or even any appreciation for it. I mean, that's what we should be expecting right? In life, we should not expect our contributions to be appreciated, no matter how big. We should just know that what we did makes a difference. I guess that's very sad. But we can't expect to get what we deserve all the time, right? This reminds me of a DV quote.
Oh, remind me to get a new template for my blog. I know it sucked reading all of the above, cuz I tried.
xx
"Life is not fair."
"That's true, but think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserve them. Take great comfort in the completely impersonal hostility of the universe."
~ Draco...aah, I should start reading DV ch10
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Totalimmortal
Hope unknown; sometimes just waking is surreal.
I walk right through the nameless ones.
Hope unknown; sometimes the water feels so real.
As I walk through it fills my lungs 'Oh my God I'm drowning.'
This day never seems to end.
This pain, never.
This day never seems to end.
This rage I cannot let go.
I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing all through flawless souls.
So alone. Sometimes I swear that I can hear the taunting of the voiceless ones.
I fell that I alone fear thoes finally cease to feel that they are alone inside this place-
-I am the misplaced.
This day never seems to end.
This pain never.
This day never seems to end.
This rage I cannot let go.
I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing out holes.
All through all the flawless souls.
Now ever face looks fimiliar...
then ever face would melt away until...
Now everyone, do you know, I know your deception?
-AFI
Hope unknown; sometimes just waking is surreal.
I walk right through the nameless ones.
Hope unknown; sometimes the water feels so real.
As I walk through it fills my lungs 'Oh my God I'm drowning.'
This day never seems to end.
This pain, never.
This day never seems to end.
This rage I cannot let go.
I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing all through flawless souls.
So alone. Sometimes I swear that I can hear the taunting of the voiceless ones.
I fell that I alone fear thoes finally cease to feel that they are alone inside this place-
-I am the misplaced.
This day never seems to end.
This pain never.
This day never seems to end.
This rage I cannot let go.
I hear them calling.
I feel them gnawing out holes.
All through all the flawless souls.
Now ever face looks fimiliar...
then ever face would melt away until...
Now everyone, do you know, I know your deception?
-AFI
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Orals...well, if I do the rest of my 'O's with the same standard, I can say dasbedanya to RJC. Goodbye! Astala babe vista! (I don't even know if the spelling is right...) And I didn't watch Smallville last night 'cause I was asleep...but I did watch Days of Our Lives, which is a very very slow...okay, that's an understatement...I can't believe Boa is still with Billy! He should have dumped her by now...and of course, the truth is still hidden from the poor sick man...when are they going to let the cat out of the bag?
Studies...not good. Haven't start on SS. Oh, I totally died in the test on structured question...then there's Biology and Geography...I really hate those subjects...actually not. I just don't really like the memorizing part. But then, who doesn't?
"Because," said Malfoy, and leaned forward until his face was inches from Seamus? "If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. Got that?"
Seamus just stared.
"And if you tell anyone what I just said, I will still beat you to death with a shovel. I want to be very clear about this, Finnegan. Do you understand me?"
Seamus found his voice, although it was fainter than usual. "A shovel?"
"That's right. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Keep it in mind," said Malfoy shortly, stepped back, and walked away from Seamus without looking back.~DV
Studies...not good. Haven't start on SS. Oh, I totally died in the test on structured question...then there's Biology and Geography...I really hate those subjects...actually not. I just don't really like the memorizing part. But then, who doesn't?
"Because," said Malfoy, and leaned forward until his face was inches from Seamus? "If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. Got that?"
Seamus just stared.
"And if you tell anyone what I just said, I will still beat you to death with a shovel. I want to be very clear about this, Finnegan. Do you understand me?"
Seamus found his voice, although it was fainter than usual. "A shovel?"
"That's right. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Keep it in mind," said Malfoy shortly, stepped back, and walked away from Seamus without looking back.~DV
Monday, August 04, 2003
Monday, July 28, 2003
I'm so irritated. Everytime I'm home, I feel so carefree andlazy but everytime I'm in school, I feel so stressed & just want to run away...
My life is nothing right now but a fight with my conscience to study. Other than that, it's pretty boring. Except when I sleep. When I sleep, I dream. When I dream, I'm free. When I'm free, I'm happy...
"I'm not following you. We just happen to be going the same way at the same speed." ~ Neopian Times
.
My life is nothing right now but a fight with my conscience to study. Other than that, it's pretty boring. Except when I sleep. When I sleep, I dream. When I dream, I'm free. When I'm free, I'm happy...
"I'm not following you. We just happen to be going the same way at the same speed." ~ Neopian Times
.
Friday, July 25, 2003
My friend so funny. We were in the canteen eating and got to the topic of mothers and she said, "My mother sucks." Then she looked around & said, "Oops, is she around?" Then she sighed, "I meant for her to hear it."
If anybody ever listen to other people's lives at home, it's horrible. Some mothers actually pull the hair of their children till it feels like falling of for a whole week. Some of our closest friends experience hell at home. I feel so sorry. I never get to experience those kind of things. My parents have never really canned me or force me to do something. Maybe in primary school lar but still not as bad as other people. Sigh...
"I always thought I would follow you up to the gates of Hell if I had to. And that, once arriving there, I would beg the gatekeeper to take me instead of you. And if he must take you, I would ask to come with you. And if he would not let me come with you, I would wait for you on the shores of the river." ~DV
If anybody ever listen to other people's lives at home, it's horrible. Some mothers actually pull the hair of their children till it feels like falling of for a whole week. Some of our closest friends experience hell at home. I feel so sorry. I never get to experience those kind of things. My parents have never really canned me or force me to do something. Maybe in primary school lar but still not as bad as other people. Sigh...
"I always thought I would follow you up to the gates of Hell if I had to. And that, once arriving there, I would beg the gatekeeper to take me instead of you. And if he must take you, I would ask to come with you. And if he would not let me come with you, I would wait for you on the shores of the river." ~DV
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Lalala. I'm bored...yeah, I'm supposed to be studying...lalala...should I really be a doctor? I wanna get married by 24...so how? If I don't get married then...Singapore's birth rate will continue going down...heh, am I really worried about that? Haha.
I'm getting bored of red. Seriously (Sirius is dead! Waaah!), my favourite colour is actually silver...it used to be white because it is plain, clean and pure...but I took a stupid test which says those who like white are old-fashioned...oh well. I probably am. But then all colours are nice...each one is unique and just as beautiful as any another...yupz.
"It was hot in the filament. The energy got me out." ~ physics lesson on CRO
I'm getting bored of red. Seriously (Sirius is dead! Waaah!), my favourite colour is actually silver...it used to be white because it is plain, clean and pure...but I took a stupid test which says those who like white are old-fashioned...oh well. I probably am. But then all colours are nice...each one is unique and just as beautiful as any another...yupz.
"It was hot in the filament. The energy got me out." ~ physics lesson on CRO
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Clark Kent is such an idiot. I feel so so sorry for Lex. How could Clark leave him like that? Why can't Clark even thank him? Argh...the jealousy and everything. It's not fair that Clark has everything and Lex doesn't. It is sooo not his fault. Why must life be so unfair?
Oh, oh, Indonesia is showing Charm again! And I can't believe Cole is still crazy over Phoebe. If Cole just kills himself, than he'll make Phoebe happy. But did he do that? Nooo...he had to come back to life and go after her just to be with her for the rest of his life. And Phoebe is pregnant. Finally! A baby, yeah!
Just look at me. Everybody else is studying while I'm still watching teevee. When am I going to prove myself to my family? This is so not working...
"Oh, give it up, Harry," yelled Draco in exasperation. "Is there somebody else?"
Harry banged his fist down so hard on the bar that the glasses rattled. Draco was conscious of the fat wizard on his right giving them a peculiar look. He was also conscious that his last question to Harry might easily be misunderstood if one hadn't carefully listened to the conversation previously. Oh well.
"There is nobody else!" Harry shouted. "There never will be anybody else, not for me, not ever!"
The fat wizard nudged Draco in the ribs with his wand. "I think he really means it," he hissed in Draco’s ear. "Come on, give him another chance."
"Oh, shut up," said Draco, not turning around.
~DV
Oh, oh, Indonesia is showing Charm again! And I can't believe Cole is still crazy over Phoebe. If Cole just kills himself, than he'll make Phoebe happy. But did he do that? Nooo...he had to come back to life and go after her just to be with her for the rest of his life. And Phoebe is pregnant. Finally! A baby, yeah!
Just look at me. Everybody else is studying while I'm still watching teevee. When am I going to prove myself to my family? This is so not working...
"Oh, give it up, Harry," yelled Draco in exasperation. "Is there somebody else?"
Harry banged his fist down so hard on the bar that the glasses rattled. Draco was conscious of the fat wizard on his right giving them a peculiar look. He was also conscious that his last question to Harry might easily be misunderstood if one hadn't carefully listened to the conversation previously. Oh well.
"There is nobody else!" Harry shouted. "There never will be anybody else, not for me, not ever!"
The fat wizard nudged Draco in the ribs with his wand. "I think he really means it," he hissed in Draco’s ear. "Come on, give him another chance."
"Oh, shut up," said Draco, not turning around.
~DV
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Yeah! I've finished my prelim orals! I'm sooo glad it's over. Though I did not do good in it. I was too...dull. I wasn't like engaging during the conversation and my tongue slipped over the word "upset" and I almost forgot to make eye contact! Oh sigh...I feel so bad...but I guess I have to move on...
Moving on to the case of having a library fine of $10.40. It was so stupid! I actually borrowed out a book from the reference section. I didn't pay the fine (are you nuts?) 'cause it was just a mistake. Gosh...$10.40...my mum would've killed me.
Oh wait! I just remembered Tissina! She was the first person being oralled and probably made a damn good impression...calm down, girl. At least it's OVER.
"You want to do stretching just do stretching. Or you can massage your ears." Guess who? (Maria Ho, duh)
Moving on to the case of having a library fine of $10.40. It was so stupid! I actually borrowed out a book from the reference section. I didn't pay the fine (are you nuts?) 'cause it was just a mistake. Gosh...$10.40...my mum would've killed me.
Oh wait! I just remembered Tissina! She was the first person being oralled and probably made a damn good impression...calm down, girl. At least it's OVER.
"You want to do stretching just do stretching. Or you can massage your ears." Guess who? (Maria Ho, duh)
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Orals tomorrow. Yeah.
So Superman is finally going to learn how to fly. Must not miss the next show. And why oh why must Lex turn over to the dark side? So SAD!
They were advertising this CD during Friends and Smallville last night and they keep playing this stupid song over and over again -- actually only one phrase -- and now it's stuck in my head:
"I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you"
So Superman is finally going to learn how to fly. Must not miss the next show. And why oh why must Lex turn over to the dark side? So SAD!
They were advertising this CD during Friends and Smallville last night and they keep playing this stupid song over and over again -- actually only one phrase -- and now it's stuck in my head:
"I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you"
Monday, July 14, 2003
Just got back from SS remedial. It wasn't that bad. I don't even know why I dread it. I always dread SS, Geo and Bio. Scared they call me to come up and start asking why I never do well. And Bio is supposed to be easy too. Bleagh, I feel stupid things. My idioticness just kills me. And I felt so stressed when I reach school today. I feel that I'm more stressed in school than at home. When I'm home, I can relax so much and procrastinate all the way until the next day and realise I havem't done a single thing and so wake up at 4a.m. to do homework and sleep again at 5. Very nice.
Hope I did okay in English. Hope eli did okay.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for."~Draco Veritas.
Hope I did okay in English. Hope eli did okay.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for."~Draco Veritas.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
I hate my father. I hate him for hurting me like this. Gosh, his words can be so hard...or maybe I'm the one who's so weak. He always tells me to do my best. I guess he really wants me to go for it. Probably expecting me to go RJC. And I'm gonna break his heart when he realise that it is false hope. Sigh...I am such an unfilial daughter...I mean, I actually slept the whole of Saturday...20 hours or sth. It's amazing how much we can sleep. And I'm not even tired. Just LAZY. Such a horrible word. Especially at this time of the year.
Oh, I guess my blog is bloody red isn't it? And it hurts like hell, doesn't it? It irritates people and glares at people and makes them squint away...red is so evil...Guess it's time to call Jiawen again. How much do you want me to pay this time, Jiawen?
"If you don't start persisting from now, how are you going to get there?" Ummu Choo.is
Oh, I guess my blog is bloody red isn't it? And it hurts like hell, doesn't it? It irritates people and glares at people and makes them squint away...red is so evil...Guess it's time to call Jiawen again. How much do you want me to pay this time, Jiawen?
"If you don't start persisting from now, how are you going to get there?" Ummu Choo.is
Thursday, July 10, 2003
I'm procrastinating. And I actually hate it. Okay, who am I kidding? I can't do this. I have to start studying.
Anyway, do you know that chocolates can make you happy? Then your body will produce endorphins and so your emotional state of mind will be happy and peaceful...ah...but try not to eat too much as it is quite addictive and can burn a hole in your pocket, which will make you emotionally insecure...not to mention physically insecure... Anyway, do you also know that chocolates contain chemicals that are fatal to dogs? Interesting...
Oh question: how do we make our blog password-prove. As in, whoever wants to read it have to type in password? Like what Pam did?
"Why do you keep writing my name?! I'm not from 4/2!" Eli, Vic and co at the sign up sheet for swim comp. (Imagine their squelling voices...no offence...)
Anyway, do you know that chocolates can make you happy? Then your body will produce endorphins and so your emotional state of mind will be happy and peaceful...ah...but try not to eat too much as it is quite addictive and can burn a hole in your pocket, which will make you emotionally insecure...not to mention physically insecure... Anyway, do you also know that chocolates contain chemicals that are fatal to dogs? Interesting...
Oh question: how do we make our blog password-prove. As in, whoever wants to read it have to type in password? Like what Pam did?
"Why do you keep writing my name?! I'm not from 4/2!" Eli, Vic and co at the sign up sheet for swim comp. (Imagine their squelling voices...no offence...)
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Hello. I am not depressed. Of course I'm not. I'll just be regretting later on in life. Ah well, that's later. I'd rather procrastinate and enjoy now. My parents don't really care anyway...
Oh, Mrs Tan YH gave us chocolates today...I can't believe it. She's so damn nice. I LOVE her...although she was quite fast today during lesson.
"You waste so much money you want people to smell you, right?" Tan YH (lesson on alcohol and perfume)
Oh, Mrs Tan YH gave us chocolates today...I can't believe it. She's so damn nice. I LOVE her...although she was quite fast today during lesson.
"You waste so much money you want people to smell you, right?" Tan YH (lesson on alcohol and perfume)
Sunday, July 06, 2003
We went for dinner at Suntec yesterday but we had difficulty finding a halal restaurant. I felt so freaking guilty cuz I'm the only malay...I am so irresponsible & never take initiative to find a halal restaurant in Suntec before...Inever go out often anyway...sigh...I hate this...oh, yesterday was the last day I'm going to go for any Red Cross function. Yeah! I'm gonna miss it, sure...but I can't wait to move on!
Listening compre was okay. Dunno y I feel so confident I can get all correct. I hate that feeling. Everytime I feel it, I'm sure to get almost all wrong...
“Suatu renungan untuk sebuah bayang:
Kemanisan hanya dapat dirasakan
setelah puas kepahitan dinikmati.”
Listening compre was okay. Dunno y I feel so confident I can get all correct. I hate that feeling. Everytime I feel it, I'm sure to get almost all wrong...
“Suatu renungan untuk sebuah bayang:
Kemanisan hanya dapat dirasakan
setelah puas kepahitan dinikmati.”
Friday, July 04, 2003
Thursday, July 03, 2003
New blogger? Ha. So funny...
I've just been told that I can take 105 without crossing the street, then drop at Toa Payoh & take 8 from there to go home. 40 min. Man, I feel so stupid. I could have saved 20 min from each day, that would be 100min for each week, 400min for each month and 4800min for each year...
So, yeah, I took 105 with sham today and ended up wasting half an hour acting like tourists, taking pamphletes and loooking through it because...we kinda got lost. And it was raining too...
It wasn't that bad lar...I guess we have to make a few mistakes before we can reach our goals...
Malay 'O's orals were bad...I might just get another merit...I had been aiming for distinction...ugh...& they asked abt our impian...aim in life I think...& I crapped about being a doctor (which will be almost (just almost) impossible), but I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to be when I grow up...
Hmm...my blog page looks funny...& I don't even know how to work all this html stuff...umm...help?
Oh, OOP was great...I miss Sirius already...I can't stand Rowling, how can she do that? She'll probably make Harry be killed by Voldemort in the seventh book then all the good people will die then Voldemort will stand there laughing then suddenly Fawkes will swoop down and kill him with fire-breath or something...umm...yeah...
And...in DV, Draco slept with Hermione...not Ginny...but I bet he will soon...that two-headed freak...
Why do I sound like I'm hating everything? I don't, really...I just find things so...not exciting these days...I'm not even worried about the 'O's...yet. Maybe I will, maybe I won't...I dunno...I just can't be bothered to study...I can't care less about anything these days...but I don't see anything wrong with it...don't tell me that I'll regret later on 'cause I know I will...but there's just something stopping me...and I'm happy it is...
"Rush headlong and hard at life
Or just sit at home and wait.
All things good and all the wrong
Will come right to you: it's fate.
Hear the music, dance if you can.
Dress in rags or wear your jewels.
Drink your choice, nurse your fear
In this old honkytonk of fools."
~The Book of Counted Sorrows by Dean Koontz
I've just been told that I can take 105 without crossing the street, then drop at Toa Payoh & take 8 from there to go home. 40 min. Man, I feel so stupid. I could have saved 20 min from each day, that would be 100min for each week, 400min for each month and 4800min for each year...
So, yeah, I took 105 with sham today and ended up wasting half an hour acting like tourists, taking pamphletes and loooking through it because...we kinda got lost. And it was raining too...
It wasn't that bad lar...I guess we have to make a few mistakes before we can reach our goals...
Malay 'O's orals were bad...I might just get another merit...I had been aiming for distinction...ugh...& they asked abt our impian...aim in life I think...& I crapped about being a doctor (which will be almost (just almost) impossible), but I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to be when I grow up...
Hmm...my blog page looks funny...& I don't even know how to work all this html stuff...umm...help?
Oh, OOP was great...I miss Sirius already...I can't stand Rowling, how can she do that? She'll probably make Harry be killed by Voldemort in the seventh book then all the good people will die then Voldemort will stand there laughing then suddenly Fawkes will swoop down and kill him with fire-breath or something...umm...yeah...
And...in DV, Draco slept with Hermione...not Ginny...but I bet he will soon...that two-headed freak...
Why do I sound like I'm hating everything? I don't, really...I just find things so...not exciting these days...I'm not even worried about the 'O's...yet. Maybe I will, maybe I won't...I dunno...I just can't be bothered to study...I can't care less about anything these days...but I don't see anything wrong with it...don't tell me that I'll regret later on 'cause I know I will...but there's just something stopping me...and I'm happy it is...
"Rush headlong and hard at life
Or just sit at home and wait.
All things good and all the wrong
Will come right to you: it's fate.
Hear the music, dance if you can.
Dress in rags or wear your jewels.
Drink your choice, nurse your fear
In this old honkytonk of fools."
~The Book of Counted Sorrows by Dean Koontz
Friday, May 23, 2003
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
"Mudah-mudahan, capailah cita-cita adik. Itu saja yang cik ucapkan"~pakcik yang jual curry puff.
How can I? How can I? I've tried so hard...& I'm still trying...but I just keep thinking that it's too late. It isn't too late, is it? Is it?
I think I'm suffering from emotional stress, unlike other people who suffer from stress because of school work...then again, it's just something I made up. Oh well.
"Every sixty seconds, thirty acres of rain forest are destroyed in order to raise beef for fast food restaurants that sell it to people, giving them strokes and heart attacks, which raise medical costs and insurance rates, providing insurance companies with more money to invest in large corporations that branch out further into the Third World so they can destroy more rain forests."
-- George Carlin, comedian.
ouch.
How can I? How can I? I've tried so hard...& I'm still trying...but I just keep thinking that it's too late. It isn't too late, is it? Is it?
I think I'm suffering from emotional stress, unlike other people who suffer from stress because of school work...then again, it's just something I made up. Oh well.
"Every sixty seconds, thirty acres of rain forest are destroyed in order to raise beef for fast food restaurants that sell it to people, giving them strokes and heart attacks, which raise medical costs and insurance rates, providing insurance companies with more money to invest in large corporations that branch out further into the Third World so they can destroy more rain forests."
-- George Carlin, comedian.
ouch.
Monday, April 28, 2003
I can't believe I slept throuhout the whole Amaths remedial lesson. it's been some time since i slept in class. And I was sitting in the frontest row too. Didn't Ms Koh notice? What's worse is i have no idea what was happening and now i have lots of questions which i still don't know how to do. What's the point of a remedial lesson if i actually slept through it?
I failed my geo and i know i'm gonna fail my bio and ss too. damn. i have to work harder.
"All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing."-- Edmund Burke, Brittish political philosopher.
I failed my geo and i know i'm gonna fail my bio and ss too. damn. i have to work harder.
"All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing."-- Edmund Burke, Brittish political philosopher.
Friday, April 25, 2003
But i was right in front of u when i was depressed. i've always been in front of u when i'm depressed. Sigh...I just broke down yesterday, kay? Nothin serious. It's bound to happen. Anyway I've made my decision to become a science student. I want my parents to be proud of me. But I must work hard to achieve that.
"Life without meaning
cannot be borne
We find a mission
to which we're sworn
-- or answer the call
of Death's dark horn
Without a gleaming
of purpose in life,
we have no vision,
we live in strife,
-- or let blood fall
on a suicide knife."
~The Book of Counted Sorrows
"Life without meaning
cannot be borne
We find a mission
to which we're sworn
-- or answer the call
of Death's dark horn
Without a gleaming
of purpose in life,
we have no vision,
we live in strife,
-- or let blood fall
on a suicide knife."
~The Book of Counted Sorrows
Thursday, April 24, 2003
GoD, I hate my life. Never thought i'd ever be saying that again but here I am HatinG My LiFe. I never wanted this to happen but here I am. Well, serves me right for keeping things to myself. My father warned me that this would happen. But hell, did I listen? No. Cry cry cry. I havent cried since so long...but it sure makes me feel better. Sure. And me life is still a mess. I hate them. I hate me for hating them. It's not even their fault. It's my fault. It has always been my fault. If I had made an effort to change, then they would change too. But I didn't. Hate myself for that. I have like a thousand billion reasons to hate myself right now. What's the point? Do I wanna be in the science stream or not? How come Shamiah was hesitant when I asked her if she wants to? Wat does that mean? What does that make me? I looser? I don't even have a goal in life...unlike jiawen. Damn it. Here I am trying to hold back my tears. Why, cuz I'm in school. I know I can't go home. If i do then I'll cry on the bus again, like last month. or was it last two months? How can time travel so fast? I shouldn't even be asking that question. I...really...really...need...a friend. There, I've said it. You know what? I'll just say the truth. I cant be a loner. But the thing is nobody will understand me. Who can I turn to? I was searching up and down for someone during lunch. I found one. And I was like, "Man, lucky thing she's here. Who knows what will happen if I didn't find anybody?" Well, I know now. And now, I have no idea what to do. It's times like these when I wish I can die. Can't find noone to stop these tears. Can't find noone to make it all go away. And it's all my fault...You know, I do want to be a science student. But I'm not making the effort to. What now? Is it still not too late? How can I continue with my life right now? How can I? But hell. I can't stay typing on this computer forever. That is never going to happen. But I don't wanna get out of here. All those people outside...sigh. Nothing I can do about it. By the way pam, thanks for signing into my guestbook. You'll never know how a few words can make a single person smile. I wish I could do that... Well, time to get on with my life & face the music. Well, partly because all those people outside are now coming in. Gottogo.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
You have GOT to read this.
Ravenclaw Common Room:
"This is our common room entrance." Rachael gestured to the tapestry of a waterfall on the wall. "The password is easy. All you have to do to get in is tap it three times with your right hand. It's been charmed to recognize all the Ravenclaws, including you."
...
The Ravenclaw common room was amazing. It was large and circular, with one third of its walls devoted to bookcases and one third glass. The glass sections were like giant windows. You could see the lake and Hogsmeade Station from one, and the other towers and roofs of Hogwarts from the other.
The bookcase wall section was easily four stories high, with narrow wrought-iron platforms that reminded Harry of theater catwalks lining the bottom of each level of bookcases, and thin ladders connecting one level to another.
The ceiling was sloped, rising to a peak high above their heads. The common room was situated at the top of the tower, so it made sense. Hanging from the peak was a large duplicate of the Ravenclaw banner, as it was displayed in the Great Hall.
Harry turned around, and saw the last third of wall space. It was stone, but it was cheery and bedecked with 18 blue tapestries, one next to another. Harry saw that 14 of them were numbered 1-7, two at each number, one displayed a plate of fruits, one displayed a table of books, one displayed a sunny field, and one displayed a candlelit corridor.
All around the common room, there were chairs and couches. It had a huge amount of floor space, and most of it was efficiently used. There were four chess tables, with chairs on either side of them, study tables with between two and six chairs around them, cozy clumps of couches and chairs, and solitary chairs with small tables for reading. All of the furniture was either the same shade of glittery brown or a various shade of complementary blue.
The carpet was thick, lush blue shag, and when Harry lifted his foot it sprang back up about two inches from where his foot had crushed it.
"Behind us are the Ravenclaw portals." Rachael spoke again, gathering the attentions of the first-years. "The portals to the first year dormitories are labeled with ones, as you may notice. The portal to the girl's dorm has the picture of the woman, and the portal to the boy's dorm has the picture of the man. Once again, all you have to do is tap your right hand three times, and the wall will fade. Step through, and you'll be in your dormitory. They are magical transportation portals. All of the dormitories are really on lower levels of the tower." Rachael paused, and a few of the girls squealed excitedly. "The tapestry with the fruit is the portal to the Entrance Hall, right next to the doors to the Great Hall. The tapestry with the books is the portal to the library, though the Rowena Ravenclaw library is here for our use. The tapestry with the field will take you just outside the castle, onto the grounds. The tapestry with the corridor will take you back the way you came, to this hallway.You tap three times for all of those as well."
"The portals to the Great Hall, library, and outside work both ways as well. If you are in those places, you'll see a bronze stone in the wall, along with the normal stones. Tap on it three times to come back to the common room. Oh, and all the glass in the tower is one-way only. No one can see in."
~Stopper Death: Aconite by A 2946 [fanfiction.net]
Cool, huh? I LOVE the windows and teleporting part. Can I be in Ravenclaw now?
Ravenclaw Common Room:
"This is our common room entrance." Rachael gestured to the tapestry of a waterfall on the wall. "The password is easy. All you have to do to get in is tap it three times with your right hand. It's been charmed to recognize all the Ravenclaws, including you."
...
The Ravenclaw common room was amazing. It was large and circular, with one third of its walls devoted to bookcases and one third glass. The glass sections were like giant windows. You could see the lake and Hogsmeade Station from one, and the other towers and roofs of Hogwarts from the other.
The bookcase wall section was easily four stories high, with narrow wrought-iron platforms that reminded Harry of theater catwalks lining the bottom of each level of bookcases, and thin ladders connecting one level to another.
The ceiling was sloped, rising to a peak high above their heads. The common room was situated at the top of the tower, so it made sense. Hanging from the peak was a large duplicate of the Ravenclaw banner, as it was displayed in the Great Hall.
Harry turned around, and saw the last third of wall space. It was stone, but it was cheery and bedecked with 18 blue tapestries, one next to another. Harry saw that 14 of them were numbered 1-7, two at each number, one displayed a plate of fruits, one displayed a table of books, one displayed a sunny field, and one displayed a candlelit corridor.
All around the common room, there were chairs and couches. It had a huge amount of floor space, and most of it was efficiently used. There were four chess tables, with chairs on either side of them, study tables with between two and six chairs around them, cozy clumps of couches and chairs, and solitary chairs with small tables for reading. All of the furniture was either the same shade of glittery brown or a various shade of complementary blue.
The carpet was thick, lush blue shag, and when Harry lifted his foot it sprang back up about two inches from where his foot had crushed it.
"Behind us are the Ravenclaw portals." Rachael spoke again, gathering the attentions of the first-years. "The portals to the first year dormitories are labeled with ones, as you may notice. The portal to the girl's dorm has the picture of the woman, and the portal to the boy's dorm has the picture of the man. Once again, all you have to do is tap your right hand three times, and the wall will fade. Step through, and you'll be in your dormitory. They are magical transportation portals. All of the dormitories are really on lower levels of the tower." Rachael paused, and a few of the girls squealed excitedly. "The tapestry with the fruit is the portal to the Entrance Hall, right next to the doors to the Great Hall. The tapestry with the books is the portal to the library, though the Rowena Ravenclaw library is here for our use. The tapestry with the field will take you just outside the castle, onto the grounds. The tapestry with the corridor will take you back the way you came, to this hallway.You tap three times for all of those as well."
"The portals to the Great Hall, library, and outside work both ways as well. If you are in those places, you'll see a bronze stone in the wall, along with the normal stones. Tap on it three times to come back to the common room. Oh, and all the glass in the tower is one-way only. No one can see in."
~Stopper Death: Aconite by A 2946 [fanfiction.net]
Cool, huh? I LOVE the windows and teleporting part. Can I be in Ravenclaw now?
Monday, April 14, 2003
Okay, I've read DV12 and am irritated that Draco slept with Ginny, irritated that fake Draco kissed Harry, irritated that she let Tom enter Seamus's body, irritated that Dumbledore sent Harry to live with the Dursleys...and now I'm bored. Can somebody please recommend me some good hp fanfics?
But seriously, what's Dumbledore's problem anyway? That big old dope is just causing mischieve...thinking that he can defeat Voldemort? Thinking that he can make plans by looking at Draco's dreams? Didn't he suspect ANYTHING about those dreams? Even I had thought of the dreams as a set up. I hate Dumbledore. What do I care if you die? Hell, you're already dead.
But seriously, what's Dumbledore's problem anyway? That big old dope is just causing mischieve...thinking that he can defeat Voldemort? Thinking that he can make plans by looking at Draco's dreams? Didn't he suspect ANYTHING about those dreams? Even I had thought of the dreams as a set up. I hate Dumbledore. What do I care if you die? Hell, you're already dead.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
"Where’s Ron?"
"I’m here," said Ron’s voice, from a spot next to Draco. "Why?"
"Erm," said Hermione, staring.
"I threw the Invisibility Cloak on him," said Draco blandly. "I got sick of looking at his face."
There was a sputtering sound, and Ron reappeared, having wriggled out from under the cloak he had, apparently, not noticed he was wearing. He was glaring at Draco again, and quite pink around the ears. "You – sodding – bastard –"
~From Draco Sinister
I just love it. Anyway, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, lalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Another ten months time. Yeah! Ugh, that makes me wonder, what will I be doing then?
"I’m here," said Ron’s voice, from a spot next to Draco. "Why?"
"Erm," said Hermione, staring.
"I threw the Invisibility Cloak on him," said Draco blandly. "I got sick of looking at his face."
There was a sputtering sound, and Ron reappeared, having wriggled out from under the cloak he had, apparently, not noticed he was wearing. He was glaring at Draco again, and quite pink around the ears. "You – sodding – bastard –"
~From Draco Sinister
I just love it. Anyway, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, lalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Another ten months time. Yeah! Ugh, that makes me wonder, what will I be doing then?
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Freaking. Why must they keep changing the stupid thing? Stupid Ning. Don't wanna take responsibility of us izzit? Then might as well not be in charge of a CCA. I can't stand her. And the others also don't want to make an effort. Everybody relies on everybody else. Everybody blames everybody else. Why can't that freaking idiot just quit if she really doesn't care? Yar sure, and our manpower just becomes lesser and lesser. You already have your duty, so stick to it. Why push the responsibility to other people? And you know what she said? She said, "There's no point working so hard because nothing's going to get out of it." Argh. I especially hate her mother. She's making all this impossible! And what did my father say? He said, "It's the same when you start working." Man, if this is how it is in school, it's going to be hell when I start working. I just can't see why they can't do it. It's not that difficult lor. I hate everybody. I especially hate myself. Because it's my fault. It's always my fault. As quoted from Elizabeth, I'm a "two-headed snake." Destroying relationships, that's my job.
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Something bad happened today. The thing is, I can't tell anybody. She's too private about it. But it's not that bad. But still VERY bad. Is it our fault? Is it MY fault? Yes, of course it is. I am a HAPPY person, so it's my fault.
...Anyway, rgsrcy was doing urban hike at Orchard just now and we jogged back to school in two straight rows, with me at running the back. And smart me was wearing the "Why run when you can FLY?" t-shirt (202 t-shirt) and everybody who saw the group was like saying, "Fly lar, fly lar! Why are you still running?" Boliao.
I just love this poem:
"Darkness breaks, Moon awakes.
Night now brings the stars it makes.
Moon beams fall, Light up all.
From silvery woods there comes a call.
Grayish blur, Shaggy fur.
Food is this night creatures lure.
Brown deer, Very near.
It is brought down full of fear.
Deadly bite, Very tight.
Every wolf will feast tonight."
...Anyway, rgsrcy was doing urban hike at Orchard just now and we jogged back to school in two straight rows, with me at running the back. And smart me was wearing the "Why run when you can FLY?" t-shirt (202 t-shirt) and everybody who saw the group was like saying, "Fly lar, fly lar! Why are you still running?" Boliao.
I just love this poem:
"Darkness breaks, Moon awakes.
Night now brings the stars it makes.
Moon beams fall, Light up all.
From silvery woods there comes a call.
Grayish blur, Shaggy fur.
Food is this night creatures lure.
Brown deer, Very near.
It is brought down full of fear.
Deadly bite, Very tight.
Every wolf will feast tonight."
Friday, February 28, 2003
I got a B3 for my Malay! Yeah! Hell...what's happening to me? Anyway, I've decided to not worry and be HAPPY. I've gotten over my depression mood and am now officially HAPPY! I just LOVE my life! I will never think of giving it up ever again. I will now work harder. I'm planning to get an A1 for Higher Malay. I know I can. "If I think I can, I might. If I think I can't, I am right." Wow, I actually remember Maria Ho's quotes...South District Footdrill Competition is tomorrow and I can't wait to get it done and over with. After that there's the National Footdrill Competition (if we actually get in). I'm nervous, sure, but I'm not worrying now. Later. You know, one of the tips in that Being A Happy Teenager book is to write down all the things I have to worry about then write down a date when I can just sit and worry about all that. In the meantime, I can be HAPPY! And by the time that date have come, all the things to worry about it probably over! Yeah! Heehee...man, can you believe me? I know that other person who got a B3 too...but let's plan to work hard together, kay? The whole day today Jaime was repeating to me, "Let's work hard". And I will. I promise. Thanks everybody, for being there for me whenever I'm down, especially Jaime. She's a weird girl. You people have made a great difference in my life. And I now hope that I do in yours.
Yeah! Woohoo! I'm HAPPY! I feel like I can take on anything in the world! Come and try me...
Yeah! Woohoo! I'm HAPPY! I feel like I can take on anything in the world! Come and try me...
Sunday, February 09, 2003
Oh, come on, Munirah. It's your Sixteenth birthday! Why are you still crying, huh? Imagine, sixteen years ago, you were just a tiny infant being carried in your mummy's...
You just HAVE to bring my mum into the picture, dont you?
Ugh! Why the hell am I typing this into my blog? Right, because life sucks. And just because I've lived sixteen years of my life does not mean life is going to get any better.
You just HAVE to bring my mum into the picture, dont you?
Ugh! Why the hell am I typing this into my blog? Right, because life sucks. And just because I've lived sixteen years of my life does not mean life is going to get any better.