How do people shop for so long? I'm so not cut out for shopping man...dog-tired I am...from Orchard, Bugis, then to East Coast Beach with Bell...

Oh then on our way to Parkway, guess who we saw? Derek! (Who was on his way to soccer at the beach...hehe.) We asked him to take a picture with us and he refused! Big surprise there. But then that's what makes him so cute.

Anyway, I'm seeing this repeat of history from exactly two years ago, where my blog is pimpled with depressing words and friends start to fill up my guestbook with sweet words of encouragement...

Well I don't deserve to enjoy myself after being so lazy...I'm a smart girl and could have done much better in my As...

But then its over. Just like that.

‘I’m bored,’ said Sirius. ‘wish it was full moon.’

‘You might,’ said Lupin darkly from behind his book. ‘We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. Here…’ and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. ‘I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.’ ~OotP

Alas, I'm not Sirius nor a super-genius like my other friends...so I shall have to, yap, study.

Oh how am I supposed to wait till the 28th to watch GoF???

And that Eric can be such an arsehole . Why does he even bother to ask me why I don't study with him? Which I did on Saturday...gah...I must learn to say no when someone ask me out, to study, to eat or to whatever...

Oh erm...I was just kidding about the slap ^_^

Hate. Cambridge. Dig. Hole. Bury. Me.

Gah...do you know...I have this communication problem...with my friends, my family, with everybody...I can't speak to anyone so I keep to myself and get depressed...

Maybe because one of my greatest fear is of embarrassing myself...in the things I do, the stuff I say...and I had been having nightmares about them too...

One nightmare in which I'm walking in this house where I see the faces of every person I know and all have them have grown to become a successful person and I'm still a nobody, just a disappointment, an embarrassment of this generation of my family...

Sigh...I'm swimming in this gloomy sea of depression and hopelessness which I don't know when I'm getting out of...I'm so bloody pathetic somebody please slap me.

Some quotes from the class which give me a smile:

"Listen attention!"
~Joanne who fused 'listen to the teacher' & 'pay attention' together

"No wonder I got it correct!"
~Maths class when Ms Lam told us one of the answers to the tutorial is wrong

"Cher, I got one question for you: Huh?"
~Asyraf, Maths class, after Ms Lam read a particularly long question, with the reply of a very quiet class

"I'm trying to concentrate too!"
~Adam, GP class, when everyone's quietly doing comprehension & he suddenly read out a sentence from the passage & Ms Wee told him that the class is trying to concentrate

"Cher, each person has two hands!"
~Maths class, when doing a probability question involving the number of ways to shake hands with 8 people.

"Ask the wall, ask the wall!"
~Maths class, when Ms Lam asked Baba a question & he pointed beside him to Shafiq & said, "Ask Shafiq, ask Shafiq!" & Shafiq pointed beside him to Asyraf & said, "Ask Asyraf, ask Asyraf!" & Asyraf pointed beside him to the wall & said, "Ask the wall, ask the wall!"

-----

And some quotes I'll re-post because it's cute:

"What's manuscript?" ~Shafiq
"It means Manchester United script." ~Adam
(GP lesson)

"I'm going to take off my shoe and throw it at this guy..."
~Shafiq, about Dexter.

"You know, Osama shouldn't kill all those people in the two towers...he should kill this guy instead."
~Shafiq, about Dexter.

"If those people had died, that's it lah. I would seriously run away lah."
~Alvin, when ice-skating with some of my classmates & he made Bernice bump into a group of people.

-----

And then there's today's Maths class when half-way through a question, all the guys whipped out their handphones and cameras asking Ms Lam to pose so they can take a picture of her, & Ms Lam just stood there covering her face with a paper & in exasperation, shouted, "Liling!" for no reason.

Sigh...I'm going to miss the class.

-----

And these are the quotes from my rock climbing teachers to motivate myself:

"Concentrate on the process, don't think of the outcome." ~Ms Goh

"Keep going, you're reaching the finishing line!" ~Ms Lim

Bad results bad results bad results...when will I ever learn to discipline myself to study? I so totally don't deserve to watch Corpse Bride on Wednesday...

A friend sent me a picture, my fingers got itchy and I started twidling with the html in the template and VoilA! I made it all by myself, yes I did, my very first skin! GOsh, the stress...argh...the html was driving me nuts and I sat in front of the computer for 12 whole hours straight! Yes, exageration as always...but look at the end product and man the feeling is good! I now officially claim myself as the master of html! Who wants me to design their blogs for them raise your hands!

Ok, kidding, I'm only an amatuer...oh sigh...

Alrighty then, Kaimisuki has gone for a total makeover and I do hope someone comes along to see it...hehe...but will this gal continue blogging? We'll see...and I can't decide about the tagboard either...but I don't care...right now...all I want...is my Zzzs...

Depression...gah...have anybody seen Eric lately? He's either in the school library studying or with Ms Lam asking about numerical methods or something like that...well, ya I'm exagerating...but can somebody please tell me how a slacker can all of a sudden be vEry motivated to study?

I myself am struggling trying to keep up...sigh...went to the beach to study with Bell who fell asleep in the cool wind...and I was looking at the horizon and wondering...how did they figure out that the world is not flat?

Anyway, how just how am I suppose to study when kak bought maryam a 500-pieces jigsaw puzzle for her birthday on Wednesday! And it's still not complete yet. There's two kittens, a black one with orange stripes and a totally white one in a totally pink background of pink cotton wool and pink strings and pink everything! And ya, they just leave the kittens sitting right there in front of my TV, with sweet half-done heads and cute pink noses looking at me with adorable eyes as if begging me to fix them whole...

So that's what I've been doing these days. I also spend time sitting in front of the computer beside my sister, longing to play what she's playing (neopets duh)...Well, she's a billionaire already lah! In neopoints of course...

Other than that...I've been admiring my 5 beautiful sunflower plants I planted from seeds. The flowers will bloom straight after my As end, or so the words on the packet imply...end of As...-dreamy look-...oh, then there's Rainbow, my gorgeous fighting fish (named by my little sister) who accompanies me at night while I study...

Hah...right...I end up reading HP&HBP instead. Heh...I've re-read it once already. Aint Snape just so cool in there...(I'm very certain that Dumbledore forced him to do it in the end). But then...I re-read HP&PoA and realise what a jerk he is...

I really want to read Lymond but I have to admit the vocabulary is a bit intimidating, as cool as he can be...sigh...

I saw Sham's list of things to do after As...wow...The only thing I look forward to is HP&GoF and that Narnia Chronicles movie...sigh...end of As ---regret?humiliation?---

Oh, wow, another entree in this long-dead blog? Ok ok, I miss my Kaimisuki a lot alright. One long post as an update for my rg friends and then another long break before the next update...haha...

Bored?
Mr Bombastick (go to animation and watch those episodes :))
The End of the World
Pie
Illama Song

But please remember to study because...if there's a will, there's a way. And if there's no will, there's nO way...

That's more a reminder for myself...

I do not whine about people not signing my guestbook. Don't sign lah, for all I care.

Anyway, I got in 3rd place...Am I good, or am I good?

Still got another competition this Saturday...that means Maybelle and I can study on Sunday...finally...

Gosh...Can you believe there's only 12 days of the holidays left...how am I suppose to study huh? And I'm so bloody tired...I think my muscles are going to break apart soon...

And that's an uber cool animation there.

I know a lot of people read my blog but I got no time to update often because of the upcoming common tests...and those who are reading this should bloody well know that they should be offline studying so get off the computer right now!

But I'm still going out anyway...watched Creep last Thursday with a group of people and nice sweet Adam bought us all popcorn to share (though I took most of the popcorn but that doesn't matter much). And also I bought Yi Fang a $1.50 birthday present... compared to the balloons she gave me, I am so lousy at getting presents for people...Speaking of which I forgot somebody's birthday which falls on the 9th of April...HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JW! I'll pop by your blog after...erm...soon...

Oh, and that Creep show was not a ghost story at all but a horror story with gory details about the Creep cutting and digging out a dead person's lungs and feeding it to the rats. I felt like puking lah especially with all that popcorn in my stomach... Yet I kind of cried during the show...the Creep just have this sad life and he didn't know or understand anything about us humans. But it was still a waste of money...gah...

Had heats today and I can't believe it's almost the last week of April already...and my freaking ankle still haven't heal yet. It hurt a little when I tried running before the race and tried to ignore it...the pain didn't come during the 100m sprint but after the sprint there was a sudden stabbing pain which makes me want to cut off my ankle and just get a new one... But I have to appreciate what I have...sighsighsigh... Anyway, I got into semi-finals but can I really go much further if I'm not running to the best of my ability? This sucks lah. I really miss those moments when I rush past the finishing line with people cheering for me...watching her cry after the 1x4m race made me feel like crying with disappointment that I can't run for my class this year...but I still have other events I haven't gone for so I shall contain my disappointment as yet.

I want Gundam Seed Destiny! I still haven't ordered HBP! And I want dark chocolate!

Oh, must remind myself to go for health screening with Ashley on 2nd May...

..

"So...did you put the cucumber into the donut yesterday?" ~Eric

5th place in the competition...not bad huh? I wish I could have done better though. There's still another 2 more competitions in June before I am done climbing for good, unless there's intra-college competition. Ah...another thing to look forward too...not. I still want to rest my ankle so that it's fully healed before I run for the Sport's Day heats, which is on the last week of April...Heal, ankle, heal!

Oh yeah, there was this question that was asked to one of our climbers before one of the competitions, "Do you believe in resting on the day before the competition or do you believe in sexual activities to arouse yourself?" ...or something like that lah... and the reply was, "No, no, I don't believe in such things. I sex daily."

...

You can just roll your eyes at him, you know...

Anyway, I've been wanting to read Queens Play but I've got no time! Sigh...but once I start, it's really hard to stop.

Why oh why must everyone be studying so hard these days? It's really irritating when I see slackers or should I say ex-slackers studying...

And there's still the month of July when HBP will be released. I can't wait...I haven't ordered yet though, so must do it soon...when I got time to go out...

You know, the day Ms Rukhaidah left us to go to Australia is quite sad...though I didn't feel it then, I suddenly feel it now...gosh, my reaction time is quite slow huh...love the part when she showed us the star in the apple...I told Ber I didn't cry then and she was like asking me why was I such a cold-hearted person...funny question really...

Ok, I've been online so long and yet I've not done what I intended to do...sigh...

..

"It's better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret."

Love Lymond. I was reading Queen's Play during the holidays...only read halfway though. Damn touching...he's poisoned and still wanted to help the queen. Everyone's worried about him but himself...isn't he just the perfect person everyone including me fall for? And I want to continue reading but must start on my work already...sigh.

At least I wasn't the only one who slacked during the hols. Though I shouldn't be thinking of it that way...Term 2 already...argh...how did he get straight As huh???

I still got competition this Friday, which I shouldn't have joined because of my ankle...I don't feel like climbing much these days...'cause of Daniel and his stupid idea that we shouldn't bother training since we are not climbing for the national competition which is in September, and that time it'll be our Prelims. Why did they push the nationals so far back...stupid lah...we had been winning the comp for so many years ...not fair that TPJC can't enter and win again...though I don't really mind not entering...feeling so tired these days...people got trouble not falling asleep, and I got trouble waking up. Sigh...

Wish I can slack lah...we ended early today 'cause we have no more malay lessons since we got our results already, so the girls went out to eat but Renny tagged along to chase after who else but that girl everyone knows he likes...damn irritating...making silly lame jokes and talking crap, those kind of crap where I keep telling him to shut up and he just keep repeating "Huh?". And usually when I say shut up, the other person will say something else, but not he. He just keep repeating the same irritating word...I wanted to slap his face lah...seriously...but still it was fun when he was aiming at others, namely Liling...haha...I guess he's quite cute...

But now I'm home and I've got work to do...

And I want chocolate...

..

"Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done."

My ankle is still swollen and I'm still walking all over Singapore...when will my ankle ever heal...well, actually I just went to Suntec (Career Fair) then to Shafia's place (to get RG Malay Drama tickets) then to RG itself for the drama...quite an eventful Saturday... and on Friday I saw my crush and he talked to me! He was collecting his As results and he saw my bandaged ankle and he talked to me! Gosh, I miss talking to him...and he got straight As too...he must become my idol so I can aim for straight As...yeah!

I sprained my ankle when I fell from rock climbing, which swelled to a disgusting size only 6 hours later at 1am, went to the doctor then and he said it might be a fracture which scared the hell out of me, 'cause competitions are coming up, but alhamdulillah it wasn't, after the x-ray was done. But it hurts when I have to limp all the way to Tampines Mall the next day to catch Howl's Moving Castle (such a sweet show), being left behind by my friends once or twice, trying to catch up and feeling irritated...as if I'm a burden to them...why do I have to sprain my ankle the day before the movie comes out?

And I really don't feel like doing any studying with an ankle like this. Eric was in the library handing out blank pieces of paper and telling people to prepare their time-table for A-levels and I happily told him I already made them. Of course, just because I already did my time-table doesn't mean I'm following it right? Man, this sucks...I hope I don't regret next year.

Oh, did you know that Constantine had a twin, but he strangled his twin with his umbilical cord when they were still in his mother's womb? Or so his dad told him...totally morbid...

..

"Her soul would go straight to Hell, where she'd be ripped into bloody chunks over and over in screaming brutal agony for all eternity." ~Constantine about Isabel

I asked my sister what to do when you love a guy but the guy does not love you back, and my sis said, "Just believe that he's gay."
That got a laugh out of me.

.

You have to be egoistic, otherwise you'll kill yourself. -Ber

Heh...see that colourful blinking banner at the side there saying "TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!"? See it? See the date up there at the top? See it? Hahaha...let's sing together! Happy birthday to me! Yeah...Oh it's such a b-e-a-utiful day!

And oh so beautiful Yifang gave me 18 small balloons as part of my birthday present, which I left all around the floor of my room yesterday. When I woke up this morning, I thought that my hamster was running around my room, but then realised they are just balloons...then later I went online to play games and felt something rub against my feet and again I thought it's my hamster, but again they are just the balloons...I miss my hamster so much...sigh...I can only find 15 of my balloons eh, and one of them is deflated...wonder where the other three went...

Hmm...I'm going airport Swensens, then go jalan-jalan with family later...might have some doa selamat also, since my extended family is going...quite excited but it's kind of weird going out with them...don't really feel like talking to them...why why why I do not know...should try to have fun anyway...

Hmph, tomorrow right...tomorrow my countdown banner will reset itself to 365 days...And then 365 days later, I'll be another year older, and another year of my life would have gone. You know, living a life is not easy at all...and yet time flies, we still experience things, good and bad, and then the future becomes the present, and that...that is life...funny huh? I just find it funny...oh well...rubbishity stuff...dumdeedum...and I shall try to write more in my blog this year...quite boring right...see my mood lah...dumdeedum...happy happy happy birthday to me...and Merry Christmas to all and to all a Happy New Year!

Darn I wish it's Christmas. Oh well. Xin nian kuai le and gong xi fa cai everyone!

Yeah! I got my first birthday present of the year...love it!

I'm still letting my life rot, if this blog rots, it means I'm rotting...just in case anybody's wondering...though I doubt anybody is.

Going to school is totally different from home.

School there's friends, and I'm usually too busy with rock climbing to worry about anything else, since there's going to be one competition every month till June or July. So in school I'm either dreading rock climbing or too tired from rock climbing.

Then at home I fight with my conscience which keeps telling me to do tutorials. And it's always a miracle when I actually do it. You know, I had been failing everything in the 2nd semester last year, and managed to pull through for promos. And now, I still have no motivation to do my work, I hate doing my work and I totally despise tests and examinations. But stating that down doesn't help much does it?

That's why my life is rotting.

..

a little faith is all you need