I think I'm posting a lot cos these days, I've been feeling uneasy & restless & thinking too much. Really, why do the things I say don't really come out the way I intended it to? Got irritated.

Thank goodness I have my hamster, Sonic, who still makes me smile. Yeah I got a roborovski :) It's easy to upload, not very good quality video, so don't full screen it if you want to watch...

Ok, I've gotten my results. I did well. So what? I still haven't found what interests me, what I really want to do. I can work hard under stressful situations, strive hard to achieve to complete things that need to be done, learn things that need to be learned. But everything I've been doing so far, I do it half-heartedly. I do things well because I need to, not because I want to. I have my whole life ahead of me, I have the people I love around me, I'm satisfied. Yet...what is it that I want? Isn't being content enough...

Hmm should I post about my recently released exam results? I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it yesterday...ok truthfully my heart was leaping for joy. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah syukur alhamdulillah. I manage to pass all & graduate with a uol bachelor's degree & with honors.

Not everyone can manage that, sadly. I got a friend who passed everything for her first 2 years then suddenly failed 2 units in her last year, so she graduated with just a pass & no honors which is a blow to her, & she don't have the choice of retaking the units to get her honors. It's like she managed to jump a hurdle but she sprained her ankle at the same time...but I suppose sprained ankles can be healed with time eh...

Sigh...I can't believe it's all over for me. You know how stressful exams can be. I felt constantly lost during those exam periods...I read the Quran, listened to nasyids, google up the meaning of life & all...I went youtube to watch The Don't Quit Poem, borrowed the book of quotes The Bounty of Allah, & cried to sleep when I'm having my period...

Well it's all over, that's one hurdle down, & now it's time to find a job...but...I'm still idling my time away...sigh...I really need to get into an accounting firm soon...

Oh ya...I watched the jap movie The Tale of Mari and Three Puppies. (Cos the dog appeared in an Arashi no Shukudai show.) Anw, based on a true story, it's about a shiba inu who was stuck in an evacuated village after a terrible earthquake, all alone with her three pups. It also shows her deep relationship with her owners, and when the show past the midway point, I started crying non-stop, sniffling away till the end of the show...our life on this earth can stop short any second...not to mention the shiba inus are so cute hehex...

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"My Lord,
how great my desire to meet You,
how earnest my hope of your reward,
O Most Gracious,
Hope of all hope,
O Adored by all,
if I be unworthy of You,
and my endeavors not deserving of devotion,
then gladly shall I confess to my infirmities,
my sins.
For who could be more forgiving than Yourself?

But should You choose to chastise me,
I will satisfy myself in the knowledge that no one could be more just than You."

~Sha’wana, in Rabi’a the Mystic