"Mudah-mudahan, capailah cita-cita adik. Itu saja yang cik ucapkan"~pakcik yang jual curry puff.

How can I? How can I? I've tried so hard...& I'm still trying...but I just keep thinking that it's too late. It isn't too late, is it? Is it?

I think I'm suffering from emotional stress, unlike other people who suffer from stress because of school work...then again, it's just something I made up. Oh well.

"Every sixty seconds, thirty acres of rain forest are destroyed in order to raise beef for fast food restaurants that sell it to people, giving them strokes and heart attacks, which raise medical costs and insurance rates, providing insurance companies with more money to invest in large corporations that branch out further into the Third World so they can destroy more rain forests."
-- George Carlin, comedian.

ouch.

I can't believe I slept throuhout the whole Amaths remedial lesson. it's been some time since i slept in class. And I was sitting in the frontest row too. Didn't Ms Koh notice? What's worse is i have no idea what was happening and now i have lots of questions which i still don't know how to do. What's the point of a remedial lesson if i actually slept through it?

I failed my geo and i know i'm gonna fail my bio and ss too. damn. i have to work harder.

"All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing."-- Edmund Burke, Brittish political philosopher.

But i was right in front of u when i was depressed. i've always been in front of u when i'm depressed. Sigh...I just broke down yesterday, kay? Nothin serious. It's bound to happen. Anyway I've made my decision to become a science student. I want my parents to be proud of me. But I must work hard to achieve that.

"Life without meaning
cannot be borne
We find a mission
to which we're sworn
-- or answer the call
of Death's dark horn
Without a gleaming
of purpose in life,
we have no vision,
we live in strife,
-- or let blood fall
on a suicide knife."
~The Book of Counted Sorrows

GoD, I hate my life. Never thought i'd ever be saying that again but here I am HatinG My LiFe. I never wanted this to happen but here I am. Well, serves me right for keeping things to myself. My father warned me that this would happen. But hell, did I listen? No. Cry cry cry. I havent cried since so long...but it sure makes me feel better. Sure. And me life is still a mess. I hate them. I hate me for hating them. It's not even their fault. It's my fault. It has always been my fault. If I had made an effort to change, then they would change too. But I didn't. Hate myself for that. I have like a thousand billion reasons to hate myself right now. What's the point? Do I wanna be in the science stream or not? How come Shamiah was hesitant when I asked her if she wants to? Wat does that mean? What does that make me? I looser? I don't even have a goal in life...unlike jiawen. Damn it. Here I am trying to hold back my tears. Why, cuz I'm in school. I know I can't go home. If i do then I'll cry on the bus again, like last month. or was it last two months? How can time travel so fast? I shouldn't even be asking that question. I...really...really...need...a friend. There, I've said it. You know what? I'll just say the truth. I cant be a loner. But the thing is nobody will understand me. Who can I turn to? I was searching up and down for someone during lunch. I found one. And I was like, "Man, lucky thing she's here. Who knows what will happen if I didn't find anybody?" Well, I know now. And now, I have no idea what to do. It's times like these when I wish I can die. Can't find noone to stop these tears. Can't find noone to make it all go away. And it's all my fault...You know, I do want to be a science student. But I'm not making the effort to. What now? Is it still not too late? How can I continue with my life right now? How can I? But hell. I can't stay typing on this computer forever. That is never going to happen. But I don't wanna get out of here. All those people outside...sigh. Nothing I can do about it. By the way pam, thanks for signing into my guestbook. You'll never know how a few words can make a single person smile. I wish I could do that... Well, time to get on with my life & face the music. Well, partly because all those people outside are now coming in. Gottogo.

You have GOT to read this.

Ravenclaw Common Room:
"This is our common room entrance." Rachael gestured to the tapestry of a waterfall on the wall. "The password is easy. All you have to do to get in is tap it three times with your right hand. It's been charmed to recognize all the Ravenclaws, including you."
...
The Ravenclaw common room was amazing. It was large and circular, with one third of its walls devoted to bookcases and one third glass. The glass sections were like giant windows. You could see the lake and Hogsmeade Station from one, and the other towers and roofs of Hogwarts from the other.
The bookcase wall section was easily four stories high, with narrow wrought-iron platforms that reminded Harry of theater catwalks lining the bottom of each level of bookcases, and thin ladders connecting one level to another.
The ceiling was sloped, rising to a peak high above their heads. The common room was situated at the top of the tower, so it made sense. Hanging from the peak was a large duplicate of the Ravenclaw banner, as it was displayed in the Great Hall.
Harry turned around, and saw the last third of wall space. It was stone, but it was cheery and bedecked with 18 blue tapestries, one next to another. Harry saw that 14 of them were numbered 1-7, two at each number, one displayed a plate of fruits, one displayed a table of books, one displayed a sunny field, and one displayed a candlelit corridor.
All around the common room, there were chairs and couches. It had a huge amount of floor space, and most of it was efficiently used. There were four chess tables, with chairs on either side of them, study tables with between two and six chairs around them, cozy clumps of couches and chairs, and solitary chairs with small tables for reading. All of the furniture was either the same shade of glittery brown or a various shade of complementary blue.
The carpet was thick, lush blue shag, and when Harry lifted his foot it sprang back up about two inches from where his foot had crushed it.
"Behind us are the Ravenclaw portals." Rachael spoke again, gathering the attentions of the first-years. "The portals to the first year dormitories are labeled with ones, as you may notice. The portal to the girl's dorm has the picture of the woman, and the portal to the boy's dorm has the picture of the man. Once again, all you have to do is tap your right hand three times, and the wall will fade. Step through, and you'll be in your dormitory. They are magical transportation portals. All of the dormitories are really on lower levels of the tower." Rachael paused, and a few of the girls squealed excitedly. "The tapestry with the fruit is the portal to the Entrance Hall, right next to the doors to the Great Hall. The tapestry with the books is the portal to the library, though the Rowena Ravenclaw library is here for our use. The tapestry with the field will take you just outside the castle, onto the grounds. The tapestry with the corridor will take you back the way you came, to this hallway.You tap three times for all of those as well."
"The portals to the Great Hall, library, and outside work both ways as well. If you are in those places, you'll see a bronze stone in the wall, along with the normal stones. Tap on it three times to come back to the common room. Oh, and all the glass in the tower is one-way only. No one can see in."
~Stopper Death: Aconite by A 2946 [fanfiction.net]

Cool, huh? I LOVE the windows and teleporting part. Can I be in Ravenclaw now?

Okay, I've read DV12 and am irritated that Draco slept with Ginny, irritated that fake Draco kissed Harry, irritated that she let Tom enter Seamus's body, irritated that Dumbledore sent Harry to live with the Dursleys...and now I'm bored. Can somebody please recommend me some good hp fanfics?

But seriously, what's Dumbledore's problem anyway? That big old dope is just causing mischieve...thinking that he can defeat Voldemort? Thinking that he can make plans by looking at Draco's dreams? Didn't he suspect ANYTHING about those dreams? Even I had thought of the dreams as a set up. I hate Dumbledore. What do I care if you die? Hell, you're already dead.