What if, someone was depressed, and you were happy. You smiled at the person, talking merrily & laughing like nuts, but the person did not say anything. So then you get a little down-hearted & walked away. When in actual fact, the person felt very much happier than before. But you didn't know that. So you felt sad for the rest of the day. What a great sacrifice for a sad friend, don't you think? It's like some of the person's feelings enter you while some of your better feelings go away...oh, whatever. I guess this only happens to poor old me, huh?

xx

"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive anyway."

Excuse me but..."going to different institutions"? Of course I'm going to different institutions from the rest of the rgs population! This may be very negative of me, but I am just not meant to be in rgs in the 1st place.

Whatever. Take this extremely funny conversation between my friend & Mr Lui.

Ring, ring…
Lui : Hello? Georgia?
Georgia: (just woken up) Hello…
Lui : Georgia, this is Kenneth Lui speaking.
Georgia: WHAT Lui?!
Lui : Mr Kenneth Lui. *Anyway*, there’s Amaths remedial class today.
Georgia: There is?! But there can’t be!
Lui : There is. (He said with a final tone)
Georgia: But…my friend (forgot who) said she’s not coming today.
Lui : Yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come.
Georgia: But…I just woke up. (still sleepy enough not to come up w/ a better reason)
-long pause-
Lui : Can you get ready & come down *now*.
Georgia: (finally woken up) Oh, I have tuition later.
-longer pause-
Lui : Ok, can you come down tomorrow?
Georgia: But Mr Lui! Tomorrow is Deepavali! It’s not me, but I do not want to trouble you or anything, making you come down just for me especially on a holiday when you should be taking a rest with your family…etc, etc.
Lui : Oh, alright, come down on Saturday then. There’s a mock exam from 8 to 12 at 404 classroom.
Georgia: Err…okay…
-conversation end-

Heh, more quotes...btw, I found out the quote abt strapping toast on the back of a cat was originally made by Steven Wright.

xx

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.

Thx, Jia Wen. After Os is fine. Email me when u're ready.

So...after that ordeal, I went back to the library, packed my stuff & went home. Then I slept all the way till now. And now, I'm back on the computer. Great job, munirah. But then I always win against my conscience.

Anyway, I had a dream. We happened to be living in the daemon world, & someone I knew had her daemon taken away from her, & gosh, it hurts. So we organised this meeting to find out who's the idiot who pulled it out. Deborah Tan was in the meeting...anyway, after the meeting, I was packing my stuff & Shamiah was behind me & saying its late & she shd go home. I looked up at the clock on the classroom wall & realised its 10p.m. So I let her go first. Then I ran to catch up w/ her. She said she needed to go buy sushie(sp?) for dinner or sth.

Ok, that's not the point. When I woke up, I realised that soon, I won't be going home with Shamiah anymore. I won't be crossing the street & suddenly meeting Jia Wen at the bus stop anymore. Or maybe meeting Pamela or Annie. In fact, I won't even be in my classroon & looking up at the classroom clock anymore...
My mum told me to keep studying. My job is to study. Doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter how many friends I make & how many I lose...What is with me & friends anyway? Family is more important. The family who I don't feel close to, who I can't even speak of my problems to. The thing is, I always know what they are going to say before asking a question, or even telling them my problem. I know every specific detail they're going to give, & whether it'll hurt me or not. And when I do try asking, they reply exactly they way I thought they would. And no matter how much I want to rebut them, to tell them that they are wrong, that there is more to it, I won't, cuz I guess I still know what they'll say. So instead, I go back to my room & cry...I dunno why...I can't talk to them...my parents...

xx

"I'm not retreating! I'm just advancing in the opposite direction!"

Noooo! Don't make me go back to the library! Nooooooooooo! -gets down on her knees & starts begging- Ok, this is pathetic. -gets up again.-

I am so SICK of doing amaths! And I'm not even improving! Argh! I am also SICK of seeing kenneth lui every two days...And two days after this one, I'll have to take an EXAM. From 8 to 10 a.m. on this coming Saturday, I'll be in 404's classroom drawing stupid vector diagrams, erasing them, re-drawing them, erasing again, redrawing again...and all the time wishing I could watch Pokemon! It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!! Why must life be so unfair????????????
Ignore her.

Hmm...I'll be going back to the library soon to do some ss...& I can't even eat!!!!!!!!
Stop complaining, idiot. *Some* people would actually be smart enough to know that by fasting, we save time & thus become more efficient in studying for the (dreaded) O levels...

OK! Whatever! Can't you shut up for awhile, huh?

-silence-

Either I'm going crazy or I'm going crazy.

xx

"Flies, Padfoot. Flies" ~ Remus to Serius when Sirius had his mouth hanging wide open.

Hello. I'm feeling bored now. I have nothing on my mind now. Lately, when I come here I have something on my mind, but now I don't. Oh well, I've got some quotes anyway...I can't think of what to type...except maybe Hari Raya. I can't wait! I can't believe its coming...not that it would be as exciting once its here.........ladeeda.........I want to go overseas. Oh, you know what I really want? I want to touch snow. Snow is cool. Literally. I've read so many books with snow inside, and watched so many cartoons also with snow inside...I wish I can touch real snow...not snow city snow...I want to make snowmen & have snowball fights & all those stuff...but I guess we Singaporean people might not be able to stand snow without many many layers of clothes...

Btw, I think I had been studying more for my Prelims than my Os...oh well...

I think all this thinking about snow is because of Calvin & Hobbes. I was reading my bio notes, the one made by Edna Tan, with all the Calvin&Hobbes comic strips...and so I took out my big book of Calvin&Hobbes & read the comics inside. A serious waste of time, I know. But I sure enjoyed myself.

xx

"Love your enemies. It pisses them off."

I'm gonna babble now. About how sad I'm feeling. I feel so alone, no one to talk too, everybody with their own agendas, we are always alone anyway. How I wish i have a daemon. But then I have Tommy, my imaginary friend, so why am I complaining? Liyana is nowhere in sight, neither is Jia Wen. I can't even see them on the last day of school. Yeah, but so what? That does not mean anything. What makes me think I can see them anyway? Putting such high hopes for nothing. Like how people are complaining that they can't go HJC or RJC. Haha. Well, it's not funny...well then. An aggregate of 20 will still get me somewhere I suppose...there's just too little time left. Am I regretting? I hope not...whatever. I'll give Liyana a call to see if I can go over to her place. Of course, I don't mind if anybody else invite me over to their place. Except I know some people would rather study alone...why am I such a loser? Wait, I'm not.

Suicide does not solve anything. I know. I just feel sorry for those who think of it and also for those who had already done it. Yet I feel jealous of those who live such a good life that the thought of suicide never come to their mind.

Oh, I'm starting to get attracted to orange. But I can't bear to leave red. Ah, I'm such a loyal fan.

xx

"...thinking about what?"
"Oh, you know. The big questions of life. Like, if
toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always
land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on
the back of a cat and drop it?"
~DT

Seven! I've got 7 cute little caterpillars on my lime plant. Actually they are not very cute yet cuz they are now dark green & white. Later they'll turn a beautiful light green colour with big fake eyes. So cute! Then they'll turn to ugly brown cacoons, then 1 or 2 weeks later they'll turn to a bright yellow & black butterfly! I've never really seen it coming out. I just happened to trap one & saw it grow until one day I came home from school & saw the beautiful butterfly. It's really quite gigantic. Hehe! There's been about 4 generations coming to lay eggs so far but I've never seen 7 caterpillars all at once. Sigh...I wish I can see it when it changes to a butterfly.

Anyway, I'm not worrying about my JC yet. I'll just wait for my results. It'll come then I'll cry then I'll make my bloody decision. I have to make it sooner or later. It'll just be later then.

xx

"Soon? What does that mean, soon?"
"Later than right now, earlier than never." ~ DT

It's sick when you hear it once. It's worse when she keeps repeating it. "Mmhmmm..." she'll say with that yucky voice. "Ok," she'll then say with a smile. Then, "Muax," & she'll make that kissing sound. Times that a couple of times. Then she'll say, "Oh, wait..." , talk for a few more minutes, then repeat the 'sweet' goodbyes all over again. I really felt like vomiting. If my sis does this over the phone, I wonder what she does when she sees her bf face to face.

xx

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"