Joanne joanne joanne...omg we see the funniest side of people when we are together in a pinch.

4 of us joined the Hullabaloo Blast Off organised by Tampines east cc, it's some kind of amazing race game where we travel all over tampines to 9 different stations and complete each of them.

I felt like I'm travelling all over singapore from the amount of running we did...ok fine we didn't run much...just shows I'm getting older & older...haa...

And gosh the amount of cheating we did during the game was so great I felt guilty. And yet we only got 700 points while the winners got 900 points...how in the world did they achieve that? They must have cheated even more than we did right...or maybe cheaters like us don't deserve to win hahaha...

I still remember one of the stations called Friendship where we filled up a questionaire & we were asked about our friend's questionaire without looking at our friend, and jo cheated by smsing me her answers: ddeff. I was a very blur person. I stared & stared & stared at the sms cos I didn't understand it. The questionaire had only 3 choices for each question: a, b or c, so why in the world did she sms me ddeff?? Only after the game I realised she must have wanted to sms aabcc...which is a bit too late la...so in the end our cheating didn't go very well.

And there was this station regarding religious tolerance where we were given many many different picture cards & needed to match the symbol of the religion to its name...and guess what's the symbol for buddhists? The noble eight-fold path wheel. My 3 other buddhist team mates didn't know ok! How am I suppose to know such a thing...it's not like it's displayed everywhere. And then there was no crucifix to represent christianity & my friends were confused over that...I really didn't know there are other types of crosses that represent christianity. We had to find & match TEN different religions and with our terrible general knowledge, we took a whole hour on that station. And jo kept throwing the cards down in frustration whenever we got the answers wrong...haha it was funny on hindsight.

Now I'm starting to understand how the other teams won...they were probably smarter than us in many ways...sad ah...

Heh I'm so childish joining such games...please grow up girl...but really the organizers of the event did quite a good job...it was fun, they had kayaking & all that, although I didn't actually kayak, it was really a great day in the end :)

*******

"Cast off your fear. Look forward! Go forward! Never stand still. Retreat and you will age. Hesitate and you will die." ~Zangetsu

I realise I'm not a thoughtful nor sensitive person...like how I can't say thank you when I'm really very grateful...sigh...just found out I'm having my period so I can't pray terawih...sad sad sad...not to mention that I have terrible moodswings when I'm having my mens...feel like screaming but... astaghfirullahalazim.

I hate whining online...and I am very sian of sending resumes...

Anyway, yesterday was kinda fun. I really enjoy going to the beach. I know people who go there almost every weekend to get away from the city, but I don't. So whenever I go there I just love the quiet scenery around me.

Yesterday's weather was very humid and the fog and mist made it bad to see the distance and the waters are not very very clean...but I like strolling...I think we strolled around 4km along pasir ris beach? Xz and I were looking for the bicycle shack but couldn't find it so we end up walking the wholE length from downtown east to the playground...we felt so greaT to finally reach our destination: the Swings!

I don't know where else we can find swings in Singapore haha...the kind that we can swing up high to feel the wind in our hair...it suddenly reminded me of an episode of Proposal Daisakusen when they went back to the past and Rei was swinging on the swings in their old school. (Yamapi is such a cool actor.)

Then over there we acted childish all over the playground, I climbed the tiny rock wall , climbed the bridge and the spiderweb, tried spinning on that spinning disc thing, slid down the slides...and before leaving, we went back to the swings to swing again...I miss the swings...sigh...

I hope xz enjoyed that failed cycling trip hee yesterday...she listened to all my silly problems without saying a word ^_^

And theres a stable at pasir ris ah? I wanted to go see if there were horses there but although the distance is cycle-able, it wasn't really walkable so we just gave it a miss...yay I enjoy the park...It's such a nice refresh from the concrete jungle we live in.

Oh Clamp made a song of all the characters in all the anime they have made so far...and just look at Mokona (the fluffy white Clamp creature with long ears and a red ruby). She's bouncing all over the place...so very cute! I realise anime tend to love creatures with long ears hahaha...

New blogskin :)

Sy, jo and evan asked me for badminton last sunday and I had no idea what are the rules but I just played and so my team lost a few rounds. Haha...then on monday my limbs were aching all over...I kind of miss that feeling. Just shows how long I haven't exercised...I really should do it on a regular basis...

Oh and I went kite-flying at east coast the other day and it was really nice :)) I love the outdoors. Nothing too straining like kayaking, and with the wind blowing in my face, makes it great no matter who I'm with. Yea my older sister was there...we are really drifting apart man...never chat with her much, just laughed about the wind and about the kite flying up and falling down and the string getting tangled and the kite finally getting stuck in the tree and throwing stones to make it come down. Yea my sister...I don't like her at times and yet I miss her.

Sigh...I'm a bit worried about someone but I'm not close to that person so I don't know if reaching out is a good idea...sigh...I should just wait...anyway...

"My heart belongs to Pi, NEWS and Arashi. :P"

Guess who wrote that? I still have no idea what they are feeling...I'm not really a fan but I did watch the Arashi haunted house the other day at sham's place and I laughed till I cry...ohno is so cool...and matsujun is just trying to act cool but fail terribly...gosh I can't watch...just going youtube to search for arashi and yamapi can make me laugh cos of the thousands of screaming fans...what is going on in their minds I wonder...

Back to anime, Shinji is back in Bleach manga! Can't wait for next week! And Hitsugaya is still so cute...I avoided watching the fillers till I realise Hitsugaya is inside...wahaha...

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
~Aristotle

Michael Jackson...he had been a part of our lives since young...I remember watching his movie and his music videos on tv a long time ago...and he had produced some great songs.

Ok I just feel like blogging after I come back from dinner with friends. You'd think all my girlfriends would know by now that all guys are thick-skinned jerks. I am so done with listening to stories of relationship break ups, or we-need-to-cool-off-so-lets-not-see-each-other-for-awhile stories. I hear these stories from my friends at least once a month, then there would be tears and we would go through lets-have-girl-outings-and-just-forget-about-him periods. Over and over and over again. It's a cycle in life, man. There are so many more serious things to worry about and yet oh so insignificant bgr always seems to come into the picture somehow.

Ya that guy who dumped you? He's a bastard. Really.

Anyway, I had a nice dinner with my friends yesterday and I just love being with them. Sometimes, there are only some friends we talk to who can make us feel good :))

And it's almost July and I have to start making money soon...but I seem to be dragging it because I still have my savings...but I've been digging from it for so long and I have to start putting money in again...and a friend asked to go to Malaysia to stay there for awhile in July...hmm I don't know if I should join them or not...I want quiet 'me' time...ok I need quiet 'me' time.

*********

If you want a rainbow, you must first embrace the rain.

I am so brokenhearted these days. I need to talk to someone. I don't like being brokenhearted. No, I'm ok. Or at least I want to be ok. And I want the people around me to be ok.

Hmm the Malaysia trip was nice except that my little toddler cousins can be heaven and they can be hell. They can make a fuss over the littlest things...oh & the 7 yr old brother...he just loves to snatch things from his little brother and say, "Sayang, I just want to see for awhile ok, don't cry lah sayang..." and then the next day he will snatch things from his brother again & repeat the same words...is he being sarcastic or something?? Hah...children...

So then anyway after coming back, I went prawning with the Angling Club people & fishing at Bedok jetty too...again, I met new people & again, I hear my friend softly telling me, "Look at kp flirting with B. Kp loves to flirt...hmph." But before that my friend herself was flirting with the other guys so I don't know what to reply her.

And just now I just completed watching Kurosagi...I love it! The show is almost parallel to Maou & I was afraid the ending would be the same...but it's not! And Yamapi! ^_^ Yay

Haha...other then that I'm just...rotting my life away watching shows online & meeting up with old friends...it's nice to go out & hang out with a friend...taking a break & enjoying my "holidays"...



It's just a part of life...this song can make me cry tears of joy...

I'm going malaysia tomorrow...yeah the same old place I go every year...having a house there means going back every year but why can't they have a house in Europe instead?? Haha...I must still be thankful...anyway I'm coming back on the 4th...looking forward to the trip :)

Oh and I went cycling with sham & eunice yesterday...sad that jw can't come with us :( Hope she's feeling better now...For me, the cycling was a nice refresh after the exams...we took lotsa photos too...then we went shopping and went to the library. Then I went back home to watch K-On! Love that anime...still got 2 more episodes to watch, but first, I have to pack my stuff...

Ok before further reading, emo warning first which I just have to let out somewhere...

I just think that this world is a crazy place...I want to make it right, but I can't...and it really makes me want to hurt myself because that's when I feel better, I want to go rock climbing and get blisters, I want to go roller blading and scrape my knee, I want to go jogging till I'm out of breath and my head starts spinning...those are some of the ways I let go of the world...I want to, but I don't of course...

Sigh...anyway I can always let go of the world when I do my prayers...and letting go is NOT easy...and when I finally do let go of it, I don't want to come back to this crazy world...

Sometimes, I feel guilty having fun...but then I see others around me having fun and I'd feel I'm left out, but yet after I have fun, I would end up thinking too much & start feeling weird again..."maybe cos I hv 2think ahead n i'm not prepapred n i hv nobody 2turn 2 or depend on"...that's what my friend sms me about her feelings...maybe my feelings are around the same as hers...although I do have people to turn to but I'm not that type to do that...

I want to be more confident in myself...alright I need to go out there and do something. Maybe become an accounting teacher? My aunt told me that some schools are looking for accounting teachers & that I should apply...but I never wanted to be a teacher in the first place...hmm...there's so many things I can do...but first...I need to pack my stuff...

Today, I'm going for Wyeth family day...leaving the house soon...hopefully can go prawing later too :) Life is sweet.

************

The servile earth and the lofty sky:
without this opposite
the sky would not be so high.
The low and high of the earth
are winter and spring.
The low and high of time
are night and day.
The low and high of the body
are sickness and health.
By means of these opposites
the world is kept alive;
by means of these doubles
souls feel fear and hope.

–Rumi, Mathnawi, 6:1848-51, 1853

Dearest Kaimisuki...I present to you Spyro, the only one who can endure my whinings, disturbing pokes & anger tantrums during my exam stress & still make a cute face at the end...ok fine she only listens when I put food in front of her but I still love her to bits & pieces...did the video within 2 hours...so I'm going back to work now

Another whining post.

My handphone got stolen...again. That time I couldn't be bothered that it got stolen cos I was too sick...It's only a few days later when the full impact hit me & I felt totally angry & exasperated.

The story is so stupid. Yea I was at s11 there, sick with headache & flu & an upset stomach, & I had a sudden urge to vomit, but I won't do it there at the foodstalls ba, it's inconsiderate especially with all the swine flu going on, & I don't know where's the nearest toilet, so I ran all the way to the drain behind, & at the same time, I knew I drop my hp but I can't go back cos the vomit was already in my mouth. After doing it at the drain, I went back to get my hp & it's gonE!

Sigh...I mean, I can't say that it's not my fault...I never should have trusted Singapore to be a safe country, no matter what, especially when I'm alone. But I feel that's not the worst part.

See, when I got short questions regarding school work, I will sms my friend & she would reply, & I guess I should have taken note of her replies somewhere but I didn't know my handphone would get stolen what...so when I get the sms answers to my questions, I just tried to understand them...then now I want to check back to the replies that my friend gave me, I realise I can't because it's in my old handphone!

Haiz...my pictures, my music, my contacts, my handphone not cheap ok...& now I have to work hard to get over this feeling & situation...I hate being too dependent on something...

Then again it's probably karma because I haven't been a nice person lately...oh man I wish I have learnt my lesson...I can't let this stupid cycle happen again...seriously...now just get over it, get over it, get over it.

**********

"Sometimes, some things happen, & there's nothing we can do about it, so why worry?"

Hakuna Matata

I chatted with my Atheist friend, who had set up a blog to raise awareness & make people really think about their religion, & what other reasons I'm not sure of...but, somehow I think it won't work...people with faith will have answers to all that person's questions...answers that Atheists refuse to accept...I was shocked when they say that science & religion does not go together...hah...

Then I also realised, Atheists put all their energy & effort into finding so-called proves that God does not exist, like reading books titled Why I am not a Muslim by Ibn Warraq instead of reading books like God & Man: Questions & Answers by F S A Majeed. So when they go to the bookstore or library, which section will they go to? I for one, will go to many sections, including the section about Islam, & there I find many books that I enjoy reading.

But I can't blame them, really. Any person who truly believes in something will put all their energy & effort into that believe...But I wonder what's the point of raising awareness...I still don't think Atheists are rational or reasonable...I guess the meaning of being rational & reasonable differs from person to person.

But really, why do they think they are rational? Look at Greg Mortenson...he is definitely a rational person. After reading his book Three Cups of Tea, I am amazed & I really respect him. At least he understands that faith needs to exist & cannot be changed. The crimes in this world will not stop when everyone is an Atheist. It can only be improved through Proper education, & that's why I respect Greg Mortenson.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen to me if I were not born a Muslim...will I still be the same person I am now, always so calm when I face adversities...actually I haven't faced much adversities in my life lah, thank god...

Heh I know I have to stop being so philosophical, but I really can't help feeling sorry & pity for others...I do my best in life of course, & I know we shouldn't just talk the talk, but we must also walk the walk...but...walking the walk is not easy...that's why I respect people who can do it...ok sometimes I think too much.

Don't think, just do.

And I was reading jw's blog so now I'm watching the jap drama Smile but I don't know why I'm not crying or why I don't really feel for Vito...I think cos my mind is too worried about my exams...haha...but sigh the pain & suffering Vito had to go through...sad...

Song: Alhamdulillah (Praises & Thanks to God) by Dawud Wharnsby Ali



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"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. God does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing & subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." ~ Quran 31:18-19

Oh ya and jw's bday is in April too...haha ok ok I will like April yea...
Happy Birthday Shamiah! April babies...
It's so wonderful to be able to live till 22 eh?

And hoho...I just love Dawud Wharnsby's voice! Nice nasheed...Listening to him when I'm very stressed out studying...
song titled What a Wonderful World by Dawud Wharnsby & Zain Bhikha...



Yeah it's so wonderful...to be so STRESSSED...really...what if I fail...why does James give us so much ACCA work that I'm running out of time to complete everything because my basics are not that strong...and I'm having difficulty going through the examiner's report...keep making stupid mistakes... But stress is good...that's what they say...bleagh...ok stop whining.

And I watched the whole series in the middle of the night with that music in the background...

Anyway, the video's titled Freedom Unplugged, a part of the series, The Arrivals...we people get distracted by the disinformation, propoganda & media mind control that we become satisfied with our man-made world of comfort, when in fact there is still so much more that we need to know.

And it's totally mind-blowing what we do not know. The part about Al-Aqsa Mosque is very sad. And about Rihanna? Madonna? Christina? Now everytime I see black & white checkered floor, my heart will jump.

That aside...I don't like April...met lotsa different people in revision classes...too bad it's my last year and I doubt I will keep in touch with them...

And then there are days, like today, when I just need to whine to someone, so I will just start a random conversation with anyone with the aim to whine but in the end I don't cos I would feel stupid if I whine cos "all this will pass" anyway...sigh...tomorrow...I'm studying with a guy...a guy I seldom talk to...& I'm nervous...where is a girl friend when I need one...actually I'm not nervous...I do not need a girl friend...I can study untill 5pm, and then my girl friend will join us...I shall endure the butterflies till then...haha how ridiculous...haa...

***************

All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance
All our ignorance brings us nearer to death
But nearness to death no nearer to God
Where is the life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
~ T,S, Elliot

A twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems.

1. We admitted we were powerless over the computer, and that our lives have become unmanageable.
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Principle - Hope

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
Principle - Faith

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Principles - Action and Courage

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Principle - Integrity

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Principle - Willingness

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
Principle - Humility

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Principle - Brotherly love

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Principle - Justice

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Principle - Perseverance

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of Gods will for us and the power to carry that out.
Principle - Spirituality

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we carried this message to others who go online excessively and practiced these principles in all our affairs.
Principle - Service

I am addicted to the mouse. There, I have stated my stupid addiction! Once my hand touches it, I can't remove my hand for a long time. Nobody knows cos I always put myself as appear offline on msn...sigh...I don't even do anything useful online & this addiction is taking too much time especially since I need to discipline myself to study for the last leg of the race before I graduate. How can I be in school right now & still be on the computer slacking?? Get off, girl.

Oh my gosh, I LOVE flowers! The flowers I received for my birthday is still on the table & it's blooming beautifully...

And of course I love all my presents.

I don't have many friends but I love those friends that I have.

Love love love...what is love?

Wah I'm going out today & tomorrow! Damn birthday...I'm going to regret not spending my time studying...I have to manage my time!

"...do not always feel unfair and moody, you are who you are, and you must know that you are a blessed one" ~my birthday card

I got moody meh? Haha the words of a close friend...ok ok I'll try to be less moody alright...and yes I know I am very blessed...

Must thank SIM for letting me spend the day trying in vain to chose my eRev on the online system that's falling apart.

Anyway, thanks for the wishes everyone...and happy birthday to my one-year old baby cousin!

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
~Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat,
the fairy tale song in my head right now

Gah I don't like to blog, but I guess I'm so bored of finding the values of tangible assets, that blogging seems to be a lot more fun. Bleagh.

Anyway, I went to Johor last Saturday...went to a relatives' house who bought a bungalow there, somewhere near Austin Heights. The owners are Singaporeans working in Singapore, they just go back and forth from Singapore to Johor every week. The house is big. Why do they want to have a house there? To enjoy the Jusco shopping mall? Ah well.

Oh, then after that we decided to stay at this hotel which I forgot the name of. That hotel is gigantic too, can fit like, 10 king-sized beds in one room. Really. It only has 3 stories, but it has one very looong hallway.

I went swimming at the pool too. Gosh I love my baby cousins. The younger ones tend to not like swimming. Tried to persuade them to enter the water but they are too afraid.

I gave one of them the blue floating styrofoam to swim with, but he didn't move from the edge of the pool. He just took it, put his goggles on top of it, then push it back and forth, pretending it's a boat. He seems to enjoy it though.

Oh and you know how crazy the fireworks can get in Malaysia. I went out of my room at 12am and I was terrified of the sound of 'bombs' that echo down the long and dark hallway. Haa. It was pretty though. Look out the window and, with the golf course in the foreground, in the background we can see fireworks sprouting out from seven different places in Johor. And since my aunt stayed at the opposite end of the hotel, I ran across the hall from my room to hers, and saw even more fireworks.

Guess that's what jw and kim experience when they go back to Malaysia for cny eh.

Heh...

Anyway I keep wanting to post this but never did:
Talking Cock's Wu Liao Video of the Week.
To send an error report...or not to send an error report

Right. Now I have to go back to studying. I got to complete at least 6 more questions before I sleep tonight. Die die I cannot graduate with a Third Class. Mock Exams in 4 weeks time. Sigh. Good times never last. Then again, neither do the bad times. Still waiting for the recession to end.

Oh and Happy New Year. Happy...right...happy indeed.

'Thank God they allowed me to see her where she lay...and they showed her to me,' he [Lo Hwei Yen's husband] said. 'She still looked very beautiful.'

I sure hope he gets through this alright...sigh...it's still in the papers...I seriously thought terrorists attacks like the Mumbai attacks only happen in anime like Gundam or Code Geass which I really enjoy and laugh at the scenes with lotsa bloodshed, but looking at it happening in real life to a Singaporean is really heart-wrenching. It's like my favourite anime character dieing and I would cry when I watch it except that this is reaL. What's wrong with those terrorists?? Islam condemns this kind of senseless killings, but why do they continue with it with the full notion of knowing they wouuld get caught? There has to be a better way to spend our lives than training terrorists right? Will there be a day when these terrible things only happen in anime and never in real life?

Fingers got itchy again so I created another blogskin...the things I do when I'm suppose to be doing my assignment.

Hehe anyway, last month was good...hari raya is the same old...the better parts are meeting up a couple of times with some friends...I love meeting up with friends...it doesn't matter where we are (it doesn't cos I forgot the name of the place where we ate lunch eheheh), as long as we are with good company.

And that is my summary for last month. Haha ok I'm terrible at blogging...

Now I need to finish up on my FR assignment...and they are starting to sell Christmas decorations...and this will be the last year when I will suffer through Christmas...James will sure give us lotsa work...but Christmas next year I won't need to suffer anymore yeah! Just real work to look forward to...how fun! Ok I can stop babbling now...

************

You simple-minded fool. Are you, by any chance, still evolving? ~ Franziska von Karma in Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney

Sham, I think you're the only one who still visits my blog lah...I spend more time making blogskins instead of actually blogging...not that I make lotsa blogskins...haa...

So what have I been up to?? Nothing much actually...just ran away from home like two months ago...cos of this hollering from my sis:

"You are so STUPID AND USELESS. Always using the computer and doing nothing. I want to use the computer ok. Why must you disturb me? You think you're so smart ah? Go to your room lah. Go lock yourself in your room. I don't want to see your face."

And she kept repeating the "Go lock yourself in your room." And I screamed at her that I wanted to do that, except that she was standing right there in front of my door, blocking it so I can't close it to do as she politely requested, so we just screamed at each other in front of my room door.

And when she finally let me slam the door, I grabbed a few clothes from my cupboard, throw them in my bag and stomp out of the house...went over to my aunt's place...

Meaning I ran away lah...gone for over a month...heh...although I seldom use the computer there, but I did enjoy my time there. Cos my aunt has 4 kids, the oldest is only 6 yrs old, and gosh I love those kids...

I don't know how children can bring so much joy to life with just their cute faces...always asking about me, opening my room door in the morning to wake me up, running to the door when I reach home from school, always disturbing me and asking me to feed them when I need to eat my lunch or dinner...it's so much more different than being at home...At home I feel unwanted, over there, I'm always being asked for attention...

Hee...the third brother...he is the fatest one...he calls me Kak Iya cos he still can't speak properly...he is also very irritating, always following his siblings around and disturbing them. And when irritated, his siblings would just scream at him.

But got once I was quite surprised...once after a screaming session, the big brother just said, "Taqif cute ah. Huuuug." And they sat there and hugged for a long time. It's a really cute scene but seriously...What's up with that?? I'm amazed at how forgiving his brother is. I would never hug my sister suddenly after an argument...would I do that 15 years back?

Sigh...and now I'm back at my own house for Hari Raya, I made up with my sister and all...but how I wish I can be a kid again...sigh...

Well I better switch off my computer now...I just spent a long time watching Nodame Cantabile...and I enjoyed the last episode hehe...the drama is quite good if you skip all the boring parts...gosh the yaoi parts were really irritating...anyway I was quite surprised when Chiaki hugged Noda in that scene by the river...sweet love...and now I'm not sure which drama to watch next...hee...and fall season anime coming up...