Kaimisuki

I'm going malaysia tomorrow...yeah the same old place I go every year...having a house there means going back every year but why can't they have a house in Europe instead?? Haha...I must still be thankful...anyway I'm coming back on the 4th...looking forward to the trip :)

Oh and I went cycling with sham & eunice yesterday...sad that jw can't come with us :( Hope she's feeling better now...For me, the cycling was a nice refresh after the exams...we took lotsa photos too...then we went shopping and went to the library. Then I went back home to watch K-On! Love that anime...still got 2 more episodes to watch, but first, I have to pack my stuff...

Ok before further reading, emo warning first which I just have to let out somewhere...

I just think that this world is a crazy place...I want to make it right, but I can't...and it really makes me want to hurt myself because that's when I feel better, I want to go rock climbing and get blisters, I want to go roller blading and scrape my knee, I want to go jogging till I'm out of breath and my head starts spinning...those are some of the ways I let go of the world...I want to, but I don't of course...

Sigh...anyway I can always let go of the world when I do my prayers...and letting go is NOT easy...and when I finally do let go of it, I don't want to come back to this crazy world...

Sometimes, I feel guilty having fun...but then I see others around me having fun and I'd feel I'm left out, but yet after I have fun, I would end up thinking too much & start feeling weird again..."maybe cos I hv 2think ahead n i'm not prepapred n i hv nobody 2turn 2 or depend on"...that's what my friend sms me about her feelings...maybe my feelings are around the same as hers...although I do have people to turn to but I'm not that type to do that...

I want to be more confident in myself...alright I need to go out there and do something. Maybe become an accounting teacher? My aunt told me that some schools are looking for accounting teachers & that I should apply...but I never wanted to be a teacher in the first place...hmm...there's so many things I can do...but first...I need to pack my stuff...

Today, I'm going for Wyeth family day...leaving the house soon...hopefully can go prawing later too :) Life is sweet.

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The servile earth and the lofty sky:
without this opposite
the sky would not be so high.
The low and high of the earth
are winter and spring.
The low and high of time
are night and day.
The low and high of the body
are sickness and health.
By means of these opposites
the world is kept alive;
by means of these doubles
souls feel fear and hope.

–Rumi, Mathnawi, 6:1848-51, 1853