Kaimisuki

I am really worried. I was excited at first but now I'm worried.

I'm afraid if I'll embarass myself or make myself look stupid. Like that time in OBS when I actually volunteered to be in charge of something, the raft-building I think. I don't know why I did that but I ended up making people irritated 'cause I didn't contribute much, didn't take note of the the time, and didn't help them come to a solution or something like that. What if I do that again?

Then in OBS I also did that stick-to-someone thing like I did with Liyana. I don't know whether I annoyed the person for following her around wherever she goes, but if I did, gosh did I look stupid!

I really want to look forward to the orientation, but I don't know...there are also the boys and I must be prepared to be holding hands with them or lying on them or something, like the ones in the pictures of orientation shown. Maybe it's only in rj but then...sigh, I bet most don't even think of this.

Right, Munirah. You must not irritate or annoy people, although I've been trying hard not to since I was born. But then I still did it, like the time I kept pestering Eunice for the lotr vcd...

Why must I only remember the bad memories and not the good ones? Why am I so worried over this? I was so worried about my Os but yet I didn't do anything about it. Maybe it's because I'm worried and ignorant at the same time. But really...you'd think someone who worries so much might actually be so careful that she does a very good job at everything. Like how you'd think a quiet person like me might actually be smart, listening to the lessons instead of talking so much. But guess what? Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam besi berkarat. I'm the 'besi'.

...Maybe I should be more confident, you know? Instead of being so worried and distressed...

xx

"If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it."