Bad results bad results bad results...when will I ever learn to discipline myself to study? I so totally don't deserve to watch Corpse Bride on Wednesday...

A friend sent me a picture, my fingers got itchy and I started twidling with the html in the template and VoilA! I made it all by myself, yes I did, my very first skin! GOsh, the stress...argh...the html was driving me nuts and I sat in front of the computer for 12 whole hours straight! Yes, exageration as always...but look at the end product and man the feeling is good! I now officially claim myself as the master of html! Who wants me to design their blogs for them raise your hands!

Ok, kidding, I'm only an amatuer...oh sigh...

Alrighty then, Kaimisuki has gone for a total makeover and I do hope someone comes along to see it...hehe...but will this gal continue blogging? We'll see...and I can't decide about the tagboard either...but I don't care...right now...all I want...is my Zzzs...

Depression...gah...have anybody seen Eric lately? He's either in the school library studying or with Ms Lam asking about numerical methods or something like that...well, ya I'm exagerating...but can somebody please tell me how a slacker can all of a sudden be vEry motivated to study?

I myself am struggling trying to keep up...sigh...went to the beach to study with Bell who fell asleep in the cool wind...and I was looking at the horizon and wondering...how did they figure out that the world is not flat?

Anyway, how just how am I suppose to study when kak bought maryam a 500-pieces jigsaw puzzle for her birthday on Wednesday! And it's still not complete yet. There's two kittens, a black one with orange stripes and a totally white one in a totally pink background of pink cotton wool and pink strings and pink everything! And ya, they just leave the kittens sitting right there in front of my TV, with sweet half-done heads and cute pink noses looking at me with adorable eyes as if begging me to fix them whole...

So that's what I've been doing these days. I also spend time sitting in front of the computer beside my sister, longing to play what she's playing (neopets duh)...Well, she's a billionaire already lah! In neopoints of course...

Other than that...I've been admiring my 5 beautiful sunflower plants I planted from seeds. The flowers will bloom straight after my As end, or so the words on the packet imply...end of As...-dreamy look-...oh, then there's Rainbow, my gorgeous fighting fish (named by my little sister) who accompanies me at night while I study...

Hah...right...I end up reading HP&HBP instead. Heh...I've re-read it once already. Aint Snape just so cool in there...(I'm very certain that Dumbledore forced him to do it in the end). But then...I re-read HP&PoA and realise what a jerk he is...

I really want to read Lymond but I have to admit the vocabulary is a bit intimidating, as cool as he can be...sigh...

I saw Sham's list of things to do after As...wow...The only thing I look forward to is HP&GoF and that Narnia Chronicles movie...sigh...end of As ---regret?humiliation?---

Oh, wow, another entree in this long-dead blog? Ok ok, I miss my Kaimisuki a lot alright. One long post as an update for my rg friends and then another long break before the next update...haha...

Bored?
Mr Bombastick (go to animation and watch those episodes :))
The End of the World
Pie
Illama Song

But please remember to study because...if there's a will, there's a way. And if there's no will, there's nO way...

That's more a reminder for myself...

I do not whine about people not signing my guestbook. Don't sign lah, for all I care.

Anyway, I got in 3rd place...Am I good, or am I good?

Still got another competition this Saturday...that means Maybelle and I can study on Sunday...finally...

Gosh...Can you believe there's only 12 days of the holidays left...how am I suppose to study huh? And I'm so bloody tired...I think my muscles are going to break apart soon...

And that's an uber cool animation there.

I know a lot of people read my blog but I got no time to update often because of the upcoming common tests...and those who are reading this should bloody well know that they should be offline studying so get off the computer right now!

But I'm still going out anyway...watched Creep last Thursday with a group of people and nice sweet Adam bought us all popcorn to share (though I took most of the popcorn but that doesn't matter much). And also I bought Yi Fang a $1.50 birthday present... compared to the balloons she gave me, I am so lousy at getting presents for people...Speaking of which I forgot somebody's birthday which falls on the 9th of April...HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JW! I'll pop by your blog after...erm...soon...

Oh, and that Creep show was not a ghost story at all but a horror story with gory details about the Creep cutting and digging out a dead person's lungs and feeding it to the rats. I felt like puking lah especially with all that popcorn in my stomach... Yet I kind of cried during the show...the Creep just have this sad life and he didn't know or understand anything about us humans. But it was still a waste of money...gah...

Had heats today and I can't believe it's almost the last week of April already...and my freaking ankle still haven't heal yet. It hurt a little when I tried running before the race and tried to ignore it...the pain didn't come during the 100m sprint but after the sprint there was a sudden stabbing pain which makes me want to cut off my ankle and just get a new one... But I have to appreciate what I have...sighsighsigh... Anyway, I got into semi-finals but can I really go much further if I'm not running to the best of my ability? This sucks lah. I really miss those moments when I rush past the finishing line with people cheering for me...watching her cry after the 1x4m race made me feel like crying with disappointment that I can't run for my class this year...but I still have other events I haven't gone for so I shall contain my disappointment as yet.

I want Gundam Seed Destiny! I still haven't ordered HBP! And I want dark chocolate!

Oh, must remind myself to go for health screening with Ashley on 2nd May...

..

"So...did you put the cucumber into the donut yesterday?" ~Eric

5th place in the competition...not bad huh? I wish I could have done better though. There's still another 2 more competitions in June before I am done climbing for good, unless there's intra-college competition. Ah...another thing to look forward too...not. I still want to rest my ankle so that it's fully healed before I run for the Sport's Day heats, which is on the last week of April...Heal, ankle, heal!

Oh yeah, there was this question that was asked to one of our climbers before one of the competitions, "Do you believe in resting on the day before the competition or do you believe in sexual activities to arouse yourself?" ...or something like that lah... and the reply was, "No, no, I don't believe in such things. I sex daily."

...

You can just roll your eyes at him, you know...

Anyway, I've been wanting to read Queens Play but I've got no time! Sigh...but once I start, it's really hard to stop.

Why oh why must everyone be studying so hard these days? It's really irritating when I see slackers or should I say ex-slackers studying...

And there's still the month of July when HBP will be released. I can't wait...I haven't ordered yet though, so must do it soon...when I got time to go out...

You know, the day Ms Rukhaidah left us to go to Australia is quite sad...though I didn't feel it then, I suddenly feel it now...gosh, my reaction time is quite slow huh...love the part when she showed us the star in the apple...I told Ber I didn't cry then and she was like asking me why was I such a cold-hearted person...funny question really...

Ok, I've been online so long and yet I've not done what I intended to do...sigh...

..

"It's better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret."

Love Lymond. I was reading Queen's Play during the holidays...only read halfway though. Damn touching...he's poisoned and still wanted to help the queen. Everyone's worried about him but himself...isn't he just the perfect person everyone including me fall for? And I want to continue reading but must start on my work already...sigh.

At least I wasn't the only one who slacked during the hols. Though I shouldn't be thinking of it that way...Term 2 already...argh...how did he get straight As huh???

I still got competition this Friday, which I shouldn't have joined because of my ankle...I don't feel like climbing much these days...'cause of Daniel and his stupid idea that we shouldn't bother training since we are not climbing for the national competition which is in September, and that time it'll be our Prelims. Why did they push the nationals so far back...stupid lah...we had been winning the comp for so many years ...not fair that TPJC can't enter and win again...though I don't really mind not entering...feeling so tired these days...people got trouble not falling asleep, and I got trouble waking up. Sigh...

Wish I can slack lah...we ended early today 'cause we have no more malay lessons since we got our results already, so the girls went out to eat but Renny tagged along to chase after who else but that girl everyone knows he likes...damn irritating...making silly lame jokes and talking crap, those kind of crap where I keep telling him to shut up and he just keep repeating "Huh?". And usually when I say shut up, the other person will say something else, but not he. He just keep repeating the same irritating word...I wanted to slap his face lah...seriously...but still it was fun when he was aiming at others, namely Liling...haha...I guess he's quite cute...

But now I'm home and I've got work to do...

And I want chocolate...

..

"Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done."

My ankle is still swollen and I'm still walking all over Singapore...when will my ankle ever heal...well, actually I just went to Suntec (Career Fair) then to Shafia's place (to get RG Malay Drama tickets) then to RG itself for the drama...quite an eventful Saturday... and on Friday I saw my crush and he talked to me! He was collecting his As results and he saw my bandaged ankle and he talked to me! Gosh, I miss talking to him...and he got straight As too...he must become my idol so I can aim for straight As...yeah!

I sprained my ankle when I fell from rock climbing, which swelled to a disgusting size only 6 hours later at 1am, went to the doctor then and he said it might be a fracture which scared the hell out of me, 'cause competitions are coming up, but alhamdulillah it wasn't, after the x-ray was done. But it hurts when I have to limp all the way to Tampines Mall the next day to catch Howl's Moving Castle (such a sweet show), being left behind by my friends once or twice, trying to catch up and feeling irritated...as if I'm a burden to them...why do I have to sprain my ankle the day before the movie comes out?

And I really don't feel like doing any studying with an ankle like this. Eric was in the library handing out blank pieces of paper and telling people to prepare their time-table for A-levels and I happily told him I already made them. Of course, just because I already did my time-table doesn't mean I'm following it right? Man, this sucks...I hope I don't regret next year.

Oh, did you know that Constantine had a twin, but he strangled his twin with his umbilical cord when they were still in his mother's womb? Or so his dad told him...totally morbid...

..

"Her soul would go straight to Hell, where she'd be ripped into bloody chunks over and over in screaming brutal agony for all eternity." ~Constantine about Isabel

I asked my sister what to do when you love a guy but the guy does not love you back, and my sis said, "Just believe that he's gay."
That got a laugh out of me.

.

You have to be egoistic, otherwise you'll kill yourself. -Ber

Heh...see that colourful blinking banner at the side there saying "TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!"? See it? See the date up there at the top? See it? Hahaha...let's sing together! Happy birthday to me! Yeah...Oh it's such a b-e-a-utiful day!

And oh so beautiful Yifang gave me 18 small balloons as part of my birthday present, which I left all around the floor of my room yesterday. When I woke up this morning, I thought that my hamster was running around my room, but then realised they are just balloons...then later I went online to play games and felt something rub against my feet and again I thought it's my hamster, but again they are just the balloons...I miss my hamster so much...sigh...I can only find 15 of my balloons eh, and one of them is deflated...wonder where the other three went...

Hmm...I'm going airport Swensens, then go jalan-jalan with family later...might have some doa selamat also, since my extended family is going...quite excited but it's kind of weird going out with them...don't really feel like talking to them...why why why I do not know...should try to have fun anyway...

Hmph, tomorrow right...tomorrow my countdown banner will reset itself to 365 days...And then 365 days later, I'll be another year older, and another year of my life would have gone. You know, living a life is not easy at all...and yet time flies, we still experience things, good and bad, and then the future becomes the present, and that...that is life...funny huh? I just find it funny...oh well...rubbishity stuff...dumdeedum...and I shall try to write more in my blog this year...quite boring right...see my mood lah...dumdeedum...happy happy happy birthday to me...and Merry Christmas to all and to all a Happy New Year!

Darn I wish it's Christmas. Oh well. Xin nian kuai le and gong xi fa cai everyone!

Yeah! I got my first birthday present of the year...love it!

I'm still letting my life rot, if this blog rots, it means I'm rotting...just in case anybody's wondering...though I doubt anybody is.

Going to school is totally different from home.

School there's friends, and I'm usually too busy with rock climbing to worry about anything else, since there's going to be one competition every month till June or July. So in school I'm either dreading rock climbing or too tired from rock climbing.

Then at home I fight with my conscience which keeps telling me to do tutorials. And it's always a miracle when I actually do it. You know, I had been failing everything in the 2nd semester last year, and managed to pull through for promos. And now, I still have no motivation to do my work, I hate doing my work and I totally despise tests and examinations. But stating that down doesn't help much does it?

That's why my life is rotting.

..

a little faith is all you need

It's mid-december, I'm still playing neopets, Joanne is reminding me to do my work, and I'm still ignoring her. Yeah.

..

My pokemon cards bring the nerds to the yard
And they're like "You wanna trade cards?"
Damn right I wanna trade cards
You can have two but not my charizard

I know you want it,
the thing that makes them,
what the nerds go crazy for.
They lose their hp,
the way I attack,
I think its fireblast time

la la-la la la,
warm it up.
la la-la la la,
the nerds are waiting

I can see you want it,
you want me to teach the
techniques that freak these nerds,
it can be bought,
for a charizard,
watch if your smart,

Once you get in a battle,
everyone will look this way-so,
you must maintain your charmander,
same time maintain your wailord,
just get the perfect blend,
plus what you have within,
then next they're eyes are squint,
then they have picked up your sweet scent...

(Yeah, yeah, I know. I seriously need to grow up.)

My hamster died the other day, and I didn't cry or even think about it then, but now I realise how quiet my late-night studying has been nowadays (that is, while I'm studying for my religious class exam). There's no more "Goo goo ga ga," or "Whoshe cute wittle hamshter?" or tickling of the hamster and watching her run around me as I sit on the floor with my book on my lap...

My sister ain't going to buy another hamster because it's too much work...there's too much work for me too, of course, but I'm still crushed...who can I turn to at night now (while I'm staying up studying till 4a.m.)? Who can I disturb anytime I want now? Sigh...I miss her so much...here's to you, my furry little friend.

Cheesepiecheesepiecheesepiecheesepiecheesepie...it's a dirty word...oh nevermind...I'll tell you when you reach Singapore, jw.

Anyway, I'm back from Genting. We went together with my aunt's husband's family for the first time...and I fell for my aunt's husband's brother...he's quite cute...and quite young too. Sigh...I have to stop falling for guys...I always do, and then I'll get so shy and quite...afraid of embarrassing myself...sigh...

My sister is getting so close to this guy and soon she might have a boyfriend and I just know that I'll be the last one to marry in this family man...

Why am I talking about this...when it's already first of December and I should start on my work...Can you believe it's first of December already?

...

"It's probably just Draco," Ron said, then clamped his mouth shut. What on earth had possessed him to speak?
"I know what Draco Malfoy looks like," said Mortenson, aggrieved. "I know because he came by the office today."
Voldemort looked almost interested. "Did he?" he asked.
"He did. And- he brought his girlfriend with her."
Rhysenn arched an eyebrow. "He has a girlfriend?"
I can't believe this, Ron thought. I've been kidnapped by the forces of evil, dragged hundreds of miles to a remote mountain fortress, I'm surrounded by demons and vampires, and everyone is still discussing bloody Draco Malfoy's bloody sex life. There is no justice.
~Draco Veritas

Say "Cheese pie" 5 times out loud and very fast. Just keep repeating it and you'll get it. Damn lame actually...

And yeah! I'm going Genting again! Wow! I've gone there every year! I can't wait to go AGAIN! And I'll be there for 3 days...how FUN.

I haven't even packed my bag...it's 7a.m. now and we're leaving at 9a.m. and I still haven't packed my bag...just keep procrastinating, Munirah, and next year will be hell for you.

Oh yar, Eli and Sham, I'm sure we can go out around Cristmas...oh what a busy life I live...not.

This place is so stagnant I'm starting to breed mosquitoes again. I've been playing Neopets only so don't really have time for my blog...do you know how slow the Wheel of Monotony is spinning? Argh...So anyway, for the sake of updates...:

I'm going KL batu caves next week for 7 days with the rock climbing team to rock climb natural rocks. It's sure going to be fun. But of course, we need to train first so that we got the endurance to climb the routes there. But then we are leaving on Monday night, which is the second day of Hari Raya and I'm going to miss it! Oh what a thing to sacrifice just for rock climbing...money...sobsobsob...I want green packets...sobsobsob...

{Oh great...too many people speaking with me via msn...I'm so afraid they might ask me to go out with them...I really want to but there's no time!

That's the problem whenever I go online...I'll chitchat and chatchit until I can't finish updating my blog.

But I'll try harder this time.}

So...I got promoted yap. They moderated my Chemistry, increasing my mark by 10, so I failed Biology but passed Chem. I'm going to seriously study hard in December, man. If I don't I'll just die for As.

{And I was right! She did ask me to go out with her...sigh...so sad I might have to refuse...and why do I have to ask about Promos? All of them did very well but me lah.}

But why bother about studies that now when it's still November? Hah...we had class outing last Monday and we went ice-skating! (I really miss the 202 righties ice-skating trips...) And I don't know why but the only prominent things I remember from that Monday were the falling down part and the getting wet part and the freezing part. Haha...but it was still fun...we had speed skating with Alvin who caused Bernice to knock into a group of people once and he said, "If those people had died, that's it lah. I would seriously run away lah." Then we had Renny falling over and over again but he's quite a fast learner since it was he's first time ice-skating. And we also had Joanne who kept complaining, "There's so many people!"...hehe...but Sigh...it's so sad that we have to go off once we got the hang of ice-skating...heh...

My class is so fun. There's this 'funny', 'weird' guy in my class, Dexter, who keeps doing weird things in class and is so irritating that he always gets comments like, "I'm going to take off my shoe and throw it at this guy..." and "You know, Osama shouldn't kill all those people in the two towers...he should kill this guy instead." Actually only Shafiq said that...he can be mean sometimes, but I bet Dexter is so blur he don't know what Shafiq is talking about...

We're going out again on Wednesday to see Alvin and also Bell off at the airport. It's so sad that Alvin has to go away to Australia. He's the only guy in class nice enough to make friends with Dexter. The other guys are all so childish they don't bother lah.

And oh I made it to become an OGL yeah! I don't really know what's so exciting about it but it's going to be fun still I bet. Gosh, I must really study hard and not get too busy that I fail all my tests on the first week of January next year. Time just keeps flying. I think if I can chose a supernatural power, I would chose to stop time. That would be so great.

..

‘Oh, stop quoting and give me something to shoot’
‘Suit yourself,’ sighed Foaly, selecting what looked like a finger from the rack.
‘What’s that?’
‘It’s a finger. What does it look like?’
‘A finger,’ admitted Root.
‘Yes, but not any ordinary finger.’ He glanced around to make sure that no one else was watching. ‘The tip contains a pressurized dart. One shot only. You tap the knuckle with your thumb and someone goes sleepy-bye.’
‘Why haven’t I seen this before?’
‘It’s a covert kinda thing…’
‘And?’ said Root suspiciously.
‘Well, there have been accidents…’
‘Tell me, Foaly.’
‘Our agents keep forgetting they have it on.’
‘Meaning they shoot themselves.’
Foaly nodded miserably. ‘One of our best sprites was picking his nose at the time. Three days on the critical list.’
~Artemis Fowl

Ok, fine, I don't hate it. I must look at things positively and learn from my mistakes. What does it matter if I don't follow my 2004 new year's resolutions, right?

..

‘Are we good to go?’ roared Root into his mike, as though it wasn’t whisper-sensitive.
‘No need to shout Commander. These headsets could pick up a spider scratching in Madagascar.’
‘And is there a spider scratching in Madagascar?’
‘Well…I don’t really know. They can’t really–’
‘Well, stop changing the subject, Foaly, and answer the question!’

~Artemis Fowl

i totatally hate this. i totally hate this. i totally hate this. i want to act confident. i am confident, i am. but am i really? i just do not want to think about it. lucky some people get to go overseas. don't need to study in jc. stupid stressful life. i hate this. complacent. depression. stupidity. regret. idioticness...is there such a word? y can't i just...just...just...shut off my mind somehow...sigh...forget it. i just totally hate this. it's my own fault anyway. if i got retained, then i deserve it. i deserve to get retained. deserve to be embarrassed when the new j1s come in. deserve to lose all the nice friends i made this year. deserve to die. should i post this or just throw it away? i shall