I am really worried. I was excited at first but now I'm worried.
I'm afraid if I'll embarass myself or make myself look stupid. Like that time in OBS when I actually volunteered to be in charge of something, the raft-building I think. I don't know why I did that but I ended up making people irritated 'cause I didn't contribute much, didn't take note of the the time, and didn't help them come to a solution or something like that. What if I do that again?
Then in OBS I also did that stick-to-someone thing like I did with Liyana. I don't know whether I annoyed the person for following her around wherever she goes, but if I did, gosh did I look stupid!
I really want to look forward to the orientation, but I don't know...there are also the boys and I must be prepared to be holding hands with them or lying on them or something, like the ones in the pictures of orientation shown. Maybe it's only in rj but then...sigh, I bet most don't even think of this.
Right, Munirah. You must not irritate or annoy people, although I've been trying hard not to since I was born. But then I still did it, like the time I kept pestering Eunice for the lotr vcd...
Why must I only remember the bad memories and not the good ones? Why am I so worried over this? I was so worried about my Os but yet I didn't do anything about it. Maybe it's because I'm worried and ignorant at the same time. But really...you'd think someone who worries so much might actually be so careful that she does a very good job at everything. Like how you'd think a quiet person like me might actually be smart, listening to the lessons instead of talking so much. But guess what? Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam besi berkarat. I'm the 'besi'.
...Maybe I should be more confident, you know? Instead of being so worried and distressed...
xx
"If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it."
Kaimisuki-just a blog
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Sunday, December 21, 2003
I haven't been online much these days because my younger sister keeps using it, and for what? To read Draco Trilogy. Ya, sure it's fun and everything, hearing her laugh and recalling all the funny parts of the story, but really, it's getting a bit irritating 'cause she won't let me use the computer! And then there's my older sister who keeps wanting to play bloody pool with her boyfriend online. I can't use the computer peacefully without having them standing behind me and casting shadows over the screen. Then there's my mother who has just finished her computer course and wants to use it too! I so want a labtop of my own...
Then again, why am I complaining when I won't be doing anything usefull online? Not that I'd be doing anything usefull offline...
Except maybe staring at my fishes. Ok, it's not useful, but it's pretty interesting...somehow. I didn't know feeding fishes can be so fun. I mean, I can sit in front of the fish tank for a whole half an hour. Actually only about 15 minutes staring at the goldfishes, then 10 minutes staring at the lohan, then another 5 minutes staring at the baby goldfishes.
Yap, my goldfishes laid eggs again, and so we moved them to a new tank and now they've hatched! I didn't really count but I think it's about 15-20 babies. So cute!
I wish my caterpillars would start appearing again though. I guess it's not mating season for the butterflies...
At least I passed my Perdaus.
But the three resolutions for next year? Hah. Resolution no. 2)Never ever mess up my room ever again. I must always pick up after myself. Hah! My room is quite messy now. I tried cleaning it up but it still looks pretty bad. I spend like half the holidays cleaning up my room and it's still messy. Ok, I'm exagerating, but it really is. I wish I make better use of my time...
Well, Shamiah's holidays have been rather fruitfull. Mine haven't. All I did was play Monopoly with my sisters (which my older sister keeps asking for breaks so she can call her boyfriend, and she's the banker too). Then next week is Christmas and my family will be at Malaysia from Wednesday to Saturday night. Then school starts.
I really should start doing something.
xx
"From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it."
Then again, why am I complaining when I won't be doing anything usefull online? Not that I'd be doing anything usefull offline...
Except maybe staring at my fishes. Ok, it's not useful, but it's pretty interesting...somehow. I didn't know feeding fishes can be so fun. I mean, I can sit in front of the fish tank for a whole half an hour. Actually only about 15 minutes staring at the goldfishes, then 10 minutes staring at the lohan, then another 5 minutes staring at the baby goldfishes.
Yap, my goldfishes laid eggs again, and so we moved them to a new tank and now they've hatched! I didn't really count but I think it's about 15-20 babies. So cute!
I wish my caterpillars would start appearing again though. I guess it's not mating season for the butterflies...
At least I passed my Perdaus.
But the three resolutions for next year? Hah. Resolution no. 2)Never ever mess up my room ever again. I must always pick up after myself. Hah! My room is quite messy now. I tried cleaning it up but it still looks pretty bad. I spend like half the holidays cleaning up my room and it's still messy. Ok, I'm exagerating, but it really is. I wish I make better use of my time...
Well, Shamiah's holidays have been rather fruitfull. Mine haven't. All I did was play Monopoly with my sisters (which my older sister keeps asking for breaks so she can call her boyfriend, and she's the banker too). Then next week is Christmas and my family will be at Malaysia from Wednesday to Saturday night. Then school starts.
I really should start doing something.
xx
"From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it."
Monday, December 15, 2003
Chandler-Donald Duck: from the Friends show. I got it online actually. So cute right?
So anyway, Saddam's captured. I got interested in what others have got to say:
"they should use him for nuclar practice
After all, there is only one country in the world that has deliberately killed people with nuclear weapons...usa usa usa usa..."
and then the arguments start:
"Why would they need a dictatorship in the us? The big corporations and the rich have figured out how to run things while keeping the facade of a "democracy". A neat trick..."
"And if the us is so against dictatorships, why are they allies to saudi arabia? Why did the us help overthrow the elected government in chile and replace it with...a dictatorship? Why doesn't the us go into sudan, burma, north korea, or any of the other countries where the government abuses its people (could it be because of a lack of oil?)"
"If bush attacked all terrorist countrys, he wouldn't be attacking iraq, but instead he would attack the U.S. But his "war on terrorism" isn't going to include the U.S just like everything else. Thats why the U.N is getting mad at the U.S."
"You want to know what I think? I think Bush had already gotten Saddan a long time ago but never said that so he could keep playing the world-savior-hero. Now that reelections time is coming he simply take Hussein out of his hat an present it to his people againg trying to play the "big boss" "
but I like this one:
"If Al Gore was in there would have been no Golf war 2! Where did this Iraq thing come from? Bush probably woke up one morning and said. War"
then there are the sad stories on the war:
"i hated it because my dad went but omg hes comein home he'll be here in 3 days i just heard from my mom yehh"
"I will honestly pity my brother, if the whole war does turn out to be for oil. The only thing that keeps him going over there is the thought that he is making a differance to the Iraqi people. He sent me a picture just a few days ago, of a little Iraqi girl hugging him. He wept over that.
I don't agree with the war. but I will defend my brother. Some say he is the equivilant of a terrorist,but..."
Sigh...got all these from the Neopets chat boards. I don't know what to say really.
xx
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. - Aldous Huxley
So anyway, Saddam's captured. I got interested in what others have got to say:
"they should use him for nuclar practice
After all, there is only one country in the world that has deliberately killed people with nuclear weapons...usa usa usa usa..."
and then the arguments start:
"Why would they need a dictatorship in the us? The big corporations and the rich have figured out how to run things while keeping the facade of a "democracy". A neat trick..."
"And if the us is so against dictatorships, why are they allies to saudi arabia? Why did the us help overthrow the elected government in chile and replace it with...a dictatorship? Why doesn't the us go into sudan, burma, north korea, or any of the other countries where the government abuses its people (could it be because of a lack of oil?)"
"If bush attacked all terrorist countrys, he wouldn't be attacking iraq, but instead he would attack the U.S. But his "war on terrorism" isn't going to include the U.S just like everything else. Thats why the U.N is getting mad at the U.S."
"You want to know what I think? I think Bush had already gotten Saddan a long time ago but never said that so he could keep playing the world-savior-hero. Now that reelections time is coming he simply take Hussein out of his hat an present it to his people againg trying to play the "big boss" "
but I like this one:
"If Al Gore was in there would have been no Golf war 2! Where did this Iraq thing come from? Bush probably woke up one morning and said. War"
then there are the sad stories on the war:
"i hated it because my dad went but omg hes comein home he'll be here in 3 days i just heard from my mom yehh"
"I will honestly pity my brother, if the whole war does turn out to be for oil. The only thing that keeps him going over there is the thought that he is making a differance to the Iraqi people. He sent me a picture just a few days ago, of a little Iraqi girl hugging him. He wept over that.
I don't agree with the war. but I will defend my brother. Some say he is the equivilant of a terrorist,but..."
Sigh...got all these from the Neopets chat boards. I don't know what to say really.
xx
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. - Aldous Huxley
Saturday, December 13, 2003
My mum...I went to McDonalds to eat with her today, and when she finished, she pour out the ice from the cup and washed her hands with them right there. Embarassing! Ok, there wasn't really that many people there 'cause it's still early, but still, there's the toilet, you know. And what's the tissue for?
Sheesh...anyway, I found out from Voyage to the Future that there is about 7 trillion calories of food that the earth can offer. And they calculated that at Singapore's average consumption of calories, the earth can only support 5.3/5.4 billion people instead of 6.3 billion people (the current earth population). That's only Singapore. Other countries like India's rate of consumption can support more people.
Anyway, the point is that we in Singapore should consume less. Like, hello? I'm a bit underweight and they are still expecting me to eat less? I hardly even eat breakfast these days, 'cause my mum hardly cooks. So it's not my fault if the earth's food supply is totally over-consumed, issit?
I sound like Mia Thermopolis in the Princess Diaries...except that I'm not doing anything about it.
Guilt?
xx
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa
Sheesh...anyway, I found out from Voyage to the Future that there is about 7 trillion calories of food that the earth can offer. And they calculated that at Singapore's average consumption of calories, the earth can only support 5.3/5.4 billion people instead of 6.3 billion people (the current earth population). That's only Singapore. Other countries like India's rate of consumption can support more people.
Anyway, the point is that we in Singapore should consume less. Like, hello? I'm a bit underweight and they are still expecting me to eat less? I hardly even eat breakfast these days, 'cause my mum hardly cooks. So it's not my fault if the earth's food supply is totally over-consumed, issit?
I sound like Mia Thermopolis in the Princess Diaries...except that I'm not doing anything about it.
Guilt?
xx
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa
Friday, December 12, 2003
17th Dec...5 more days...TTT...then there's the results for the JCs...I keep thinking I might just end up with my 12th choice or something...and that's the Arts stream! Well, I difinitely can't get my 1st choice...sigh...anyway, when my aunts & uncles visited me, they did ask whether I can enter JC or not...luckily I can...imagine if I had to say no...
When my aunt and uncle visited yesterday, somehow we happened to talk about getting jobs. They said when getting a job, it's not about making money. The three things you have to consider is
1) Can you manage it?
2) Do you like it?
3) What is you're contribution to the community?
So really, all the time I thought making money is the most important factor...that's what my mum had been saying since young, to be a doctor so that we can become rich and live in a bungalow blahblahblah. But then being a doctor also doesn't mean we'll be rich. Only specialists are the rich ones. Even if I do want to become a doctor, they said being a malay would affect me too. There was one malay who applied to become one and his parents were also interviewed, not only him alone. I'm not sure about that though.
One relative of mine who had a pilot's degree couldn't get the job as he was taught overseas or something. It is important that we follow the institutions that the goverment approve to get that pilot's degree to become a pilot.
What job am i going to get? What does my future have in store for me? I guess the only thing I can do now is to study study study. I'll have to compete against those from China, US and other foreigners, so I have to work hard. Like what Jaime said, Let's work hard. And Liyana and I promised each other to study extra hard in JC, so I will.
I'm just scared. What if I make all this promises and in the end, I don't keep them? Like how I promised to work hard when I found out I was going to RGS four years ago, and yet I didn't? Why must time fly so fast? Almost half of December is gone and soon...soon...well, you know, JC...
xx
Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I? -- Lockhart
When my aunt and uncle visited yesterday, somehow we happened to talk about getting jobs. They said when getting a job, it's not about making money. The three things you have to consider is
1) Can you manage it?
2) Do you like it?
3) What is you're contribution to the community?
So really, all the time I thought making money is the most important factor...that's what my mum had been saying since young, to be a doctor so that we can become rich and live in a bungalow blahblahblah. But then being a doctor also doesn't mean we'll be rich. Only specialists are the rich ones. Even if I do want to become a doctor, they said being a malay would affect me too. There was one malay who applied to become one and his parents were also interviewed, not only him alone. I'm not sure about that though.
One relative of mine who had a pilot's degree couldn't get the job as he was taught overseas or something. It is important that we follow the institutions that the goverment approve to get that pilot's degree to become a pilot.
What job am i going to get? What does my future have in store for me? I guess the only thing I can do now is to study study study. I'll have to compete against those from China, US and other foreigners, so I have to work hard. Like what Jaime said, Let's work hard. And Liyana and I promised each other to study extra hard in JC, so I will.
I'm just scared. What if I make all this promises and in the end, I don't keep them? Like how I promised to work hard when I found out I was going to RGS four years ago, and yet I didn't? Why must time fly so fast? Almost half of December is gone and soon...soon...well, you know, JC...
xx
Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I? -- Lockhart
Monday, December 08, 2003
"the trees are all cut down :( those across the road from my estate. all just to build the new mrt line and interchange. i can see the devastation from here. it hurts."
I almost cried. I didn't even see the devastation and I almost cried...It kind of hurts me...I'm torn between the fact that we have to develop, and the fact that the trees are all dying! It's not fair! Those poor trees...and imagine the squirrels in those trees. I mean, if you look outside the window of some of the classrooms in RGS, you can see one or two squirrels running up the tree trunk! If one tree is a home to one squirrel, how many squirrels have died in the building of the new mrt line and interchange??? ...Argh! I can't help it!
Sigh...
Sigh...
Life is not fair...
Sigh...
Get over it Munirah.
...okaaay...
Well, my Perdaus exams are over. Finally! I think I'm going to fail again, like I did last year. You know what? I'm going to make three new resolutions for next year:
1) Never ever study last minute ever again.
2) Never ever mess up my room ever again. Must always always pick up after myself.
3) Never ever miss any solat ever again.
I've never really made new year resolutions. Even if I did, it was one just for the sake of it, knowing I'll never keep to it. This time, it's sirius. I mean, serious.
"Flies, Padfoot. Flies." I keep writing that phrase just to keep Sirius alive. I'm nuts.
It's not even 17th Dec & I'm already thinking of the new year...2004...wow...soon, I'll be writing this: 9th February 2004. 63 more days!
But first, there's 17th Dec. I really want to know when my results are coming out. And of course, The Return of the King.
I also want to know my Perdaus results. The sooner I know I fail, the better...I think.
I better go finish up Princess Diaries and return them to Shamiah when she gets back...
And Shamiah, I actually meant quotes for the bottom of each of my entry, not hp quotes!
xx
Chandler: "You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"
I almost cried. I didn't even see the devastation and I almost cried...It kind of hurts me...I'm torn between the fact that we have to develop, and the fact that the trees are all dying! It's not fair! Those poor trees...and imagine the squirrels in those trees. I mean, if you look outside the window of some of the classrooms in RGS, you can see one or two squirrels running up the tree trunk! If one tree is a home to one squirrel, how many squirrels have died in the building of the new mrt line and interchange??? ...Argh! I can't help it!
Sigh...
Sigh...
Life is not fair...
Sigh...
Get over it Munirah.
...okaaay...
Well, my Perdaus exams are over. Finally! I think I'm going to fail again, like I did last year. You know what? I'm going to make three new resolutions for next year:
1) Never ever study last minute ever again.
2) Never ever mess up my room ever again. Must always always pick up after myself.
3) Never ever miss any solat ever again.
I've never really made new year resolutions. Even if I did, it was one just for the sake of it, knowing I'll never keep to it. This time, it's sirius. I mean, serious.
"Flies, Padfoot. Flies." I keep writing that phrase just to keep Sirius alive. I'm nuts.
It's not even 17th Dec & I'm already thinking of the new year...2004...wow...soon, I'll be writing this: 9th February 2004. 63 more days!
But first, there's 17th Dec. I really want to know when my results are coming out. And of course, The Return of the King.
I also want to know my Perdaus results. The sooner I know I fail, the better...I think.
I better go finish up Princess Diaries and return them to Shamiah when she gets back...
And Shamiah, I actually meant quotes for the bottom of each of my entry, not hp quotes!
xx
Chandler: "You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"
Friday, November 28, 2003
So my Hari Raya's not bad...except that my room's in a mess. I keep telling myself to clean up once I reach home but...well, you know...I count money instead...
$212!!!
Oh why am I so horrid? So money-minded? So thrifty? So filial? Actually not so...
My little sister is reading OotP now, saying, "Ever since I read the part Sirius died, I feel like killing whoever who wrote this book." She also mentioned she felt like screaming like I did when I read that part...lol...
Oh, now she is looking for some batteries I left in my room...which is totally impossible to find looking at the mess...
Then now she's given up, telling me to look for them later, which is a waste of breath...
And now she plans to watch HP and the Sorceror's Stone...at 1.24 AM...
Btw, I found a whole lot of quotes too...they're all over the net!
...Dudley's running up n down the stairs! Haha! THat is so stupid..."Wake up , Potter!"...Daniel looked so cute!! I mean baby-cute!
..."Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"...heh...
xx
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
$212!!!
Oh why am I so horrid? So money-minded? So thrifty? So filial? Actually not so...
My little sister is reading OotP now, saying, "Ever since I read the part Sirius died, I feel like killing whoever who wrote this book." She also mentioned she felt like screaming like I did when I read that part...lol...
Oh, now she is looking for some batteries I left in my room...which is totally impossible to find looking at the mess...
Then now she's given up, telling me to look for them later, which is a waste of breath...
And now she plans to watch HP and the Sorceror's Stone...at 1.24 AM...
Btw, I found a whole lot of quotes too...they're all over the net!
...Dudley's running up n down the stairs! Haha! THat is so stupid..."Wake up , Potter!"...Daniel looked so cute!! I mean baby-cute!
..."Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"...heh...
xx
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
I definitely need to look for better quotes...and yes, I'm counting down to my b-day!!! Haha!!! I'm going nuts...it's really HaRi RaYa!!! You can just here the songs over the radio and get all excited!! Haha!! And eli got a new handphone and she was so excited sms-ing everybody...just like me when I got mine! Haha!! eli's so damn cute...in school just now she was like, " Eh, tomorrow is Hari Raya...Selamat Hari Raya!" And I got this warm feeling of gratefullness and happiness...and...
...
And the music just stopped...my father's still repairing the radio...sigh...
...
Ok, music's back!
...
So anyway, she just said it in this cute way you know...of course, jw remembered too and she said it in her own cute way...haha...I'm seriously going nuts...and at 6.47p.m., eli messaged me with 'selamat hari raya' n then the 'bang' rang n the whole situation was just...you know, you here the bang then a chinese person sms-ed you exactly when Hari Raya starts...ok...whatever...haha...
...
Sigh, you know something else? I know I have gotten over the fact that I'm going to miss all my friends ('cause I kept dreaming about you people and that has stopped) and I thought I have gotten over the feeling of fear over the 'O's but just yester day I had a dream. It was Geo exam and I haven't studied a single thing...everybody around me was so confident and I acted like I was confident too, when actually I really wanted to read through my Geo file...it was SO scary! I don't know why...but then, I didn't really study for the actual thing...but anyway, when my sis woke up, she was asking me, "What happens if you really did fail you're O-levels?" And that was yesterday. She reapeated the same question today! Umm...that's actually yesterday, since it's past 12midnight now (which means it's officially HaRi RaYa). So then my sis was saying like how she actually thought she was going to fail her Os when she took it...sigh, I can't tell you how much I felt like killing her...it was just so frightening, when you're own family members don't believe in you...other than the fact that I just want to get my Os done and over with.
But hell, like I'm really going to worry about that? 'Cause I have other things to worry about, like how Meridian's cut-off point is 19 last year, while my current aggregate is 20 ('cause I'm going for the science stream)...I'm still going to put it as my first choice though...but hell again, 'cause I'm not going to worry about that either...
It's HaRi RaYa! Then it's aLmA mAtA! Although I'm not sure whether to be excited over that...Maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I happen to hurt any of you and was too ignorant to realise that...
xx
Last night I dreamed about being carried off by a giant squirrel...does that make me a nut??
...
And the music just stopped...my father's still repairing the radio...sigh...
...
Ok, music's back!
...
So anyway, she just said it in this cute way you know...of course, jw remembered too and she said it in her own cute way...haha...I'm seriously going nuts...and at 6.47p.m., eli messaged me with 'selamat hari raya' n then the 'bang' rang n the whole situation was just...you know, you here the bang then a chinese person sms-ed you exactly when Hari Raya starts...ok...whatever...haha...
...
Sigh, you know something else? I know I have gotten over the fact that I'm going to miss all my friends ('cause I kept dreaming about you people and that has stopped) and I thought I have gotten over the feeling of fear over the 'O's but just yester day I had a dream. It was Geo exam and I haven't studied a single thing...everybody around me was so confident and I acted like I was confident too, when actually I really wanted to read through my Geo file...it was SO scary! I don't know why...but then, I didn't really study for the actual thing...but anyway, when my sis woke up, she was asking me, "What happens if you really did fail you're O-levels?" And that was yesterday. She reapeated the same question today! Umm...that's actually yesterday, since it's past 12midnight now (which means it's officially HaRi RaYa). So then my sis was saying like how she actually thought she was going to fail her Os when she took it...sigh, I can't tell you how much I felt like killing her...it was just so frightening, when you're own family members don't believe in you...other than the fact that I just want to get my Os done and over with.
But hell, like I'm really going to worry about that? 'Cause I have other things to worry about, like how Meridian's cut-off point is 19 last year, while my current aggregate is 20 ('cause I'm going for the science stream)...I'm still going to put it as my first choice though...but hell again, 'cause I'm not going to worry about that either...
It's HaRi RaYa! Then it's aLmA mAtA! Although I'm not sure whether to be excited over that...Maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I happen to hurt any of you and was too ignorant to realise that...
xx
Last night I dreamed about being carried off by a giant squirrel...does that make me a nut??
Friday, November 21, 2003
Fluffy Mathematics! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Shamiah thought F-Maths stands for Fluffy Mathematics! Ha! I can't stand it! Imagine mathematics being fluffy! Unless we are talking about Hagrid's Fluffy, of course. Haha!
And whoever's taking econs, take a look at the topics:
1. The Central Problem of Economics
2. Resource Allocation - Individuals and Markets
3. Resource Allocation - Firms and Markets
4. Market Failure and Government
Microeconomic Policy
5. The Macro-economy
6. Theory of Income and Employment
Determination
7. The Main Macro-economic Problems
8. Macro-economic Policies
9. International Trade
::vomits blood::
Anyway, so far, I'm considering taking triple science, chem+phy+FM, or chem+bio+econ...but then I need an A2 for AM to get FM, & B3 for all sciences to get triple science (only for MJC, of course)...so basically I'm dead.
xx
"what's c and f stand for? f? fluffy?" ~ my friend.
And whoever's taking econs, take a look at the topics:
1. The Central Problem of Economics
2. Resource Allocation - Individuals and Markets
3. Resource Allocation - Firms and Markets
4. Market Failure and Government
Microeconomic Policy
5. The Macro-economy
6. Theory of Income and Employment
Determination
7. The Main Macro-economic Problems
8. Macro-economic Policies
9. International Trade
::vomits blood::
Anyway, so far, I'm considering taking triple science, chem+phy+FM, or chem+bio+econ...but then I need an A2 for AM to get FM, & B3 for all sciences to get triple science (only for MJC, of course)...so basically I'm dead.
xx
"what's c and f stand for? f? fluffy?" ~ my friend.
I'm in a very very bad mood. And my family's not helping...It sucks being stuck with your family for a whole day when I'm in a bad mood. I wish I can just scream at them but I can't 'cause it's not their fault. It's just me waking up on the wrong side of the bed...
And there's just so many things to clean! I don't know which notes to keep & which to throw away. If I throw away, my mum will keep asking me whether my little sis can use it in the future...happens every year...& my sis ain't helping either, shouting at me like that...
xx
This is so bloody boring. It’d be more exciting just to go to bed. ~ Days of our lives
And there's just so many things to clean! I don't know which notes to keep & which to throw away. If I throw away, my mum will keep asking me whether my little sis can use it in the future...happens every year...& my sis ain't helping either, shouting at me like that...
xx
This is so bloody boring. It’d be more exciting just to go to bed. ~ Days of our lives
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Have anybody ever heard of flying rods? (www.flyingrods.com) I just heard it from my sister who heard it from TV. I still don't know what to make of it, nor do I know what to mak of the Loch Ness monster, Big foot or UFOs. Maybe they are there & we are not supposed to know...so I guess I'll pretend I don't. Of course, if we were in the Matrix, they could probably be a glitch or a virus...that is a much easier explanation.
xx
"Are we real or just a part of the Matrix?"
xx
"Are we real or just a part of the Matrix?"
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
"I hate my sister. Idiot stupid person. I hate her." ~ my sister's blog
My sister hates me. I think everybody hates me. I've just been very ignorant, that's all. Lucky me. Going around the house & acting like an idiot...never realising I'm really irritating them. I always thought they knew I'm kidding around...I guess I better stop it, huh? Stop irritating people, start treating them like I want them to treat me...maybe help them with the housework...clean up the table after they eat...massage their backs...
Ok, I've really got to go. There's so many things to do...so many things to clean, so many things to find out, so many books to read...
Oh, I've watched Matrix Revolutions & it wasn't that bad what...its the ending to a trilogy! What did they expect? Actually I dont understand the ending...
xx
"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train that's going to squash you flat." ~ DT...?
My sister hates me. I think everybody hates me. I've just been very ignorant, that's all. Lucky me. Going around the house & acting like an idiot...never realising I'm really irritating them. I always thought they knew I'm kidding around...I guess I better stop it, huh? Stop irritating people, start treating them like I want them to treat me...maybe help them with the housework...clean up the table after they eat...massage their backs...
Ok, I've really got to go. There's so many things to do...so many things to clean, so many things to find out, so many books to read...
Oh, I've watched Matrix Revolutions & it wasn't that bad what...its the ending to a trilogy! What did they expect? Actually I dont understand the ending...
xx
"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train that's going to squash you flat." ~ DT...?
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
I got my dates for my Perdaus exams wrong…its on the 6th…more time to study…right…
…I keep imagining myself getting my results & realising I can’t get into the science stream...but that’s the better part. The worse part is not being accepted into JC. THEN I’ll have to go to poly & take bio tech, which my sister suggested...she also mentioned taking bio tech is just as good as going to JC…sigh…
...how could I have let them down? I died for my O-levels. I could have done much better but I didn’t. I took things for granted & wasted my 4 years here. I don’t deserve anything right now…
I’m regretting, I know, something which everyone have been telling me to avoid…I just want to forget about my ‘O’s. Forget about my whole life in rgs, being surrounded by all the smart people but never learning anything from them. But you know what I’m more afraid of? I’m afraid that I forget to regret. Then waste my next 2 years…again…
Gawd, I sound like an idiot.
xx
"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer." ~ Agent Smith
…I keep imagining myself getting my results & realising I can’t get into the science stream...but that’s the better part. The worse part is not being accepted into JC. THEN I’ll have to go to poly & take bio tech, which my sister suggested...she also mentioned taking bio tech is just as good as going to JC…sigh…
...how could I have let them down? I died for my O-levels. I could have done much better but I didn’t. I took things for granted & wasted my 4 years here. I don’t deserve anything right now…
I’m regretting, I know, something which everyone have been telling me to avoid…I just want to forget about my ‘O’s. Forget about my whole life in rgs, being surrounded by all the smart people but never learning anything from them. But you know what I’m more afraid of? I’m afraid that I forget to regret. Then waste my next 2 years…again…
Gawd, I sound like an idiot.
xx
"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer." ~ Agent Smith
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Ok, before I don't come online until the 27th, I've got this to say: I've heard everything about Matrix Revolution from my elder sis. And...I'm not gonna say much, but then I guess everybody's heard, the plot aint that cool, 'cause I expected better. How uncool is it? It's how in Matrix, Trinity kissing Neo & resurrecting him. And how in Matrix Reloaded, Neo pulling out the bullet from Trinity. That's how uncool it is. But hell. Maybe those who haven't watch it should try not to expect anything. It's not a stupid show nor is it great. Decide that after you watch it. Heh. Neo...what can I say about Neo...he is one freaking dude.
So now, I have to depend on the actions & animations now to ensure that I get some excitement from watching Matrix Reloaded.
Let's hope lotr3 & hp3 is better...but then there are critics for every movie.
xx
"Yeah. Free my mind. Right. No problem." ~ Neo
So now, I have to depend on the actions & animations now to ensure that I get some excitement from watching Matrix Reloaded.
Let's hope lotr3 & hp3 is better...but then there are critics for every movie.
xx
"Yeah. Free my mind. Right. No problem." ~ Neo
Saturday, November 08, 2003
My Malay paper was easy. And I'm even more scared. 'Cause if I don't get an A1...that shows how stupid I am...
Anyway, I'm not ever going online again till the 18th...actually it should be the 27th, 'cause my Perdaus Paper is on the 26th...I think...so that means I have to write my animal story some other time...
xx
Don't Quit! ~ from the Chicken Soup for the Soul
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When stress is pressing down on you,
Rest if you must - But don't you quit!
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, tho' the pace seems slow. -
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint & faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he captured the victors cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was, to the golden crown.
Success is a failure turned inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And your can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst you mustn't quit.
Anyway, I'm not ever going online again till the 18th...actually it should be the 27th, 'cause my Perdaus Paper is on the 26th...I think...so that means I have to write my animal story some other time...
xx
Don't Quit! ~ from the Chicken Soup for the Soul
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When stress is pressing down on you,
Rest if you must - But don't you quit!
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, tho' the pace seems slow. -
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint & faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he captured the victors cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was, to the golden crown.
Success is a failure turned inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And your can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst you mustn't quit.
Friday, November 07, 2003
After school. Everybody's gone. Switch off the lights closest to the windows (lest reflection on the glass). Switch off the air-con (to be environmentally friendly...no lar just cold)...& finally sitting down at the teacher's table to use the computer...actually the computer's not the teacher's table. It's beside it. How come this table has never been called the computer table? Err...anyway, just saying I won't be doing this next year...
Muthu haven't replied for some months because he got an accident! Or was he just sick? Sigh...just thinking...if our penpals suddenly got into an accident & died (touch wood), we would never ever know he'd dead. All we'd know is he had stopped replying to our emails. When actually he can't do that because he's wiped from the surface of the earth. Scary.
xx
"Don't let your mind wonder. It's much too small to be off onits own anyway."
Muthu haven't replied for some months because he got an accident! Or was he just sick? Sigh...just thinking...if our penpals suddenly got into an accident & died (touch wood), we would never ever know he'd dead. All we'd know is he had stopped replying to our emails. When actually he can't do that because he's wiped from the surface of the earth. Scary.
xx
"Don't let your mind wonder. It's much too small to be off onits own anyway."
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Monday, November 03, 2003
I can't even watch Days of Our Lives in peace! I'm nuts. I'm stupid. Ayah keeps telling me to stop going online / watching tv & start studying but the more he says that, the more I don't want to study... & that is wrong! Argh! I hate him! I hate my mum too! I hate it when she comes into my room while I'm studying. Like this morning when I was studying & ibu woke up to eat sahur & she comes into my room & asked me if I've eaten & I felt this surge of anger...what is wrong with me? I don't hate them...
...
I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...
...
Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.
xx
"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
...
I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...
...
Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.
xx
"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
Saturday, November 01, 2003
I thought I lost my graduation ring...& I thought that's pretty horrible...but then my sis found it in the washing machine...& now it's scratched & all...-sniff.sniff-
I actually planned the things I'm gonna do after 'O's:
- bathe 2x a day (+brushing teeth)
(these days I bathe once in two days...)
- mengaji everyday
- start jogging again (weekly)
- wash dishes, throw the garbage, sweep/vacuum the floor, etc...(& hopefully get $$ too)
- actually *learn* to cook
- start reading mly & el newspaper
- read newsweek
- buy national geographic (if parents let me...$$?)
- &, the best of all, go library everyday!
- of course, there's also THE MATRIX, RETURN OF THE KING & HP PoA!
- pLuS HaRi RaYa!!!
But there are still people taking exams after 'O's, like xiao tian taking some Jap exam after Alma Matta, & me taking my religious class exams after HaRi RaYa...oh well...I know that every beginning has an end (y must Sirius die???) but exams definitely defy that.
Lalala...what was tt quote? "You may have missed the beauty of the morning, but do not miss the evening dew." (Hollond V) I hate that stupid WanWan. Who does she think she is? How come she thinks all the guys she choose for her sisters are the 'right' ones? And poor Xiong ge! How could she leave him like that? Btw, I like Yanyan's attitude. If I were in that family, I would be Yanyan. Definitely NOT RouRou...can't even fight a guy like Tianxiang...oh whatever. &...does 7-eleven really sells condoms? My sister was asking...
Then there's Salman who went to VJC(?) with his Josephian of the Year Award & his sportings talents...Shamiah's stressed having such a perfect cousin. While I am just trying to forget him...he has a girlfriend anyway(?)...
About my studies, I've got this to quote: "The first award spurred me on to go for the 2nd & 3rd award."
And this to say: "How come I never get spurred on by anything?"
xx
Fact: Coffee is the 2nd most widely traded commodity in the world, with oil ranked first and steel third.
I actually planned the things I'm gonna do after 'O's:
- bathe 2x a day (+brushing teeth)
(these days I bathe once in two days...)
- mengaji everyday
- start jogging again (weekly)
- wash dishes, throw the garbage, sweep/vacuum the floor, etc...(& hopefully get $$ too)
- actually *learn* to cook
- start reading mly & el newspaper
- read newsweek
- buy national geographic (if parents let me...$$?)
- &, the best of all, go library everyday!
- of course, there's also THE MATRIX, RETURN OF THE KING & HP PoA!
- pLuS HaRi RaYa!!!
But there are still people taking exams after 'O's, like xiao tian taking some Jap exam after Alma Matta, & me taking my religious class exams after HaRi RaYa...oh well...I know that every beginning has an end (y must Sirius die???) but exams definitely defy that.
Lalala...what was tt quote? "You may have missed the beauty of the morning, but do not miss the evening dew." (Hollond V) I hate that stupid WanWan. Who does she think she is? How come she thinks all the guys she choose for her sisters are the 'right' ones? And poor Xiong ge! How could she leave him like that? Btw, I like Yanyan's attitude. If I were in that family, I would be Yanyan. Definitely NOT RouRou...can't even fight a guy like Tianxiang...oh whatever. &...does 7-eleven really sells condoms? My sister was asking...
Then there's Salman who went to VJC(?) with his Josephian of the Year Award & his sportings talents...Shamiah's stressed having such a perfect cousin. While I am just trying to forget him...he has a girlfriend anyway(?)...
About my studies, I've got this to quote: "The first award spurred me on to go for the 2nd & 3rd award."
And this to say: "How come I never get spurred on by anything?"
xx
Fact: Coffee is the 2nd most widely traded commodity in the world, with oil ranked first and steel third.