So my Hari Raya's not bad...except that my room's in a mess. I keep telling myself to clean up once I reach home but...well, you know...I count money instead...

$212!!!

Oh why am I so horrid? So money-minded? So thrifty? So filial? Actually not so...

My little sister is reading OotP now, saying, "Ever since I read the part Sirius died, I feel like killing whoever who wrote this book." She also mentioned she felt like screaming like I did when I read that part...lol...

Oh, now she is looking for some batteries I left in my room...which is totally impossible to find looking at the mess...

Then now she's given up, telling me to look for them later, which is a waste of breath...

And now she plans to watch HP and the Sorceror's Stone...at 1.24 AM...

Btw, I found a whole lot of quotes too...they're all over the net!

...Dudley's running up n down the stairs! Haha! THat is so stupid..."Wake up , Potter!"...Daniel looked so cute!! I mean baby-cute!

..."Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"...heh...

xx

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

My sister thought NYJC is New York JC...the younger one...smart right?

I'm running out of quotes!!!

xx

"If you fall off a cliff, you might as well try to teach yourself to fly on the way down."

I definitely need to look for better quotes...and yes, I'm counting down to my b-day!!! Haha!!! I'm going nuts...it's really HaRi RaYa!!! You can just here the songs over the radio and get all excited!! Haha!! And eli got a new handphone and she was so excited sms-ing everybody...just like me when I got mine! Haha!! eli's so damn cute...in school just now she was like, " Eh, tomorrow is Hari Raya...Selamat Hari Raya!" And I got this warm feeling of gratefullness and happiness...and...
...
And the music just stopped...my father's still repairing the radio...sigh...
...
Ok, music's back!
...
So anyway, she just said it in this cute way you know...of course, jw remembered too and she said it in her own cute way...haha...I'm seriously going nuts...and at 6.47p.m., eli messaged me with 'selamat hari raya' n then the 'bang' rang n the whole situation was just...you know, you here the bang then a chinese person sms-ed you exactly when Hari Raya starts...ok...whatever...haha...
...
Sigh, you know something else? I know I have gotten over the fact that I'm going to miss all my friends ('cause I kept dreaming about you people and that has stopped) and I thought I have gotten over the feeling of fear over the 'O's but just yester day I had a dream. It was Geo exam and I haven't studied a single thing...everybody around me was so confident and I acted like I was confident too, when actually I really wanted to read through my Geo file...it was SO scary! I don't know why...but then, I didn't really study for the actual thing...but anyway, when my sis woke up, she was asking me, "What happens if you really did fail you're O-levels?" And that was yesterday. She reapeated the same question today! Umm...that's actually yesterday, since it's past 12midnight now (which means it's officially HaRi RaYa). So then my sis was saying like how she actually thought she was going to fail her Os when she took it...sigh, I can't tell you how much I felt like killing her...it was just so frightening, when you're own family members don't believe in you...other than the fact that I just want to get my Os done and over with.

But hell, like I'm really going to worry about that? 'Cause I have other things to worry about, like how Meridian's cut-off point is 19 last year, while my current aggregate is 20 ('cause I'm going for the science stream)...I'm still going to put it as my first choice though...but hell again, 'cause I'm not going to worry about that either...

It's HaRi RaYa! Then it's aLmA mAtA! Although I'm not sure whether to be excited over that...Maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I happen to hurt any of you and was too ignorant to realise that...

xx

Last night I dreamed about being carried off by a giant squirrel...does that make me a nut??

Fluffy Mathematics! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Shamiah thought F-Maths stands for Fluffy Mathematics! Ha! I can't stand it! Imagine mathematics being fluffy! Unless we are talking about Hagrid's Fluffy, of course. Haha!

And whoever's taking econs, take a look at the topics:
1. The Central Problem of Economics
2. Resource Allocation - Individuals and Markets
3. Resource Allocation - Firms and Markets
4. Market Failure and Government
Microeconomic Policy
5. The Macro-economy
6. Theory of Income and Employment
Determination
7. The Main Macro-economic Problems
8. Macro-economic Policies
9. International Trade

::vomits blood::

Anyway, so far, I'm considering taking triple science, chem+phy+FM, or chem+bio+econ...but then I need an A2 for AM to get FM, & B3 for all sciences to get triple science (only for MJC, of course)...so basically I'm dead.

xx

"what's c and f stand for? f? fluffy?" ~ my friend.

I'm in a very very bad mood. And my family's not helping...It sucks being stuck with your family for a whole day when I'm in a bad mood. I wish I can just scream at them but I can't 'cause it's not their fault. It's just me waking up on the wrong side of the bed...

And there's just so many things to clean! I don't know which notes to keep & which to throw away. If I throw away, my mum will keep asking me whether my little sis can use it in the future...happens every year...& my sis ain't helping either, shouting at me like that...

xx

This is so bloody boring. It’d be more exciting just to go to bed. ~ Days of our lives

Have anybody ever heard of flying rods? (www.flyingrods.com) I just heard it from my sister who heard it from TV. I still don't know what to make of it, nor do I know what to mak of the Loch Ness monster, Big foot or UFOs. Maybe they are there & we are not supposed to know...so I guess I'll pretend I don't. Of course, if we were in the Matrix, they could probably be a glitch or a virus...that is a much easier explanation.

xx

"Are we real or just a part of the Matrix?"

"I hate my sister. Idiot stupid person. I hate her." ~ my sister's blog

My sister hates me. I think everybody hates me. I've just been very ignorant, that's all. Lucky me. Going around the house & acting like an idiot...never realising I'm really irritating them. I always thought they knew I'm kidding around...I guess I better stop it, huh? Stop irritating people, start treating them like I want them to treat me...maybe help them with the housework...clean up the table after they eat...massage their backs...

Ok, I've really got to go. There's so many things to do...so many things to clean, so many things to find out, so many books to read...

Oh, I've watched Matrix Revolutions & it wasn't that bad what...its the ending to a trilogy! What did they expect? Actually I dont understand the ending...

xx

"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming train that's going to squash you flat." ~ DT...?

I got my dates for my Perdaus exams wrong…its on the 6th…more time to study…right…

…I keep imagining myself getting my results & realising I can’t get into the science stream...but that’s the better part. The worse part is not being accepted into JC. THEN I’ll have to go to poly & take bio tech, which my sister suggested...she also mentioned taking bio tech is just as good as going to JC…sigh…

...how could I have let them down? I died for my O-levels. I could have done much better but I didn’t. I took things for granted & wasted my 4 years here. I don’t deserve anything right now…

I’m regretting, I know, something which everyone have been telling me to avoid…I just want to forget about my ‘O’s. Forget about my whole life in rgs, being surrounded by all the smart people but never learning anything from them. But you know what I’m more afraid of? I’m afraid that I forget to regret. Then waste my next 2 years…again…

Gawd, I sound like an idiot.

xx

"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer." ~ Agent Smith

Ok, before I don't come online until the 27th, I've got this to say: I've heard everything about Matrix Revolution from my elder sis. And...I'm not gonna say much, but then I guess everybody's heard, the plot aint that cool, 'cause I expected better. How uncool is it? It's how in Matrix, Trinity kissing Neo & resurrecting him. And how in Matrix Reloaded, Neo pulling out the bullet from Trinity. That's how uncool it is. But hell. Maybe those who haven't watch it should try not to expect anything. It's not a stupid show nor is it great. Decide that after you watch it. Heh. Neo...what can I say about Neo...he is one freaking dude.

So now, I have to depend on the actions & animations now to ensure that I get some excitement from watching Matrix Reloaded.

Let's hope lotr3 & hp3 is better...but then there are critics for every movie.

xx

"Yeah. Free my mind. Right. No problem." ~ Neo

My Malay paper was easy. And I'm even more scared. 'Cause if I don't get an A1...that shows how stupid I am...

Anyway, I'm not ever going online again till the 18th...actually it should be the 27th, 'cause my Perdaus Paper is on the 26th...I think...so that means I have to write my animal story some other time...

xx

Don't Quit! ~ from the Chicken Soup for the Soul

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but have to sigh,
When stress is pressing down on you,
Rest if you must - But don't you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up, tho' the pace seems slow. -
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint & faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he captured the victors cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was, to the golden crown.

Success is a failure turned inside out.
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And your can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst you mustn't quit.

After school. Everybody's gone. Switch off the lights closest to the windows (lest reflection on the glass). Switch off the air-con (to be environmentally friendly...no lar just cold)...& finally sitting down at the teacher's table to use the computer...actually the computer's not the teacher's table. It's beside it. How come this table has never been called the computer table? Err...anyway, just saying I won't be doing this next year...

Muthu haven't replied for some months because he got an accident! Or was he just sick? Sigh...just thinking...if our penpals suddenly got into an accident & died (touch wood), we would never ever know he'd dead. All we'd know is he had stopped replying to our emails. When actually he can't do that because he's wiped from the surface of the earth. Scary.

xx

"Don't let your mind wonder. It's much too small to be off onits own anyway."

Quacksquacksquacks. I'm online again. This time, I'll talk animal talk. Moomoo. Oinkoink. Chirpchirp. Baabaa. RoarRoar. Wolfwolf. Miowmiow...miaomiao? Squeek...ok my spellings are getting worse.

xx

"I rule an Empire in Cyberspace called Internet."

I can't even watch Days of Our Lives in peace! I'm nuts. I'm stupid. Ayah keeps telling me to stop going online / watching tv & start studying but the more he says that, the more I don't want to study... & that is wrong! Argh! I hate him! I hate my mum too! I hate it when she comes into my room while I'm studying. Like this morning when I was studying & ibu woke up to eat sahur & she comes into my room & asked me if I've eaten & I felt this surge of anger...what is wrong with me? I don't hate them...

...

I used to study in school 'cause I can't study at home. So when I do go home, I feel like I've given up on studying & leave it to fate (usually knowing I'd probably fail). And now I'm probably going to go home everyday after the exams for the rest of the month until the 18th...I feel like giving up...I have nothing else to study for...I can't help it...I just want the 'O's to be over so I can stop feeling frustrated everytime my parent walk past me...wait, I think I know why I hate them...is it because I've failed them? And now they keep nagging at me...so instead of feeling remourseful, I feel angry...argh! They could have nagged at me a long time ago, but when did they chose to nag at me? Now. They prob think I'm very independant or something. Now they realised they're wrong...& it's all my fault...

...

Heh, nagged at me a long time ago? Yar right. Now I'm blaming my parents for my results. Childish.

xx

"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

I thought I lost my graduation ring...& I thought that's pretty horrible...but then my sis found it in the washing machine...& now it's scratched & all...-sniff.sniff-

I actually planned the things I'm gonna do after 'O's:
- bathe 2x a day (+brushing teeth)
(these days I bathe once in two days...)
- mengaji everyday
- start jogging again (weekly)
- wash dishes, throw the garbage, sweep/vacuum the floor, etc...(& hopefully get $$ too)
- actually *learn* to cook
- start reading mly & el newspaper
- read newsweek
- buy national geographic (if parents let me...$$?)
- &, the best of all, go library everyday!
- of course, there's also THE MATRIX, RETURN OF THE KING & HP PoA!
- pLuS HaRi RaYa!!!

But there are still people taking exams after 'O's, like xiao tian taking some Jap exam after Alma Matta, & me taking my religious class exams after HaRi RaYa...oh well...I know that every beginning has an end (y must Sirius die???) but exams definitely defy that.

Lalala...what was tt quote? "You may have missed the beauty of the morning, but do not miss the evening dew." (Hollond V) I hate that stupid WanWan. Who does she think she is? How come she thinks all the guys she choose for her sisters are the 'right' ones? And poor Xiong ge! How could she leave him like that? Btw, I like Yanyan's attitude. If I were in that family, I would be Yanyan. Definitely NOT RouRou...can't even fight a guy like Tianxiang...oh whatever. &...does 7-eleven really sells condoms? My sister was asking...

Then there's Salman who went to VJC(?) with his Josephian of the Year Award & his sportings talents...Shamiah's stressed having such a perfect cousin. While I am just trying to forget him...he has a girlfriend anyway(?)...

About my studies, I've got this to quote: "The first award spurred me on to go for the 2nd & 3rd award."
And this to say: "How come I never get spurred on by anything?"

xx

Fact: Coffee is the 2nd most widely traded commodity in the world, with oil ranked first and steel third.

What if, someone was depressed, and you were happy. You smiled at the person, talking merrily & laughing like nuts, but the person did not say anything. So then you get a little down-hearted & walked away. When in actual fact, the person felt very much happier than before. But you didn't know that. So you felt sad for the rest of the day. What a great sacrifice for a sad friend, don't you think? It's like some of the person's feelings enter you while some of your better feelings go away...oh, whatever. I guess this only happens to poor old me, huh?

xx

"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive anyway."

Excuse me but..."going to different institutions"? Of course I'm going to different institutions from the rest of the rgs population! This may be very negative of me, but I am just not meant to be in rgs in the 1st place.

Whatever. Take this extremely funny conversation between my friend & Mr Lui.

Ring, ring…
Lui : Hello? Georgia?
Georgia: (just woken up) Hello…
Lui : Georgia, this is Kenneth Lui speaking.
Georgia: WHAT Lui?!
Lui : Mr Kenneth Lui. *Anyway*, there’s Amaths remedial class today.
Georgia: There is?! But there can’t be!
Lui : There is. (He said with a final tone)
Georgia: But…my friend (forgot who) said she’s not coming today.
Lui : Yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come.
Georgia: But…I just woke up. (still sleepy enough not to come up w/ a better reason)
-long pause-
Lui : Can you get ready & come down *now*.
Georgia: (finally woken up) Oh, I have tuition later.
-longer pause-
Lui : Ok, can you come down tomorrow?
Georgia: But Mr Lui! Tomorrow is Deepavali! It’s not me, but I do not want to trouble you or anything, making you come down just for me especially on a holiday when you should be taking a rest with your family…etc, etc.
Lui : Oh, alright, come down on Saturday then. There’s a mock exam from 8 to 12 at 404 classroom.
Georgia: Err…okay…
-conversation end-

Heh, more quotes...btw, I found out the quote abt strapping toast on the back of a cat was originally made by Steven Wright.

xx

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.

Thx, Jia Wen. After Os is fine. Email me when u're ready.

So...after that ordeal, I went back to the library, packed my stuff & went home. Then I slept all the way till now. And now, I'm back on the computer. Great job, munirah. But then I always win against my conscience.

Anyway, I had a dream. We happened to be living in the daemon world, & someone I knew had her daemon taken away from her, & gosh, it hurts. So we organised this meeting to find out who's the idiot who pulled it out. Deborah Tan was in the meeting...anyway, after the meeting, I was packing my stuff & Shamiah was behind me & saying its late & she shd go home. I looked up at the clock on the classroom wall & realised its 10p.m. So I let her go first. Then I ran to catch up w/ her. She said she needed to go buy sushie(sp?) for dinner or sth.

Ok, that's not the point. When I woke up, I realised that soon, I won't be going home with Shamiah anymore. I won't be crossing the street & suddenly meeting Jia Wen at the bus stop anymore. Or maybe meeting Pamela or Annie. In fact, I won't even be in my classroon & looking up at the classroom clock anymore...
My mum told me to keep studying. My job is to study. Doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter how many friends I make & how many I lose...What is with me & friends anyway? Family is more important. The family who I don't feel close to, who I can't even speak of my problems to. The thing is, I always know what they are going to say before asking a question, or even telling them my problem. I know every specific detail they're going to give, & whether it'll hurt me or not. And when I do try asking, they reply exactly they way I thought they would. And no matter how much I want to rebut them, to tell them that they are wrong, that there is more to it, I won't, cuz I guess I still know what they'll say. So instead, I go back to my room & cry...I dunno why...I can't talk to them...my parents...

xx

"I'm not retreating! I'm just advancing in the opposite direction!"

Noooo! Don't make me go back to the library! Nooooooooooo! -gets down on her knees & starts begging- Ok, this is pathetic. -gets up again.-

I am so SICK of doing amaths! And I'm not even improving! Argh! I am also SICK of seeing kenneth lui every two days...And two days after this one, I'll have to take an EXAM. From 8 to 10 a.m. on this coming Saturday, I'll be in 404's classroom drawing stupid vector diagrams, erasing them, re-drawing them, erasing again, redrawing again...and all the time wishing I could watch Pokemon! It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!! Why must life be so unfair????????????
Ignore her.

Hmm...I'll be going back to the library soon to do some ss...& I can't even eat!!!!!!!!
Stop complaining, idiot. *Some* people would actually be smart enough to know that by fasting, we save time & thus become more efficient in studying for the (dreaded) O levels...

OK! Whatever! Can't you shut up for awhile, huh?

-silence-

Either I'm going crazy or I'm going crazy.

xx

"Flies, Padfoot. Flies" ~ Remus to Serius when Sirius had his mouth hanging wide open.

Hello. I'm feeling bored now. I have nothing on my mind now. Lately, when I come here I have something on my mind, but now I don't. Oh well, I've got some quotes anyway...I can't think of what to type...except maybe Hari Raya. I can't wait! I can't believe its coming...not that it would be as exciting once its here.........ladeeda.........I want to go overseas. Oh, you know what I really want? I want to touch snow. Snow is cool. Literally. I've read so many books with snow inside, and watched so many cartoons also with snow inside...I wish I can touch real snow...not snow city snow...I want to make snowmen & have snowball fights & all those stuff...but I guess we Singaporean people might not be able to stand snow without many many layers of clothes...

Btw, I think I had been studying more for my Prelims than my Os...oh well...

I think all this thinking about snow is because of Calvin & Hobbes. I was reading my bio notes, the one made by Edna Tan, with all the Calvin&Hobbes comic strips...and so I took out my big book of Calvin&Hobbes & read the comics inside. A serious waste of time, I know. But I sure enjoyed myself.

xx

"Love your enemies. It pisses them off."

I'm gonna babble now. About how sad I'm feeling. I feel so alone, no one to talk too, everybody with their own agendas, we are always alone anyway. How I wish i have a daemon. But then I have Tommy, my imaginary friend, so why am I complaining? Liyana is nowhere in sight, neither is Jia Wen. I can't even see them on the last day of school. Yeah, but so what? That does not mean anything. What makes me think I can see them anyway? Putting such high hopes for nothing. Like how people are complaining that they can't go HJC or RJC. Haha. Well, it's not funny...well then. An aggregate of 20 will still get me somewhere I suppose...there's just too little time left. Am I regretting? I hope not...whatever. I'll give Liyana a call to see if I can go over to her place. Of course, I don't mind if anybody else invite me over to their place. Except I know some people would rather study alone...why am I such a loser? Wait, I'm not.

Suicide does not solve anything. I know. I just feel sorry for those who think of it and also for those who had already done it. Yet I feel jealous of those who live such a good life that the thought of suicide never come to their mind.

Oh, I'm starting to get attracted to orange. But I can't bear to leave red. Ah, I'm such a loyal fan.

xx

"...thinking about what?"
"Oh, you know. The big questions of life. Like, if
toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always
land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on
the back of a cat and drop it?"
~DT