^cool people doing the cool action

Whatever happened to the cool & fun masaomi?? This Durarara! show ah... I think the storyline is getting very interesting... 3 friends who are so close and yet they are each keeping such big secrets from each other, so big that they might start a war in Ikebukuro itself... And then the show starts going down... with the episode after that showing Masaomi being an idiot & Anri trying to fix things by running around which is not the brightest thing ever... & now I'm waiting for the next episode to come out... & every week I wish one of those friends would speak to each other... At least give your friends a chance to explain themselves lah... they are your friends right... Haa.. Baccano! is so much better... Oh well...can't judge a great anime till all episodes are out right...

Hmm...anyway, I think this will be my last blog entry... Even a whole Sunday at home can't get me to update my blog cos I tend to blog-hop then forgot about my own blog... ahahah... ok what shall my last post be about...

Sy just came back from her graduation trip in australia & she got me souvenirs... Ah so sad that everyone's going overseas & all I get is souvenirs... heh... but she got me chocolate sweet-smelling perfume! If I use it together with the Radox honey smoothe body wash (which smells so darn sweeeet), I'll feel sweet the whole day... I love chocolate & honey :)) Sweet...

Ah sigh... ok what else are in my draft posts which I never posted...

A video: What will make you happy

A quote: "Learn to endure the pain, then next time ah, when the pain comes, it won't be so painful." ~My Dad. (This is the kind of advice my dad gives, for any kind of problem, his advice is always along those lines...sheesh...no point talking to him really.)

Oh & I actually made a new years resolution which I didn't post: "I guess mine would be to be more confident in myself, stop being so fickle-minded, & make a stand when i oppose to something." (Yea 6 months into the year & my confidence haven't really change... I think I really need to grow up... This is probably one of the smallest yet most important ability I need!)

My old iPhone wallpaper:


(Do you know this wallpaper helped me balance my trial balance :p)

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"We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have the power to imagine better." ~ J.K. Rowling during a graduation ceremony

Ok go offline & do something productive girl! Like iron my clothes for tomorrow...eheh.

sad lah...wat am i doing? i was hoping to see this one fren of mine online n i end up chatting w my distant frens...i got so many things to do! ie look for a job and laundry n stuff...dont like laundry...n what's up with all the romantic stories lately ah...true stories somemore...ok got some break up stories too...like today im gonna accompany my fren who just broke up...i wanna tell her actually i need to rest at home cos im working a 6 day week but i dont hav the heart too...im too nice haha...ok whatever...

Anyway, I still can't take this in --> the power of anime+internet

Read the true story it's quite sweet... Ok I think I'm the only one who finds that interesting cos I read their blog often...

Then there's my other friend who has 2 guys who want her and she don't know how to chose so I told her to solat istigharah & solat hajat...listening to her story is like listening to a drama ok... Then I took the 'what men wants' quiz n i got a 'you are totally clueless about guys' while my sis got a 'you know everything about guys' and she told me some of the answers...like how guys prefer sms to calls...and how when guys are telling you their problems, all they want to hear back is 'it's so small compared to the grand scheme of things'...

ok why am i blogging about romance...should I start volunteering as a tuition teacher...my last tuition kid didn't really improve much in her finals so I kinda got demoralized and irritated cos she never listens to me during tuition time too...and tuitioning for free even though its for the less fortunate...don't know if i can take that cos tuitioning is not easy to me lah...gah...and should i get a twitter account or something...n i got no time to make a new blogskin :(

and i still havent really watch the 60+gb worth of Arashi that sham gave me! whevenver i watch I get goosebumps of happiness cos they're just so lovable :DDD Even more cos I haven't watch them in a long time...Matsujun is so cool and handsome k...haa...why are their experiments so cool and dangerouS...and you know how you clap along with the audience at all their amazing stunts...wahaha...I don't think I can watch them all at one shot...sad lah...

and gosh i got no time to watch the new anime season! It's kinda hard to start watching a new series...Kobato ending is great! Inuyasha ending is great! And Durarara is continueing!

Ok I gotta get ready to leave the house now...no time and too lazy to edit to proper grammer.......

^Summer Wars

Met up with an old friend on Friday for a quick movie Summer Wars which is quite a fun movie. I woke up the next day feeling I was in the OZ world haha. And that friend of mine seems to be enjoying life with no worries lah...listening to the tales of a friend with a completely different life from mine can be very interesting...

Hmm... I'm meeting a friend at ECP later to receive a birthday gift...birthdays are nice but getting so old is not...

Gosh do you know how much I love Sundays? Guess I mentioned that before... It's such a nice break from my exhausting work...

Haha...Sundays I spend resting with my family and watching anime...I saw Syaoran and co. in the Kobato series and I miss them so much... I don't realy enjoy Kobato since it's a manga kinda dropped by Clamp, and I don't think they will ever tell us the mystery of Kobato... but I think the anime will come up with it's own version of ending. Dadeeda... Durarara this week is a bit boring... I only watch it for Shizuo and Izaya... And we know who Celty is but who is Izaya?? Think that'll remain a mystery like Kenpachi's Bankai...and I'm waiting to see Mikado to finally spill out his secret... guess it won't happen anytime soon and I have to be patient. And oh man I haven't read this month's Vampire Knight... it's a love/hate manga with lotsa blood-licking and angst and they like to stress on how Kaname is a vampire who can become a beast anytime but he's using all his energy to hold it in...haha...oh well no time to read the manga today since I'm going out... sigh...

Bet you don't understand a single thing in that paragraph. That time I was reading a post on Gundam Unicorn and I didn't understand all the terms they are using...haha the Gundam universe is so big. I should really start an anime blog, since that's the only thing I enjoy blogging about...

Oh Ya Allah, please give me a new job soon, and the strength to persevere through work next week!!

*********

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? ~ Charles Schulz

What would I do when I lock myself in my room, refuse to talk to a single person, feel all miserable, & really really need to SCREAM ?

1. SCREAM in my blog.

2. Go do my prayers.

********

Life is good.

Got the quote from my colleague's desktop background...haha...I don't know where she got it from...

Ok. Now. I'm gonna whine...here goes...

Why oh why is it new year already! Sobsob. What am I doing with my life?? This year is good but...I realise I like to start new things and then I quit when I get bored. Not that I started anything great this year... But I really get bored too easily...

And why did you teach me the meaning of SDU? That acronym keeps popping up in my head...sigh...

Why...why must we lose money to make money? (Like on Flyff!) Why must we fail to succeed? Why must the weak die for the species to survive? Why must I learn from so many stupid mistakes at work?

Oh yea today I didnt spend my day in the office...I did stocktake at different companies all over the east side...ha...nice to get out of the office...good thing I'm only an assistant...still learning...then at 5.30pm I came back to the office & the panic feeling rise when I look at all the files & documents on my desk! How to complete my book-keeping before 2010?? That's like 1 day away! And tomorrow prob doing stocktake audit again??

Can 2010 not come yet till I feel better & looking forward to it...haa...

And it's winter season anime already...am I the only one who think time flies too fast? Feel like I miss a lot of the fall anime...halfway watched Umineko & Darker than Black & Needless...I need to catch up with them soon!

Oh ya what's my new years resolution ah? Hmm...will think of one tomorrow night...I need my sleep now...zzz...

Trusting Him...But why are we still so afraid when all we see is a 4X6 picture of our life and He sees the whole canvas?

*********

I wish I'm more understanding sometimes. But I can't be that. I always don't understand why people do the things they do and why people feel the way they feel. I want to help but I don't know how...sigh...

Usually on my way home, I would think of going on my blog to just whine non-stop. Then once I'm online I'd be happy again. Away from humans. Don't need to understand them.

But then again...maybe it's about upbringing...or, you know...sahutan syaiton...

It's not easy to find the good side of people sometimes...ugh whatever lah...I'm not making much sense...

ANYWAY, today my family held a kenduri...hmmm...just thinking...why my Dad's side of the family so complicating ah? So many divorces. And even the one who got engaged in the end cancel last minute. I think cos he's around too many girls...he's good-looking too...but I don't know him ha. Still, my mum's side is easier to understand...all marry only once & marriage still intact...that's the best way to live a life...

...

And now I'm bored. I want my long weekend back! Playing online till 7am...I want that back! Not that it was mine in the first place...but yea...that Amir guy I added as a friend in fb is from Flyff & from his photos, he looks like a cool & popular guy & with a gf too, he doesn't look like a Gamer at all...Haha...I guess looks can be deceiving? But still, don't want to mix my Flyff world with my real life anymore. Like...why does he have a gf & I'm still single... And other thoughts of how boring my social life is...ugh I don't wannt go fb...

Life can be so mentally tiring. Wish I can sit under a rock forever. But. No man is an island. So I need to be realistic. Yea.

Well, now, there's work tomorrow. Can't wait to complete the audit report. Thought I could complete it on Thursday but it got too complicated. I want to get it done & over with!

Oh...It's Monday already??

*********

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He’ll catch you when you fall, or He’ll teach you how to fly.

Yea sham, life is great isn't it...it's just sometimes we wish it could be a teensy bit better. And term break is coming right...hope you won't be too busy with your fyp during your term break...we should meet up!

Hee...ladeeda I really want to watch Fairy Tail! BUT, it's only out on wednesday...The little things I look forward to...haha...And I can't believe there's no Bleach manga this week...last week's one is awesome though...And is there really gonna be 50 filler episodes for Bleach...that's like a whole year of fillers...that's just sad sad sad...............

Sigh...I love Sundays...had a nice day in Flyff world today...my social life is gone...except maybe I go out for dinner on fridays...yea fridays are nice...

But work...is getting very mundane...what am I suppose to do tomorrow? Okay I need to fill up the audit papers for Mehta company...so much paper work...and earning so little...it's like one week I'm doing nothing but numbers, then the next week I'm doing nothing but paperwork...so busy one week, so slack the next...and one week is a LOng time...but I guess the environment is nice so I'm ok with my workplace.

Like I sometimes go on facebook during lunch and my colleague would get on it to help me harvest my farm in Farmville cos she enjoys it...and I just let her cos I tend to just do what others do so that I'd fit in...but Farmville is ok lah...I still don't really use facebook though...ha...

Anyway...watching Heroes now... I find Peter Petrelli very cool with his flying and mind control...hee...Sylar is cool too with his psychic abilities...and I'm just guessing the rebel is Noah, Claire's father...hmm

Problem is Heroes ends at 12midnight which is very late...I always end up late for work on Mondays!

*********

You're all aspiring to be hospitalized aren't you. ~ Fairy Tail before a fight :D

I'm still receiving things that I don't deserve.

I haven't really been job-searching. I've been addicted to Flyff (a multiplayer online game) for the past month. Don't ask me how I got addicted. I just turn it on whenever I feel bored. The people there are nice.

Plus I don't think I deserve to pass FR or get a B for POA.

And I totally failed that Interview test about debit credit purchases cheques CPF & intangible assets...and I stammered cos I couldn't give 5 examples of current assets cos I was stressed.

And yet I got that internship.

Small CPA firm, but it's still a CPA firm right? But I know I must continue to learn from experience.

I didn't really want to blog but I'm still boggled that I got something to do at 9am tomorrow. And I guess I also want to thank Allah, so...Alhamdulillah.

And thus...the next phase of my life starts tomorrow. Yay :)

Sorry there's just nothing exciting to blog about. I seldom go out these days, not many interviews to go to, & I just want to run away. My days are ok la, Hari Raya visiting with my cousins are great as always, & anime (like the new season of Inuyasha) does make me happy...it's just this week is disappointing & demoralizing...But I'm gonna motivate myself! Somehow :)

I think I'm posting a lot cos these days, I've been feeling uneasy & restless & thinking too much. Really, why do the things I say don't really come out the way I intended it to? Got irritated.

Thank goodness I have my hamster, Sonic, who still makes me smile. Yeah I got a roborovski :) It's easy to upload, not very good quality video, so don't full screen it if you want to watch...

Ok, I've gotten my results. I did well. So what? I still haven't found what interests me, what I really want to do. I can work hard under stressful situations, strive hard to achieve to complete things that need to be done, learn things that need to be learned. But everything I've been doing so far, I do it half-heartedly. I do things well because I need to, not because I want to. I have my whole life ahead of me, I have the people I love around me, I'm satisfied. Yet...what is it that I want? Isn't being content enough...

Hmm should I post about my recently released exam results? I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it yesterday...ok truthfully my heart was leaping for joy. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah syukur alhamdulillah. I manage to pass all & graduate with a uol bachelor's degree & with honors.

Not everyone can manage that, sadly. I got a friend who passed everything for her first 2 years then suddenly failed 2 units in her last year, so she graduated with just a pass & no honors which is a blow to her, & she don't have the choice of retaking the units to get her honors. It's like she managed to jump a hurdle but she sprained her ankle at the same time...but I suppose sprained ankles can be healed with time eh...

Sigh...I can't believe it's all over for me. You know how stressful exams can be. I felt constantly lost during those exam periods...I read the Quran, listened to nasyids, google up the meaning of life & all...I went youtube to watch The Don't Quit Poem, borrowed the book of quotes The Bounty of Allah, & cried to sleep when I'm having my period...

Well it's all over, that's one hurdle down, & now it's time to find a job...but...I'm still idling my time away...sigh...I really need to get into an accounting firm soon...

Oh ya...I watched the jap movie The Tale of Mari and Three Puppies. (Cos the dog appeared in an Arashi no Shukudai show.) Anw, based on a true story, it's about a shiba inu who was stuck in an evacuated village after a terrible earthquake, all alone with her three pups. It also shows her deep relationship with her owners, and when the show past the midway point, I started crying non-stop, sniffling away till the end of the show...our life on this earth can stop short any second...not to mention the shiba inus are so cute hehex...

**********

"My Lord,
how great my desire to meet You,
how earnest my hope of your reward,
O Most Gracious,
Hope of all hope,
O Adored by all,
if I be unworthy of You,
and my endeavors not deserving of devotion,
then gladly shall I confess to my infirmities,
my sins.
For who could be more forgiving than Yourself?

But should You choose to chastise me,
I will satisfy myself in the knowledge that no one could be more just than You."

~Sha’wana, in Rabi’a the Mystic

Joanne joanne joanne...omg we see the funniest side of people when we are together in a pinch.

4 of us joined the Hullabaloo Blast Off organised by Tampines east cc, it's some kind of amazing race game where we travel all over tampines to 9 different stations and complete each of them.

I felt like I'm travelling all over singapore from the amount of running we did...ok fine we didn't run much...just shows I'm getting older & older...haa...

And gosh the amount of cheating we did during the game was so great I felt guilty. And yet we only got 700 points while the winners got 900 points...how in the world did they achieve that? They must have cheated even more than we did right...or maybe cheaters like us don't deserve to win hahaha...

I still remember one of the stations called Friendship where we filled up a questionaire & we were asked about our friend's questionaire without looking at our friend, and jo cheated by smsing me her answers: ddeff. I was a very blur person. I stared & stared & stared at the sms cos I didn't understand it. The questionaire had only 3 choices for each question: a, b or c, so why in the world did she sms me ddeff?? Only after the game I realised she must have wanted to sms aabcc...which is a bit too late la...so in the end our cheating didn't go very well.

And there was this station regarding religious tolerance where we were given many many different picture cards & needed to match the symbol of the religion to its name...and guess what's the symbol for buddhists? The noble eight-fold path wheel. My 3 other buddhist team mates didn't know ok! How am I suppose to know such a thing...it's not like it's displayed everywhere. And then there was no crucifix to represent christianity & my friends were confused over that...I really didn't know there are other types of crosses that represent christianity. We had to find & match TEN different religions and with our terrible general knowledge, we took a whole hour on that station. And jo kept throwing the cards down in frustration whenever we got the answers wrong...haha it was funny on hindsight.

Now I'm starting to understand how the other teams won...they were probably smarter than us in many ways...sad ah...

Heh I'm so childish joining such games...please grow up girl...but really the organizers of the event did quite a good job...it was fun, they had kayaking & all that, although I didn't actually kayak, it was really a great day in the end :)

*******

"Cast off your fear. Look forward! Go forward! Never stand still. Retreat and you will age. Hesitate and you will die." ~Zangetsu

I realise I'm not a thoughtful nor sensitive person...like how I can't say thank you when I'm really very grateful...sigh...just found out I'm having my period so I can't pray terawih...sad sad sad...not to mention that I have terrible moodswings when I'm having my mens...feel like screaming but... astaghfirullahalazim.

I hate whining online...and I am very sian of sending resumes...

Anyway, yesterday was kinda fun. I really enjoy going to the beach. I know people who go there almost every weekend to get away from the city, but I don't. So whenever I go there I just love the quiet scenery around me.

Yesterday's weather was very humid and the fog and mist made it bad to see the distance and the waters are not very very clean...but I like strolling...I think we strolled around 4km along pasir ris beach? Xz and I were looking for the bicycle shack but couldn't find it so we end up walking the wholE length from downtown east to the playground...we felt so greaT to finally reach our destination: the Swings!

I don't know where else we can find swings in Singapore haha...the kind that we can swing up high to feel the wind in our hair...it suddenly reminded me of an episode of Proposal Daisakusen when they went back to the past and Rei was swinging on the swings in their old school. (Yamapi is such a cool actor.)

Then over there we acted childish all over the playground, I climbed the tiny rock wall , climbed the bridge and the spiderweb, tried spinning on that spinning disc thing, slid down the slides...and before leaving, we went back to the swings to swing again...I miss the swings...sigh...

I hope xz enjoyed that failed cycling trip hee yesterday...she listened to all my silly problems without saying a word ^_^

And theres a stable at pasir ris ah? I wanted to go see if there were horses there but although the distance is cycle-able, it wasn't really walkable so we just gave it a miss...yay I enjoy the park...It's such a nice refresh from the concrete jungle we live in.

Oh Clamp made a song of all the characters in all the anime they have made so far...and just look at Mokona (the fluffy white Clamp creature with long ears and a red ruby). She's bouncing all over the place...so very cute! I realise anime tend to love creatures with long ears hahaha...

New blogskin :)

Sy, jo and evan asked me for badminton last sunday and I had no idea what are the rules but I just played and so my team lost a few rounds. Haha...then on monday my limbs were aching all over...I kind of miss that feeling. Just shows how long I haven't exercised...I really should do it on a regular basis...

Oh and I went kite-flying at east coast the other day and it was really nice :)) I love the outdoors. Nothing too straining like kayaking, and with the wind blowing in my face, makes it great no matter who I'm with. Yea my older sister was there...we are really drifting apart man...never chat with her much, just laughed about the wind and about the kite flying up and falling down and the string getting tangled and the kite finally getting stuck in the tree and throwing stones to make it come down. Yea my sister...I don't like her at times and yet I miss her.

Sigh...I'm a bit worried about someone but I'm not close to that person so I don't know if reaching out is a good idea...sigh...I should just wait...anyway...

"My heart belongs to Pi, NEWS and Arashi. :P"

Guess who wrote that? I still have no idea what they are feeling...I'm not really a fan but I did watch the Arashi haunted house the other day at sham's place and I laughed till I cry...ohno is so cool...and matsujun is just trying to act cool but fail terribly...gosh I can't watch...just going youtube to search for arashi and yamapi can make me laugh cos of the thousands of screaming fans...what is going on in their minds I wonder...

Back to anime, Shinji is back in Bleach manga! Can't wait for next week! And Hitsugaya is still so cute...I avoided watching the fillers till I realise Hitsugaya is inside...wahaha...

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
~Aristotle

Michael Jackson...he had been a part of our lives since young...I remember watching his movie and his music videos on tv a long time ago...and he had produced some great songs.

Ok I just feel like blogging after I come back from dinner with friends. You'd think all my girlfriends would know by now that all guys are thick-skinned jerks. I am so done with listening to stories of relationship break ups, or we-need-to-cool-off-so-lets-not-see-each-other-for-awhile stories. I hear these stories from my friends at least once a month, then there would be tears and we would go through lets-have-girl-outings-and-just-forget-about-him periods. Over and over and over again. It's a cycle in life, man. There are so many more serious things to worry about and yet oh so insignificant bgr always seems to come into the picture somehow.

Ya that guy who dumped you? He's a bastard. Really.

Anyway, I had a nice dinner with my friends yesterday and I just love being with them. Sometimes, there are only some friends we talk to who can make us feel good :))

And it's almost July and I have to start making money soon...but I seem to be dragging it because I still have my savings...but I've been digging from it for so long and I have to start putting money in again...and a friend asked to go to Malaysia to stay there for awhile in July...hmm I don't know if I should join them or not...I want quiet 'me' time...ok I need quiet 'me' time.

*********

If you want a rainbow, you must first embrace the rain.

I am so brokenhearted these days. I need to talk to someone. I don't like being brokenhearted. No, I'm ok. Or at least I want to be ok. And I want the people around me to be ok.

Hmm the Malaysia trip was nice except that my little toddler cousins can be heaven and they can be hell. They can make a fuss over the littlest things...oh & the 7 yr old brother...he just loves to snatch things from his little brother and say, "Sayang, I just want to see for awhile ok, don't cry lah sayang..." and then the next day he will snatch things from his brother again & repeat the same words...is he being sarcastic or something?? Hah...children...

So then anyway after coming back, I went prawning with the Angling Club people & fishing at Bedok jetty too...again, I met new people & again, I hear my friend softly telling me, "Look at kp flirting with B. Kp loves to flirt...hmph." But before that my friend herself was flirting with the other guys so I don't know what to reply her.

And just now I just completed watching Kurosagi...I love it! The show is almost parallel to Maou & I was afraid the ending would be the same...but it's not! And Yamapi! ^_^ Yay

Haha...other then that I'm just...rotting my life away watching shows online & meeting up with old friends...it's nice to go out & hang out with a friend...taking a break & enjoying my "holidays"...



It's just a part of life...this song can make me cry tears of joy...

I'm going malaysia tomorrow...yeah the same old place I go every year...having a house there means going back every year but why can't they have a house in Europe instead?? Haha...I must still be thankful...anyway I'm coming back on the 4th...looking forward to the trip :)

Oh and I went cycling with sham & eunice yesterday...sad that jw can't come with us :( Hope she's feeling better now...For me, the cycling was a nice refresh after the exams...we took lotsa photos too...then we went shopping and went to the library. Then I went back home to watch K-On! Love that anime...still got 2 more episodes to watch, but first, I have to pack my stuff...

Ok before further reading, emo warning first which I just have to let out somewhere...

I just think that this world is a crazy place...I want to make it right, but I can't...and it really makes me want to hurt myself because that's when I feel better, I want to go rock climbing and get blisters, I want to go roller blading and scrape my knee, I want to go jogging till I'm out of breath and my head starts spinning...those are some of the ways I let go of the world...I want to, but I don't of course...

Sigh...anyway I can always let go of the world when I do my prayers...and letting go is NOT easy...and when I finally do let go of it, I don't want to come back to this crazy world...

Sometimes, I feel guilty having fun...but then I see others around me having fun and I'd feel I'm left out, but yet after I have fun, I would end up thinking too much & start feeling weird again..."maybe cos I hv 2think ahead n i'm not prepapred n i hv nobody 2turn 2 or depend on"...that's what my friend sms me about her feelings...maybe my feelings are around the same as hers...although I do have people to turn to but I'm not that type to do that...

I want to be more confident in myself...alright I need to go out there and do something. Maybe become an accounting teacher? My aunt told me that some schools are looking for accounting teachers & that I should apply...but I never wanted to be a teacher in the first place...hmm...there's so many things I can do...but first...I need to pack my stuff...

Today, I'm going for Wyeth family day...leaving the house soon...hopefully can go prawing later too :) Life is sweet.

************

The servile earth and the lofty sky:
without this opposite
the sky would not be so high.
The low and high of the earth
are winter and spring.
The low and high of time
are night and day.
The low and high of the body
are sickness and health.
By means of these opposites
the world is kept alive;
by means of these doubles
souls feel fear and hope.

–Rumi, Mathnawi, 6:1848-51, 1853